Curse or Blessing?

My computer has been in the shop for service and repair the past week, which is why I haven’t been around much. My stepson did let me go on his computer sometimes so I was able to keep up with the blogs that I follow but I haven’t been able to post. At first, I thought this was a curse and my usual anxieties about modern technology out to make my life hell came to mind almost immediately. This is usual for me, I have this belief that when an item is manufactured, whether it’s a computer, CD, a car or anything else, that there is a design programme in said item saying that it must go wrong and not work properly if owned by me. To most people, this sounds absurd but there are times when I think this is real and the past week, it was the case with my computer.

Fortunately, this time, I was able to apply rational thought and realized that I hadn’t had my computer serviced in a few years, even though I pay a small monthly fee in case it goes wrong and it also includes a yearly service. After a brief moment of getting angry with myself for being stupid and not servicing it, I took it in and had it looked at and now it’s back and working better.

At first, I thought that being without a computer for at least a week was going to be difficult. That’s the curse part of it. However, there was a blessing in it as well. Because I haven’t been spending hours on the computer, being sidetracked by playing Age of Empires, I was able to get quite a bit of writing done. After many scribbles, I am nearly ready to type up the next chapter of my book, which I will share here when it’s done. So being without a computer has had a positive effect on my writing. Therefore, I have decided to get myself into a discipline of doing the necessities on the computer, blog posts, emails and of course checking how my Philadelphia Flyers are doing, (not too well at the moment), and then going to my scribbles for my book. See, everything has a positive.

Song Lyric Quote: Savatage- Conversation Piece

Like pieces of myself, cut up in desperation as offerings to thee;

I keep them on the shelf, they’re good for conversation, over a cup of tea.

Song Lyric Quote: Phantom, Rocker and Slick- Men Without Shame

People with angles should never tangle

With boys who kill with words

You don’t stand a chance, you’ll lose your pants

This act is for the birds

Don’t try to please ’em, don’t try to please ’em

They know the game, men without shame.

My Disillusionment With the Left- Part 1

Tags

anxiety, Asperger's Syndrome, Autism, books, crime, Karl Marx, police, Politics, vigilantes

Nice guy probably but his theory is unworkable.

First of all, I like to thank you, my readers, for comments and all the likes on my post, “I Need Motivation to Write.” That has given me the kick start I needed and once again, I have been putting pen to paper and the feeling has been rewarding. Now for the not so good side. As usual, my Asperger’s type mind has been throwing in the what ifs and while I am determined to finish my third novel by the end of this year, there are anxieties creeping into my mind, which I fear will hinder me in completing said novel.

To bring you all up to speed, the new novel I am working on will be called “The V- Network.” It’s about a group of people who are individually let down by the British justice system who go on to form a vigilante group. The let downs come in many forms. Some of them are police who go charging in and arrest the intended victim of the crime or in some cases do not do their jobs properly. In other cases, it’s down to shifty lawyers and ‘right on’ judges. However, one thing I don’t do is somehow portray the let downs in the legal system are down to those in the system being lefty, bleeding heart liberals and that’s where my anxieties come from.

The big misconception many people have about rising crime rates is that it’s all down to do-gooders and liberal attitudes. While these attitudes do play a part in the causes of crimes in the form of things like lenient sentencing, they are not the total cause. My novel could be considered as being taken from a right wing or conservative approach because the perpetrators of the crime don’t get the justice they deserve. I’m worried that I will be accused of betraying my left wing principals and that I am moving to the right because of the story-line. I’m not!

Saying that and here’s a further example of how my mind works, while I still consider myself left of centre, (on the American spectrum, that makes me a raving communist), there is a lot about the left which I have become disillusioned with. Some of their lofty ideas don’t work in the real world and I live in the real world. Well, at least most of the time anyway. The problem with me is that my mind’s filter is very weak and everything gets through and is taken into consideration. Some might say that’s a great trait being open minded and though I don’t want to go the other way, this also causes my mind to go into overload and that’s not good either.

What all this means is that for me to get my mind in order and to unburden my soul, the next several posts, in between song lyric quotes, will be dedicated to my disillusion with the left and how my mind and hopefully others can go forward from there. I hope you will all come along for the ride.

To buy He Was Weird, go to: https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1547469756&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

 

 

 

Song Lyric Quote: Riot

Tags

music, quotes, Riot, song lyrics

Swords and tequila carry me through the night

Swords and tequila carry me through the fight.

I Need Some Motivation to Write

Tags

anxiety, blogs, books, publishers, writing

Over the past few years, I have been working on my third novel. The reason why it has taken me so long and I’m only about halfway completed is that my motivation to write has been sapped. It comes and goes like the weather. I haven’t written anything in three months.

I won’t make excuses, I know the problem lies with me. My anxieties don’t help though. The main roadblock is the fact that my first two novels haven’t taken the literary world by storm. Last time I checked, they have sold less than 150 copies combined and that includes the ones I bought myself for promotional purposes. While everybody tells me not to be discouraged by that, I find that hard not to do. This is in spite of the fact that I have gotten positive feedback from people who read excerpts from what I’ve written so far. I can’t help thinking that these people are just being kind to me an that they really don’t like my writing.

Another roadblock is all of those self publishing companies who are more than happy to publish your book for the right price. I’ve done that twice and it hasn’t worked out. Plus, I have to do all the donkey work in contacting book shops, media and other people who might assist me in getting my novel out there. One has to be very confident in doing such things and with my Asperger’s fuelled fears of approaching people, I don’t have that type of confidence. Besides, I have always considered myself a writer, not a salesman.

New Year’s Resolutions are superficial and most are broken within the first month. That’s precisely why I won’t make any resolutions to write. However, I know I need to start writing again even if I don’t get published or if I do, the novel sells less than 50 copies. Many people I’ve spoken to think my topic of people let down by the justice system who form a vigilante group might be worth a read. Again, I wonder if it’s because they think like me or it’s the best of the other subjects I proposed. What I need to do is to not worry about outcomes, stop playing Age of Empires 3 in my spare time and actually put pen to paper and finish. However, a few words from you will go far in motivating me even more.

To buy He Was Weird, go to: https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1546878215&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

Song Lyric Quote: Lynyrd Skynyrd- Tomorrow’s Goodbye

Tags

Lynyrd Skynyrd, music, quotes, song lyrics

Chances come and then they’re gone

It’s carved in stone what we’ve done wrong.

So let’s take care of what we have

Before the good we know goes bad

And the beauty fades and she slips away

The dirty air, the dying seas

Can this be the world we leave?

To the wild and young,

Just look at what we’ve done

And right before our eyes,

Today’s yesterday can be tomorrow’s goodbye.