“Lord bring on the night;
Wrap it all around me;
Let it hold me tight;
Soak up all that I bleed.”
Tomorrow I will be flying over to the US, however, I won’t be there on holiday or to enjoy myself. I am going because my mother passed away last week and I will be going over for the memorial service and to help support my sister in settling her affairs. Her instructions in her will very very explicit as to how she wants things handled and that’s a good thing. The most important thing is that she asked to be cremated and her ashes spread into the ocean in Ocean City, New Jersey. That will happen.
I know with my Asperger’s type mind that if I don’t keep busy while I’m there, it will affect me greatly. First, I’d like to thank my supply teaching agency and Callowell Primary School for their understanding and keeping me busy so I wouldn’t think about it. Trust me, if I spend too much time thinking about, it might result in depression and I don’t want that. Furthermore, there is lots to be done when I get to the States. My mother’s house will need to be thoroughly cleaned and devoid of cigarette smoke, she was a heavy smoker. Also, my sister will need my assistance in other areas and I am prepared to do that.
My mother was a big animal lover and has asked that instead of flowers, donations to be made to her named animal charities:
Front Range Equine Rescue, P.O. Box 458, Ocala, FL 34478
Thoroughbred Retirement Foundation, P.O. Box 834, Saratoga Springs, NY 12866
Cheetah Conservation Fund, P.O. Box 2496, Alexandria, VA 22301
What is worse from my side is that fact that my wife and I have both lost our mothers within two and a half months of each other. This has been a hammer blow for both of us but we both thank all of those who have been a support.
When my mother in law died, I shared lyrics from a song by a band called Tyketto. I think now that I should share the song itself compliments of Youtube. The song is performed solo by the lead singer, Danny Vaughn, the most underrated voice in music.
Rest in Peace Anne Bradshaw, for me Mom.
From my very first post on Peaceful Rampage, I stated that whenever I heard about a school shooting, my first reaction was, “This could have been me.” The reason why it was never me was down to having no access to guns. Even if I had access, I still wouldn’t have shot up my school because back when I was going through the bullying hell, it was the early 1970s and school shootings were events which occurred in large inner city school as was very often gang related. Therefore, the thought of going into my school with a gun and shooting everyone in cold blood never entered my mind.
Thinking back, while I might not have thought about my school, I did used to fantasize that I was a junior police officer and had my own gun. In those fantasies, I would save the city from robberies and such where I would shoot the bad guys but those fantasies also included shooting some of the bullies when they were aggressive towards me because I was acting in self defense. So, that means the potential for me to carry out a school shooting was there, just thank God I had no guns.
Everyone has reasons why school shootings happen. Some of these are quite plausible while others are not. Access to guns is a definite contributor to why shootings happen. You can’t shoot anyone if you don’t have a gun. Bullying is another but that depends on the mind of the shooter and their idea of how bad the bullying was. Mental illness can definitely play a part. If a person has mental issues, then that person can be much more easily pushed over the edge and snap. These can all play a part as to why shootings occur. Another argument is religion being taken out of schools. That children today have no spiritual compass and if the ten commandments were hanging in every classroom, then children would be less likely to shoot up their school. Now, I am not knocking religion, I have my own beliefs there and many people have changed their lives and find great comfort and joy in finding God. But forcing it on people is more likely to have the opposite effect. In “He Was Weird,” Mark believes God is behind his school shooting from verses in the Bible in Deuteronomy, where God is commanding the Israelites to wipe the Canaanites off the face of the Earth. One could argue that the Bible drove him to kill. It didn’t but it did give him courage. However, I don’t think the music of Marilyn Manson drove anyone to kill.
I think the main contributor to school shootings is the setting of the school. The ones where the ‘weird’ kid is outcast, bullied and made to feel they don’t belong anywhere. Students and at times teachers treat such a person in a way they feel bad about themselves. In short, no one tolerates a ‘weirdo.’ What they fail to understand is that the kid might have mental problems. Like Mark, he might have Asperger’s Syndrome or DAMP or some other mental affliction. Bullying or mercilessly teasing that person or doing anything along those lines isn’t the way to go about it. People are different and because they don’t conform to your idea of what is “normal,” it doesn’t mean you exclude them or bully them or anything else. Because if that person has access to guns and snaps, well, we know what the end result of that is. Fortunately, I didn’t.
To buy He Was Weird, go to: https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1520281520&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird
“A wise man told me there’s something you should know;
The way you judge a man is to look into his soul
And you’ll soon see everything.
A voice from the past cried ‘Give peace a chance!’
He paid out a price, now he’s free at last
And imagine, we all called him a dreamer.
How many times must good men die?
How many tears will the children cry?
Before someone stops the sadness, oh stop the madness.”
“No matter how much we profile and harass and ban music, some vacant stranger out there, raised on guns, raised on hate, mind f*cked by pedophile relatives, molested by overused narcotics, smothered by successful siblings and the pressure to be perfect, will find a way to be pop star for a day and we’ll tune in and watch every time.”
Taken from his Spoken Word series.
In the early 1980s, the US Government, both state and federal used drunk driving as a reason to raise the drinking age from 18 to 21. Wouldn’t be a good idea to use school shootings as a valid reason for federal law to raise the legal age to own or possess a gun to 21? The school shooter in Florida was old enough to own an assault rifle but not old enough to buy a beer. This is not an attack on the Second Amendment. Just a thought here.
Active Shooter America Under Fire, American football, Americans, Asperger's Syndrome, Autism, Bowling for Columbine, Columbine, Florida, He Was Weird, ice hockey, Las Vegas, obsessions, Sandy Hook, school shootings, television
This is a question I have been asking myself for the past week after my post on why my book, “He Was Weird,” wouldn’t make for good television viewing on the programme, “Active Shooter-America Under Fire.” I have watched three episodes of the mentioned television show and have recorded a fourth and will watch it. Furthermore, I have read four other books about school shootings. All of this has accumulated into me wondering whether or not I have some unhealthy fascination about mass shootings.
When I read the books about school shootings, I read them out of fear of being accused of plagiarism. What I discovered while I was writing “He Was Weird,” was that there are so many books about mass shootings there, it now has its own sub-genre. A bit scary if you think about it. However, I enjoyed reading all of those books. If I had more time, I would read more books on the subject. In addition, I have watched TV documentaries about Sandy Hook and Columbine and there was the film that first introduced me to the subject of mass shootings, “Bowling for Columbine.” I also have to admit that I also enjoyed watching the film “Runaway Jury,” which is about a civil case brought on as a result of an office shooting. Reading those books and watching those programmes and films makes me think that maybe I do have a fascination about mass shootings.
If I do have a fascination with mass shootings, the question to ask is why? One reason could be that people with Asperger’s Syndrome get obsessed with a couple of interests. So, obsessed sometimes, it’s what they only think about. Throughout my life, I had interests that I was extremely fanatical about at the time. Some of these were Native American/US Cavalry wars, American football, ice hockey, World War 2, and horror movies. One could argue that mass shootings is just another topic I am interested in. But do I obsess about it? I don’t like to think I do. An argument against was that with the recent school shooting in Florida, yeah, I followed it on the news but I didn’t go out of my way to do so. I wasn’t flipping through the news channels or surfing the net to gain more knowledge about it. It was the same for Sandy Hook and Las Vegas shootings. I followed them but not religiously.
I think the reason why I am asking myself if I have such a fascination about shootings is that I fear that while I might not have one now, I might develop one in the future. Maybe writing this post is a good way to keep my thoughts in check. I know a lot of people who have metal health issues write for the same reason. Writing about it is a good way to deal with it. However, no matter how much I fret about whether or not I am developing a morbid fascination with mass shootings, the one thing that has always rang true with me about them was that whenever I learned about a school shooting taking place, my first response has always been, “This could have been me.”
to buy He Was Weird, go to: https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1519155818&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird
“I was sitting in my room thinking about everything;
Then again, I was thinking about nothing;
And my mom came in and she called my name;
I didn’t know she was there and she started screaming, “Mike, Mike!”
I asked, “What’s the matter Mom?”
She asked “What’s the matter with you?”
And I said, I’m okay, I’m just thinking.”
She said, “Don’t tell me that, you’re on drugs.”
“No, I’m okay mom, I just thinking, why don’t you get me a Pepsi?”
She said, “No, you’re on drugs!”
“I’m not on drugs, I was just thinking.”
“No, you’re not thinking, you’re on drugs! Normal people don’t argue that way!”
“Mom, will you get me a Pepsi, please?”
All I wanted was a Pepsi and she wouldn’t give it to me;
All I wanted was a Pepsi, just one Pepsi and she wouldn’t give it to me;
Just a Pepsi.”