Some Amusing Things About America and Britain

Tags

American football, Americans, Asperger's Syndrome, Autism, BBC, Clara Barton, Crimea, Emmeline Pankhurst, Florence Nightingale, Great Britain, history, Lorraine Kelly, Russia, school shootings, stereotypes, Susan B Anthony, The Sun, US history

Last week’s post about the BBC seeming not to make a great deal out of the school shooting which took place in Crimea had me wondering what Lorraine Kelly might have said in her column in The Sun newspaper a few days after. After all, whenever a shooting happens in the US, Lorraine is the first to comment on the tragedy and go on about how all Americans love their guns etc. Therefore, I was hoping that she would say something in her column about the Crimea school shooting. Guess what? There was no mention of it in her column at all. My conclusion is that Lorraine and the BBC are only interested in school shootings if they happen in America. The sad thing is that this will not be the last school shooting to happen outside of the US.

Lorraine Kelly

Now that I got that off my chest, I have been thinking further about myths, facts and stereotypes bounding back and forth between the US and UK so I think I’ll write about that today.

First a myth: American football is not popular in Great Britain. Really? Has anyone in the UK tried to buy tickets to NFL games in London? I’ve tried on several occasions and they just sell out too quick. So we can at least conclude that at least around 70,003 people in the UK like American football. Further proof is the fact that I am a referee in the domestic game here in Britain and I can say there are over one hundred American football teams throughout the country.

College football

19th Century Women of History

During the Crimean War, Florence Nightingale gave up her life of privilege to attend to wounded soldiers She laboured tirelessly to improve conditions and medical conditions there. During the American Civil War less than a decade later, Clara Barton matched Florence’s actions.

At the end of that century, Emmeline Pankhurst led the Suffragette movement in getting women the right to vote. Her American counterpart was Susan B Anthony. Both women endured a lot of opposition and even arrest from males who wanted to maintain the status quo.

Florence Nightingale

Clara Barton

 

Emmeline Pankhurst

Susan B Anthony

As typical with my Aspergian mind, I had more thoughts on this but they’ve all seemed to have gone south. They’re probably come back shortly after post, I’ll just have to write them down for the next time.

To buy He Was Weird, go to: https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1540315606&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stereotype Kept Me From Getting Help

Tags

Americans, anxiety, Asperger's Syndrome, Autism, counselling, D.A.M.P., Great Britain, mental health, Mormons, social settings, stereotypes

Further reflecting on last week’s post about how I have grown comfortable living in Great Britain has brought up an issue from the past. When I came to the UK 32 years ago, the one great piece of baggage I brought with me was my mental health issues. Changing country doesn’t make them go away, though I never thought it would. Saying that, I still disagree with the college chaplain at Queen Mary College in London, who said that I came to Britain to run away from my problems. I won’t go further into it but you can read my ancient post, “Did I Run Away?” if you’re interested.

Thirty or so years ago, mental health was a taboo subject for people but even more so in Britain. In 1990, I went to my doctor because I have a family history of thyroid problems and I saw that I had some of the symptoms associated with it. My doctor told me that it was all in my head and referred me to a psychiatrist. When I started seeing the psychiatrist, my wife swore me to secrecy about it, especially around her family. Her feeling was that seeing a shrink wasn’t something you do in Britain. It’s something Americans do. During the time I was seeing the psychiatrist, I was also strong in the Mormon Church. There was some things the psychiatrist said that came into conflict with the teachings of the church. As a result, I thought I should talk to my bishop about it and when I told him that I was seeing a psychiatrist, his response was, “A lot of Americans do that.” Even though, he gave me some wise council regarding it, those words were the ones that stuck out the most.

This is the stereotype that filtered through my Asperger’s/DAMP mind for many years. Throughout my life, I always thought that there wasn’t something quite right in my mind. Hell, others were quick to point it out too. However, in addition to the popular taboos about seeing a mental health practitioner, the fear that I was acting like a stereotypical American persuaded me from getting any help. Shrinks and counselors were things that ‘Americans do’ and in Britain, you’re simply supposed to sort it out on your own. The stereotype went even further with some Britons saying that Americans were so weak minded, they need to talk to their psychiatrist because they can’t cope with their pet hamster dying. I definitely didn’t want to be thought of in that way.

Eventually, I did break free of the stereotype when I decided to go into counselling many years ago. Even then, I did it in such a way that only the people I wanted to knew about it. Fortunately, at my first session with the counselor, I told her my fears with the stereotype and it was a major breakthrough for me when she said she had never heard about that stereotype. While that was a major turning point, there were still many obstacles to over come and with that help, I have been able to overcome many of those. My conclusion is that no matter where you live or who you are, if you need help, go and get it!

Now, my Asperger’s mind has me envisioning loads of people, most British, saying that I shouldn’t have let that stereotype get to me. Well, they’re right, I shouldn’t have. But when there are so many stereotypes against your nationality that I wanted to avoid, the last thing I wanted to do was to do something that substantiated that stereotype. I must also point out that not all British people think that about Americans and I don’t want to be accused of stereotyping all British people, my counselor certainly didn’t. Stereotypes aren’t good and with someone with a mental health problem, they can get in the way of getting the help that person needs.

To buy He Was Weird, go to: https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1538416596&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

 

 

Actually, I Do Like It Here

Tags

Americans, anxiety, Asperger's Syndrome, Autism, D.A.M.P., discrimination, Great Britain, mental health, Politics, race relations, school shootings, stereotypes, The Sun

Being an American who has lived in Great Britain for the past 32 years, I am often asked the question, “Don’t you miss America?” The straight forward answer is “No.” However, there are things I do miss about my native country. I often joke about it but I do miss not being able to get Cap’n Crunch cereal and that is the first thing I buy whenever I go back to the States. Tastykake fruit pies is another one. But it’s not all about food, which is cheaper in the US, so are clothes. Whenever I am trying to park my car into a tight parking space, I do wish they did the diagonal and larger car park spaces like they do in America. The internet age has made it easier to watch American Football or ice hockey games without having to wait for a video of the game to be sent to me. For the most part, though, I don’t miss living in America.

One thing which many teachers who ask me that question are in agreement with is when I respond, that when I go into a UK classroom as a substitute (supply) teacher, the chances of me getting shot are virtually nil. I know the chances of it happening in the US are still slim, despite all the media hype, but I am much more likely to get shot in an American school as opposed to a British one.

This is the extreme, there are other reasons why I like living in the UK. For years, I have been afraid to sing the praises of Britain’s National Health Service. This was mainly down to my own Asperger’s fed paranoia that if I did, the more politically conservative British types would brand me a “health tourist” and those who fanatically believe everything they read in The Sun newspaper would happily jump on the bandwagon and say the same about me. These people would need to get their facts right. I can safely say that my National Insurance contributions over the past 30+ years are more than what the NHS has spent on my personal healthcare. I am NOT a health tourist and it’s ignorant to think of me as such. On the other hand, had it not been for the National Health Service, I believe that I could have been a two time widower or at the very least, paying astronomical health insurance premiums if not paying sky high doctor bills. The health service saved the lives of my wife and my ex-wife. In spite of what a few American rednecks have tried to tell me online, the NHS works!

Life in Great Britain hasn’t all been peaches and cream, I have had challenges. I honestly believe that in the first few years that I lived in the UK, there were times when I was genuinely discriminated against when going for jobs. It may sound stupid to many Brits, especially those who view race issues through rose coloured glasses, but I learned quickly that no one is going to cry racism for a white American. Not just jobs either, the reality of it all came down when, many years ago, I was accused of lying when I was off sick from work on July 4. I appealed to the Racial Equality Commission for help and was told that white Americans don’t come under the Racial Equality Act. Furthermore, I have heard many ‘jokes’ aimed at Americans where had the same joke been said about another nationality, the teller of the joke would have been branded a ‘racist.’ At times, I have found this very frustrating and I have also found the response, “Don’t let it get to you,” patronizing. With my Asperger’s/DAMP soaked mind, it does get to me and I sometimes wish it would be taken more seriously. And I take little comfort in people who try to console me by saying, “If you weren’t white, it would be racism.” While that’s probably true, it doesn’t help and the person who says it is being racist themselves. What I have done is to not let it spoil my fondness for my adopted country. I like it here.

One thing I was guilty of when I first came to Britain is stereotyping. Yes, I hate it when I am stereotyped with all Americans so now I know better. Originally, I came to the UK to attend university for one year. When I arrived, my politics were left of centre even in British politics. (In America, I was thought of as a Communist.) Also, I was very angry at America at the time, so I thought that my left wing anti-American views would make me the cool guy at the college because I thought that British students all shared my views. Many did but many didn’t not. Some looked with utter confusion when they saw me reading Socialist Worker. When asked why would an American be reading such a paper, there was mixed reactions to my response, “I’m just taking advantage of the fact I’m in a free country where I can read things like this.” So, contrary to what Americans might think, not all British students are loony left Marxists. Nowadays, while I’m still left of centre, I have issues with the far left which I will share in a future post.

What the main point I’m trying to get off my chest is that I love living in Britain. Not just for the NHS but many other reasons. Most are socially more tolerant than my country of birth. This is especially true in regards to my mental health issues although the US is improving on that, which is good. Nothing against the US, I still love the country I was born in but I am much more suited to life in the UK.

To buy He Was Weird, go to: https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1537873672&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Coward’s Way Out

Tags

anxiety, Asperger's Syndrome, Autism, books, He Was Weird, labels, mental health, stereotypes, suicide

Today’s title is what many people, sometimes myself included, call suicide. They claim if a person wants to kill themselves, they are taking the coward’s way out. However, I also believe that this is just a lazy label from persons who don’t want to deal with the subject. It is unfair to say that a person who wishes to end it all is simply taking the coward’s way out because no one, other than that person themselves, knows what’s going on in his or her head and that things have become so bad for them that they see there’s no other way out.

I’ve been here myself. The first time was when I was nine and one occasion, I actually did stab myself. Fortunately for me at the time, my sister had brought me a butter knife, which couldn’t do the job properly, actually, not at all. Looking back, my mother and then step father saw the whole thing as funny and told me not to be so stupid by wanting to stab myself. Back then, we’re going back nearly half a century, mental health was something to be embarrassed about, especially in the middle class suburban neighbourhood I was living in at the time. Therefore, I wasn’t given the help I most likely needed.

Over the years since, there have been other times when I thought of or threatened to commit suicide. Looking back at those situations, those were probably cries for help or attempts to elicit sympathy. I got to be careful here because I know that this isn’t the case for everybody. The irony here is that during the three years of bullying hell which inspired me to write “He Was Weird,” I never thought of committing suicide. It could have been that I thought someday, I would move out of that town, which I eventually did. Seeing another way out definitely removes any thoughts of ending it all.

In our millennial year, that all changed. My world came crumbling down all around me in several ways and I believed it was all down to me. I thought that I simply screwed everything up and maybe the world was better off if I wasn’t around to wreck things. Besides, people around me seemed to be getting on fine without me and that gave me even more incentive to end it all. Nobody wanted me around anyway so maybe I should make it that I wasn’t. I had even chosen the method, hooking up a hose to my car’s exhaust and killing myself with carbon monoxide poisoning. Furthermore, I vetoed my idea of having music playing in the car at the time because I didn’t want anyone to say that music caused my suicide. What made me hesitate, however, was my belief that I would be taking the coward’s way out. That hesitation made it possible to get a last minute phone call from the person who I thought had pushed me over the edge and it was that call which brought me back. I don’t think that person ever realized it but they might have actually saved my life.

Not everything was peaches and cream after though. It was a struggle but fortunately, I had a network which provided short term help and sound advice which benefited me greatly. That is why when similar feelings came around again a few years later, I recognized it and that time, I ignored certain stereotypes and put myself into counselling. Probably one of the best decisions I had ever made in my life!

My conclusion from all of this is that while the notion that suicide is taking the coward’s way out might have saved my life, it isn’t a true notion for everyone. Some might argue that a person who wants to take their own life is actually brave by carrying out. That’s not my point. We can’t see into another person’s mind nor truly feel the anguish they might be experiencing at the moment or what events from their past might have contributed to their decision. What everyone needs to be is more supportive and understanding and take mental health much more seriously.

To buy He Was Weird, go to: https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1536566786&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

You’re On Drugs

Tags

anxiety, Asperger's Syndrome, Autism, Cheech and Chong, D.A.M.P., drug use, films, labels, mental health, stereotypes

Scene from Up In Smoke

Recently, I read an account where the author witnessed a man walking down the street, seemingly on drugs. When I challenged the author as to whether or not it was clear that the man was on drugs and not just mentally ill, the response was that the man was heading straight for the building where addicts are given free methadone. Okay, in this case, the man was more than likely on drugs.

While I freely admit that I was wrong in the above setting, this doesn’t effect my frustration at an accusation that is hurled with great speed at people who suffer from metal illnesses. That they must ‘obviously’ be on drugs. I know this to be true because I often had this accusation thrown at me, though it didn’t help that back in the intolerant times of 80s Regan America, I committed such fashion crimes like having long hair and wearing Native American moccasin boots. So in the eyes of most people, that, with my supposedly weird behaviour, I must have been on drugs.

I loved these boots and wore them most of the time

Nowadays, the “that person must be on drugs” label is used to describe anyone who appears to be acting out of the normal. Conditions such as Asperger’s Syndrome, Autism, DAMP and other metal health related ones simply don’t enter into it. The conclusion is that person is simply on drugs and it is used as an excuse to ward off any arguments to the contrary.

Let me tell you people that all of the above conditions are real! Many people have them and it has been estimated that one quarter of the population have some sort of mental illness and many of them aren’t on drugs, at least illegal ones anyway. The ones they are on are prescribed by their doctor to try to counteract said illness or at least lessen the symptoms. So next time you are in a public place and see someone who is acting in a non-normal way, give that person the benefit of the doubt. Sure, they may be under the influence of drugs or alcohol but there is more of a chance that they are suffering from a mental illness. Show them some compassion and be less quicker to judge.

Shameless link to He Was Weird alert. Mark was aged ten to thirteen in the story and going from my own experiences, I wasn’t considered to be on drugs then, just weird. Therefore, the issue doesn’t feature in it. However, this doesn’t excuse those who tormented him or me on account of said weirdness.

To buy He Was Weird, go to: https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1531213271&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why Do I Feel Like An A***ole?

Tags

American football, anxiety, Asperger's Syndrome, Autism, D.A.M.P., friendship, mental health, Self Esteem, stereotypes, victimization

The reason I ask this question is based on an event from the past week. What happened was that one of my American Football officiating colleagues phoned me up and asked if we could swap games. Normally, I would have genuinely done so until he told me where his game was at. This made me hesitate because going to the new venue would have added about 60 miles round trip to my journey. Furthermore, I officiated a game there a few years earlier and it was the journey from hell. Therefore, I told him I would think about it.

Well, I did think about it and though he tried to give me alternatives that would make swapping seem attractive, I declined to swap and cited other reasons. Most important, I would have been given up the opportunity to officiate two games to travel further to do one. Because of work, I only get to officiate games every three to four weeks so for me, the more games I can get, the better. Second, the second game of the double header starts at the same time as the single game, so I would have been home later. Neither I or my wife want me being out too late, although the flip side is now I have to leave an hour and a half earlier but that’s not so bad. In the end, my colleague seemed to accept my reasons and was quite gracious about it.

In spite of all of the above, part of me feels like I am being a complete asshole towards this other guy. These thoughts arise from my past, when I did say no, there was someone out there to make me out to be the bad guy because I did. Furthermore, some of these were the same people who used to manipulate me because I was easy to do so. They didn’t get their way this time, so they made it all my fault, like I was being unreasonable. The problem was that with my Asperger’s and DAMP, I believed they were right and I was being some unreasonable asshole, when in reality, I wasn’t.

This feeling has plagued me throughout my life and is born of the belief that I am always wrong and combined with self doubt, for most of my life, I have thought that whatever I do, whichever decision I make, it’s going  to be wrong! If I stand up for myself and say no, in spite of having good reasons for doing so, I am wrong and if I give in and say yes, then I allow myself to be taken advantage of. The result has been not good for my mental well being and led for my feelings of self victimization for many years.

So, not that I need reassurances although it is good to get them, am I being an asshole for refusing to swap games? I don’t think so. I could go as far as to say the only reason he wanted to swap was that he wanted to officiate two games himself without having to travel. However, while that might be the case, I won’t question anyone’s motives if I don’t need to. I know what it’s like to have that happen. All I’m saying is that after giving it thought, I decided not to swap games and stay on the game I was assigned to. If people think I’m being an asshole on account of that, then that’s their problem.

I can’t say if I touch on the subject in “He Was Weird” but the bullying in it was so bad, it wouldn’t have mattered. To buy the book, go to: https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1527526540&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

I Won’t Be Watching the Royal Wedding

Tags

Americans, Asperger's Syndrome, Autism, Great Britain, history, marriage, Politics, Royal Family, stereotypes, television, weddings

The main reason is that I’ll be at work on Saturday and Saturday is the day, Melvin (I’ll call him that), has his trip out to buy items which cater to his interests, namely models, post cards or DVDs. So, I’ll travelling to and from one of his favourite places in which to procure such items that match his interests. I shouldn’t be anywhere near a television and even if I was, I know Melvin wouldn’t want to watch it any as he would declare it boring. This too is a good thing because if he wanted to watch it, I would be forced to watch it with him and I don’t want to do that.

First of all, before I start my little rant, I would like to say I wish Harry and Megan all the happiness they deserve. It’s great when anyone finds the person they wish to hopefully spend the rest of their lives with, whether it’s a prince, a film star or even what the conservatives in the US and Britain call a ‘benefit slob.’ This doesn’t mean that I have to be glued to the television watching the ceremony and that is not an insult to the happy couple. I believe if they wanted me to watch them get married, they would have sent me an invitation.

The soldiers of King George III

My main reason for not wanting to see the big wedding is that I am not a royalist. Growing up American, I had years of how the American people rose up against oppression by a king, (I know in reality it was the British Parliament levying all those taxes on the colonies but that’s not the point here), kicked out those whom they felt were symbols of that oppression and formed an independent republic, pounded into my head in history lessons. That is why the US Constitution forbids bestowing any titles of nobility. Therefore, watching a symbol monarchy goes against what I was taught in school.

Let me kill another stereotype. Most Americans really don’t care about the Royal Family. Yes, a few upper middle class women are getting really excited about it and it’s enough to make George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, John Hancock and Benjamin Franklin spin in their graves, but most of America will not be watching the wedding. Saying that, a lot of people in the native country won’t be watching it either. Anyway, most Americans, while happy for the couple, don’t really care enough to want to watch in on television.

While I won’t be watching the wedding, I won’t begrudge anyone who does. It is their choice and in Britain, I realize it’s part of history and tradition. Besides, the royal family is reported to bring far more money into the UK through tourism than what the government spends to keep them. Who am I to argue with that? Nor will I. The UK is my adopted country now and in some ways, it has treated me better than the country I was born and grew up in but that doesn’t mean I have to watch a royal wedding on that account. So again, I wish Harry and Megan to have a very happy day! I just won’t be watching it.

To buy He Was Weird go to: https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1526635842&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

 

 

 

 

 

Thinking About This Sends My Asperger’s Through the Roof

Tags

anxiety, Asperger's Syndrome, Autism, bullying, D.A.M.P., Dear White People, Great Britain, intolerance, Netflix, police, race relations, stereotypes, television

Ever since last week, when I posted about my reflections on the Netflix television show, “Dear White People,” my mind has been going in one thousand different directions. This is because since my time in the marines, the issue of race and everything to do with it has played havoc with my anxieties. Common sense should tell me not to think about it, let alone write any posts on the subject. However, for someone with conditions like Asperger’s Syndrome and DAMP, not thinking about it is more difficult than thinking about it.

Too many variables on the subject have been thrown into the mixture in my mind and all of them are vying for recognition when thinking about it. There’s the stereotypes, both good and bad, how it is portrayed in the media, contributions by others and finally, my own experiences with it. This is a lethal cocktail mentally and has caused a war inside my head. The only way I know how to deal with it is to write about it in the hopes that it will eventually make sense. So far it hasn’t.

It is also probably the reason why I am so into watching “Dear White People.” Part of me hopes that it will bring me some sort of understanding. So far, I am totally enjoying the programme because it does make you think. I mean really think. However, not all of it is truly positive. Some of the misjudged racial stereotypes I’ve held in the past come to mind at times. One thing that keeps coming up, because the incident which triggers actions and reactions from blacks and whites, is the controversy surrounding a ‘Black Face’ party held by some white students at the university. This is an example of the conflict in my mind. My brain is telling me that the white students are being racist, the party is insulting to black people. However, one counter that springs to mind and in a way, I’m slightly disappointed that the programme didn’t use it themselves is: “White people didn’t complain at the movie, ‘White Chicks.'” Now I know that this statement is ludicrous but this won’t stop some white people from using it as their defence or justification.

Living in Great Britain hasn’t lessened my anxieties about race. In fact, it has put a different emphasis on it. Over the past two years, there have been scandals involving men of Pakistani origin who have been sexually abusing young white British girls. This has set off a big debate in the UK but one of the excuses churned out as to why this abuse was allowed to go on for so long was that people were afraid of being called ‘racist.’ While the shooting of black men by American police officers in the US has been news on both sides of the Atlantic, the police forces dealing with the sexual abuse in the UK have tried to justify their lack of attention and poor police work in the matter by stating that if they had gotten involved, they would have been called ‘racist.’ To me, that’s a cop out by the police but saying that, it’s not an excuse for racism against the Pakistani community in Britain. This along with other issues has poured oil on the flames caused by the war on the subject taking place in my brain.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I’m still trying to make sense of the issue of race in my own mind. Maybe I never will fully but I would like to make enough sense of it to stem the war inside my head. That could bring my anxieties down a lot. Then again, the one question that has never been answered, which goes back to the days in the service, is: “Why did the African-Americans in the service target me when there was the perfect target in their midst?” See, the blacks seemed to go after me, when I posed no threat to them but they never ever went after the redneck mountain boy who openly admitted he was in the Klu Klux Klan. I invite anyone of African descent to answer this question because when it is answered, it will smash down a major wall in my mind.

To buy He Was Weird, go to: https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1526417720&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

 

 

 

New TV Show Opened My Eyes

Tags

anxiety, Asperger's Syndrome, Autism, bullying, colleges, Dear White People, films, intolerance, Netflix, race relations, stereotypes, television

A few weeks ago, another blog called “TV & City” posted about a show on Netflix called “Dear White People.” After reading the post, I became rather intrigued about the programme. It is a dark comedy about a group of African-American students who attend a predominantly white Ivy League university. It started slow but by the end of the first episode, the show had gotten me seriously thinking about race issues and I had to watch the second.

What really got my attention during Episode One, Series One, was the scene near the end when the main character, Sam, brings her white boyfriend to a meeting of African- American student groups on campus. The dialogue between the boyfriend and an black male becomes heated enough to the point where the white boyfriend asks, “Are you gong to hit me now?” The black man responds, very well I might add, with, “I don’t use my fists. In fact, I should hit you for asking if me if I’m going to hit you.”

This definitely awoke something inside me. From my experiences in the service and for the first few years after leaving, I believed the stereotype that young black men would rather use their fists as opposed to their words. The weird thing was, I thought that I was one of the few white people who actually thought this, boy was I stupid!

True, there are black men out there who resort to using fists before words. Then again, there are white men who do to. The redneck mountain boy, whom I mentioned in an ancient post was always threatening to kick people’s asses and throughout the 32 years I’ve lived in the UK, I have seen some British men who are like it too. However, most people and that includes African-Americans, would rather settle differences by using their words instead of their fists. Just like I protest when people outside America stereotype all Americans, I know it’s wrong to stereotype others and I should not let a couple of experiences lead me to believe the stereotype that all black men would rather use their fists to settle a situation.

To buy He Was Weird, go to: https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1525802487&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

 

 

Ending School Shootings? Let’s Start With Tolerance

Tags

1970s, Asperger's Syndrome, Autism, books, bullying, fantasies, guns, He Was Weird, religion, stereotypes

From my very first post on Peaceful Rampage, I stated that whenever I heard about a school shooting, my first reaction was, “This could have been me.” The reason why it was never me was down to having no access to guns. Even if I had access, I still wouldn’t have shot up my school because back when I was going through the bullying hell, it was the early 1970s and school shootings were events which occurred in large inner city school as was very often gang related. Therefore, the thought of going into my school with a gun and shooting everyone in cold blood never entered my mind.

Thinking back, while I might not have thought about my school, I did used to fantasize that I was a junior police officer and had my own gun. In those fantasies, I would save the city from robberies and such where I would shoot the bad guys but those fantasies also included shooting some of the bullies when they were aggressive towards me because I was acting in self defense. So, that means the potential for me to carry out a school shooting was there, just thank God I had no guns.

Everyone has reasons why school shootings happen. Some of these are quite plausible while others are not. Access to guns is a definite contributor to why shootings happen. You can’t shoot anyone if you don’t have a gun. Bullying is another but that depends on the mind of the shooter and their idea of how bad the bullying was. Mental illness can definitely play a part. If a person has mental issues, then that person can be much more easily pushed over the edge and snap. These can all play a part as to why shootings occur. Another argument is religion being taken out of schools. That children today have no spiritual compass and if the ten commandments were hanging in every classroom, then children would be less likely to shoot up their school. Now, I am not knocking religion, I have my own beliefs there and many people have changed their lives and find great comfort and joy in finding God. But forcing it on people is more likely to have the opposite effect. In “He Was Weird,” Mark believes God is behind his school shooting from verses in the Bible in Deuteronomy, where God is commanding the Israelites to wipe the Canaanites off the face of the Earth. One could argue that the Bible drove him to kill. It didn’t but it did give him courage. However, I don’t think the music of Marilyn Manson drove anyone to kill.

Marilyn Manson- He didn’t inspire Mark in He Was Weird

I think the main contributor to school shootings is the setting of the school. The ones where the ‘weird’ kid is outcast, bullied and made to feel they don’t belong anywhere. Students and at times teachers treat such a person in a way they feel bad about themselves. In short, no one tolerates a ‘weirdo.’ What they fail to understand is that the kid might have mental problems. Like Mark, he might have Asperger’s Syndrome or DAMP or some other mental affliction. Bullying or mercilessly teasing that person or doing anything along those lines isn’t the way to go about it. People are different and because they don’t conform to your idea of what is “normal,” it doesn’t mean you exclude them or bully them or anything else. Because if that person has access to guns and snaps, well, we know what the end result of that is. Fortunately, I didn’t.

To buy He Was Weird, go to: https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1520281520&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird