My Disillusionment With the Left- Part 1

Tags

anxiety, Asperger's Syndrome, Autism, books, crime, Karl Marx, police, Politics, vigilantes

Nice guy probably but his theory is unworkable.

First of all, I like to thank you, my readers, for comments and all the likes on my post, “I Need Motivation to Write.” That has given me the kick start I needed and once again, I have been putting pen to paper and the feeling has been rewarding. Now for the not so good side. As usual, my Asperger’s type mind has been throwing in the what ifs and while I am determined to finish my third novel by the end of this year, there are anxieties creeping into my mind, which I fear will hinder me in completing said novel.

To bring you all up to speed, the new novel I am working on will be called “The V- Network.” It’s about a group of people who are individually let down by the British justice system who go on to form a vigilante group. The let downs come in many forms. Some of them are police who go charging in and arrest the intended victim of the crime or in some cases do not do their jobs properly. In other cases, it’s down to shifty lawyers and ‘right on’ judges. However, one thing I don’t do is somehow portray the let downs in the legal system are down to those in the system being lefty, bleeding heart liberals and that’s where my anxieties come from.

The big misconception many people have about rising crime rates is that it’s all down to do-gooders and liberal attitudes. While these attitudes do play a part in the causes of crimes in the form of things like lenient sentencing, they are not the total cause. My novel could be considered as being taken from a right wing or conservative approach because the perpetrators of the crime don’t get the justice they deserve. I’m worried that I will be accused of betraying my left wing principals and that I am moving to the right because of the story-line. I’m not!

Saying that and here’s a further example of how my mind works, while I still consider myself left of centre, (on the American spectrum, that makes me a raving communist), there is a lot about the left which I have become disillusioned with. Some of their lofty ideas don’t work in the real world and I live in the real world. Well, at least most of the time anyway. The problem with me is that my mind’s filter is very weak and everything gets through and is taken into consideration. Some might say that’s a great trait being open minded and though I don’t want to go the other way, this also causes my mind to go into overload and that’s not good either.

What all this means is that for me to get my mind in order and to unburden my soul, the next several posts, in between song lyric quotes, will be dedicated to my disillusion with the left and how my mind and hopefully others can go forward from there. I hope you will all come along for the ride.

To buy He Was Weird, go to: https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1547469756&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

 

 

 

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I Need Some Motivation to Write

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anxiety, blogs, books, publishers, writing

Over the past few years, I have been working on my third novel. The reason why it has taken me so long and I’m only about halfway completed is that my motivation to write has been sapped. It comes and goes like the weather. I haven’t written anything in three months.

I won’t make excuses, I know the problem lies with me. My anxieties don’t help though. The main roadblock is the fact that my first two novels haven’t taken the literary world by storm. Last time I checked, they have sold less than 150 copies combined and that includes the ones I bought myself for promotional purposes. While everybody tells me not to be discouraged by that, I find that hard not to do. This is in spite of the fact that I have gotten positive feedback from people who read excerpts from what I’ve written so far. I can’t help thinking that these people are just being kind to me an that they really don’t like my writing.

Another roadblock is all of those self publishing companies who are more than happy to publish your book for the right price. I’ve done that twice and it hasn’t worked out. Plus, I have to do all the donkey work in contacting book shops, media and other people who might assist me in getting my novel out there. One has to be very confident in doing such things and with my Asperger’s fuelled fears of approaching people, I don’t have that type of confidence. Besides, I have always considered myself a writer, not a salesman.

New Year’s Resolutions are superficial and most are broken within the first month. That’s precisely why I won’t make any resolutions to write. However, I know I need to start writing again even if I don’t get published or if I do, the novel sells less than 50 copies. Many people I’ve spoken to think my topic of people let down by the justice system who form a vigilante group might be worth a read. Again, I wonder if it’s because they think like me or it’s the best of the other subjects I proposed. What I need to do is to not worry about outcomes, stop playing Age of Empires 3 in my spare time and actually put pen to paper and finish. However, a few words from you will go far in motivating me even more.

To buy He Was Weird, go to: https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1546878215&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

I’m Speaking Out About It Now

Tags

1970s, anxiety, Asperger's Syndrome, Autism, books, bullying, He Was Weird, mental health, Mothers, schools, sexual abuse, teachers

There is a scene in my book, “He Was Weird,” which I call the “Smiley Incident.” To bring those who haven’t read it up to speed, Smiley is a substitute PE teacher at Mark’s school. While Mark is playing basketball with his fellow students, Smiley begins calling Mark, “Coordination Plus.” Then at one point, when Mark has his back to him, Smiley pulls Mark’s shorts down thus humiliating Mark in front of his entire class resulting in him getting teased about it for the rest of the day. When he goes home after school, Mark tells his mother about the pulling down of his pants. His mother and his grandfather immediately contact the police and have Smiley arrested.

As is the case with Mark throughout the story, even though Smiley pleads guilty to indecent assault as part of a deal and is banned from working with children for five years and put on the sex offenders list for two years, it doesn’t end well for him. Fellow classmates who support Smiley take the consequences he faces for his action out on the victim. This leads to Mark being further bullied and even to physical violence because he told his parents and had Smiley sent away.

Like with so many instances of bullying mentioned in the book, this too happened to me. However, it did not happen during the three years of bullying hell which I suffered and inspired me to write “He Was Weird.” In my freshman year in high school, I did encounter a man nicknamed Smiley who volunteered as an assistant wrestling coach, I’m not totally sure of that fact, at my school. He did join in with us playing basketball at one of my PE classes and he did call me ‘Coordination Plus.’ Most importantly though, he did pull my shorts down. However, I did nothing about it. In fact, I never mentioned it until 14 years ago when I was in counselling.

Why didn’t I report it back then? Well the main answer to that is that if I had, nothing would have been done about it. Attitudes were different in 1976 and while this doesn’t excuse it, it does highlight the fact that if I had reported it to the school, Smiley would have gotten a mere slap on the wrist at most and I would have been made out to be the weak ‘pussy’ for telling on him. This was why I was so easily able to write about the reprisals on Mark in the story because I genuinely feared that would have happened to me if I had reported it. I probably would have been beaten up by the wrestling team, so I feared. That’s why I never said anything. Ironically, when working as a substitute teacher a few years back, I did tell a class of children around the same age Mark was in the story about it. They overwhelmingly stated that I should have had Smiley done. Oh, how things have changed.

For those same reasons, I have never told my mother. She passed away in March never knowing that her son had been indecently assaulted in high school. I believe at the time, if I had told her, she and my grandfather would have reacted the same way Mark’s do in the story and even though it was 1976, would have tried to have Smiley prosecuted. They probably would have succeeded in getting him banned from the school. However, my fears were that all of the above things mentioned would have still happened to me. I would have been the bad guy for reporting it, even more so because I got my mother involved and there would have been a backlash. Therefore, I never told anyone. Besides if I had brought it up to my mother years later, it would have only caused her more grief, so I’m glad I never told her.

One final reason why I am only posting about it now after all these years is down to my own Asperger’s fueled anxieties. Former abuse victims have been coming out and telling about their awful experiences and I praise them highly for doing so. That leads to another anxiety; having my shorts pulled down isn’t nearly as bad as some of the sexual abuse others have suffered. Because what I experienced isn’t horrific, I felt I had no right to talk about it. It’s only now that I do and what it has done is make me even more empathetic to those who have suffered worse things than I. Also there’s my anxiety that because people are coming out about their abuse, I will be seen as simply jumping on the bandwagon. While it might sound daft, I do hope that people don’t really think that.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

To buy He Was Weird, go to: https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1543425136&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

All Things Lead to He Was Weird

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American football, Americans, anxiety, Asperger's Syndrome, Autism, books, bullying, christianity, communication, D.A.M.P., films, friendship, Great Britain, guns, He Was Weird, ice hockey, intolerance, Marine Corps, Michael D LeFevre, Mothers, music, police, school shootings, schools, Self Esteem, social settings, teachers, teasing

My main motivation for starting Peaceful Rampage was to use it to notify people of my book, “He Was Weird,” which has been out for more than five years now. I have attracted a good number of followers, but while many have followed me because they share an interest in one area, I tend to blog about many topics which individuals may not be interested. The thing is that nearly everything I post about does in some way connect to the book. Therefore, I thought I would spend this page relating how.

Asperger’s Syndrome and Autism: This seems to be the field where I have attracted the most followers. Unlike Mark, the main character in the book, I have never been diagnosed with the condition although I am convinced that I have it. Therefore, it is great to find that there are many people who are like me. I feel part of a community and I enjoy reading posts from fellow Aspies and hope they enjoy reading mine. On the other hand, I don’t feel the need to write every post about it.

Bullying: I was a victim of horrendous bullying for three years and that was the inspiration to write “He Was Weird.” I wrote the book and this blog to reach out to other victims in the hopes that together, we can stamp out bullying and silence the ghosts of our own pasts.

School Shootings: That is how Mark finally deals with his bullying in the story. See, my bullying was so bad that whenever I read about a school shooting, my first response is, “This could have been me.” I sometimes wonder if I have a morbid fascination with mass shootings and that worries me. What I am glad is that I never had any access to guns back then.

Religion: Religion was a part of my childhood and I became a Born Again Christian at 11. As it was during the three years of bullying hell, I put it in the story and even use scripture to give Mark the courage to carry out his shooting. Nowadays, while I still believe the basics of Christianity and found that the Mormon faith was the best for me, I don’t wish to follow any organized religion. Because of my Asperger’s, I think that religion messed my head up more than everything else, most likely because I believed everything so literally. Still, I respect anyone who has religious or spiritual beliefs and can live by those beliefs.

Politics: There is not much of this in the story except at the end when the peace group Mark’s mother belongs to is infiltrated by Homeland Security. However, I have been politically aware and have been on both right and left of the political spectrum.

Music: My first book, “Rock and Roll Children” is about music so it’s always been a part of me as well. In “He Was Weird,” people try to blame Mark’s shooting on music and of course Marilyn Manson.

History: I love history and so does Mark. He becomes quite good at historical strategy games like Age of Empires. While history doesn’t  feature heavily in the book, it’s still there and it will always be a favourite topic of mine.

US-UK Relations: No I’m not talking about the ‘special relationship’ between the two countries. I am talking about the things I have observed about both countries during the second half of my life which I lived in the UK. That’s why after news of Mark’s shooting breaks, I do a BBC News report in the story. However, one thing I got wrong there is that the shooting didn’t lead the news and in reality, it would have.

Sports: I love sports, American football and ice hockey are my favourites. They are Mark’s too and like him, I had fantasies about being a great hockey player. It fits in well with the story.

There are probably smaller topics too but these are the main ones. I know not all of these will interest everyone but I hope that there is at least one that we hold your interest and make you read. However, it’s just not in my mindset to post about the same topic all the time. I just post what is in my weird mind at the time or I need to get off my chest. Keep reading as I am grateful for all who do.

To buy He Was Weird, go to: https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1541717422&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

 

 

 

 

Hey BBC! Where’s the Hype?

Tags

Americans, BBC, books, Columbine, Crimea, Great Britain, guns, He Was Weird, police, Politics, Russia, school shootings

Aftermath of Kerch College Shooting in the Crimea

On Wednesday October 17, a seventeen year old boy went into his school with a shot gun opening fire on his fellow students killing nineteen and wounding about forty before turning the gun on himself. Sources at the school say that the gunman was self contained, didn’t speak very much, left social media and hated the school he went to as well as vowing revenge on his teachers.

The shooting had all the hallmarks of Columbine which has fathered many more copy cat shootings in the United States over the past two decades. Here’s the funny thing: This recent gun tragedy didn’t take place in the United States, not even close! It occurred in Crimea which is part of the territory being disputed by Russia and the Ukraine. One would have thought that the fact that this shooting took place outside of America, the media frenzy would have been all over it. Sadly, it was not the case.

Whenever a school shooting happens in the USA, the British media, especially the BBC, is all over it. Ten to fifteen minutes of a half hour newscast will be spent talking about the most recent American tragedy. Additionally, there is widespread condemnation of the American gun culture. However, there was none of this when the Crimea shooting was reported on the BBC news. (I first heard about it listening to BBC Radio 2 whilst driving.) What I heard was a brief two minute report on the shooting and the facts. No hyped up lamentations about Russia and it’s gun culture or how a teenage boy got access to a shot gun, nothing of that sort at all.

It beggars belief that the BBC didn’t report more on this recent shooting. The similarities to this shooting and all the ones which have happened in America are just too frighteningly similar. We have a loner, disassociated with his peers and teachers, who feels the world doesn’t understand him and his only option is mass violence. Most important and again not highlighted by the BBC, was the fact that this boy had access to a shot gun and enough ammunition to carry out his deed. Yet, there has been no talk of any gun culture in Russia. No one saying that Russia needs to ban guns, nothing.

We need to face facts, what happens in the US eventually makes its way around the rest of the world. I firmly believe that this is only the first of many school shootings to come outside of the US, though I really hope I’m wrong about this. Every shooting needs to be treated as the tragedy it is no matter where it happens. The people of the world should get together and call not just for banning guns in America but everywhere else too. Here’s my final thought: If the US would ban guns, maybe the rest of the world would want to get rid of theirs too.

To buy He Was Weird, go to: https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1539974802&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

 

 

Maybe I Should Just Quit

Tags

American football, anxiety, Asperger's Syndrome, Autism, baseball, books, He Was Weird, sports

The LA Dodgers

Often there are times when we all feel this way, that we should just quit. It could be school, a job, a sports team, a band or any number of things. Quitting does often relieve the stress that comes with whatever the quitter is doing at the time. That no longer have to do the thing which was causing hardship in your life can often be a major release. However, while quitting might rid one of the short term stress, it often doesn’t solve the problem and can create more.

The option of quitting something came upon me two days ago. Twice a year, I organize a softball tournament in my hometown where teams from all over Britain come to play. Yes, they do play softball in the UK. For the most part, the tournament was a big success but there was a few issues as well. During the sixteen years I have been running the tournament, there has been very few injuries. This last one, however, was like a combat zone. There were at least six possibly serious injuries, including three people getting hit on the head with a ball and one more in the mouth as well as a very worrying ankle injury. To make matters worse, even though I am a qualified first aider, (I saw my certificate today), I froze when the injuries happened and my Asperger’s kicked in because there were more injuries on this day than all the tournaments going back 16 years combined. Plus, the first aid kit I kept in my car wasn’t there when I needed it. At the tournament’s conclusion, a couple of the umpires expressed their dissatisfaction at the way the injuries were handled and are going to report it to the British Softball Federation. While, I have been told not to worry about that too much it only makes me worry more. After, all I have Asperger’s and things like this play hell with my anxieties.

To further fuel the flames, the following day I received an email from the manager of the venue where the tournaments are held stating that there was a lot of litter left behind. He also made a very good point that the tournament was played by adults so there was no excuse for there to be so much litter after. I have to agree with it but the ultimately, the responsibility lies with me as the organizer. My big worry here is that he might not allow the tournaments at the venue any more and there is no real suitable place in the area to hold it. At best, there is one place but that venue is only capable of putting three diamonds on it as opposed to the four I normally have and teams will be playing on a incline. So, it’s easy to see why I don’t want to lose the venue.

As a result, I have thought of simply falling on my sword and stepping down as the tournament organizer. I even have a logical argument that I can still assist with the tournament in a support role in many ways. Not having to organize and be responsible for it would relieve many anxieties. However, if I was to quit, I don’t think anyone would be willing to take over and the tournaments would end. I also believe that many softball players would be disappointed if the tournament went away, just for the sake of getting to play more softball if nothing else. The main reason that keeps me from simply quitting is because like my post about suicide a few weeks back, I see quitting as taking the coward’s way out. I would be quitting just because a couple of things didn’t go right and not facing those challenges.

At the moment, I don’t intend to step down. Saying that, my anxieties are such that I worry that anyone who knows me through softball who reads this is going to accuse me of trying to get sympathy from everybody. That’s not the case, besides, with my experience, it would probably have the reverse effect and everyone would be telling me to quit. No, the best thing here is to learn from my mistakes and soldier on. I already have ideas for addressing the problems.

Shameless tie in with my book, “He Was Weird:” In the story Mark quits the football team because he doesn’t get to play even when his team wins 24-0. His heart was no longer in the game anyway and like my own experience which this story line is based on, quitting the team leads to further bullying from his former teammates.

To buy He Was Weird, go to: https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1539210927&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

Back From Client Holiday

Tags

Asperger's Syndrome, Autism, books, Great Britain, holidays, Minehead

These past few days, I went on a client holiday to Minehead with a service user named Jerry. We went there last year and stayed at the same holiday home. Like last year, things were very laid back and it did give me some inspiration and motivation for writing my next short story.

We were only there two days but we managed to pack a lot into them. We went on the cliff train at Lynmouth and also rode the steam train the entire length this time. Here are some pictures, enjoy.

Lynmouth Harbour from the cliff train.

The fog coming off the hills

The cliff side train.

Watchet Harbour from the steam train.

 

 

 

Help! I’m Self Harming

Tags

anxiety, Asperger's Syndrome, Autism, books, bullying, He Was Weird, self-harming

This may be the hardest post I ever write. While some may already be congratulating me for being brave in coming forward to admit I am self-harming, I am wary that it may be brushed aside as many will not consider it serious. In some people’s definition of the term, my self-harming isn’t anything that might cause serious injury. I’m not cutting or burning myself, although the other evening, I did think about slamming my finger in a door. And that brings me to my point, I am self harming.

What I am doing is whenever I make what I call a ‘stupid mistake,’ I respond by punching myself in the head. My logic being I did something stupid, I deserve a punch. When I’m typing on the computer, I slap my hand when I make too many typing mistakes. As for the finger in the door thought, I wanted to do that because I opened a spam email when I wanted to delete it. On the grand scale of things, I know that this isn’t serious to most people nor is it life threatening. However, under the definition, what I am doing is self harm.

Now you may be asking, “Why don’t you just not punch yourself in the head?” I wish it was that easy. The punches to the head usually come from out of nowhere, I’m not actually thinking of doing it, it comes as a reaction from the perceived stupid mistake I just made. What adds more fuel to the fire is that my Asperger’s mind is overloaded because of my mistake and it getting in the way of what I’m trying to accomplish. Therefore, any inward voice telling me not to punch myself is muted. I just simply am not thinking rationally at that second due to mental overload.

Naturally, I want to stop this behaviour, especially as there has been a sharp increase in the number of occurrences in the past year. Some might say I am being ridiculous here but I can’t help thinking that if I continue to self harm in this manner for more years, I will eventually end up like Muhammad Ali. That might be the far extreme but what I do know is that this self-harming isn’t good for me and I need to stop it. Saying just don’t do it doesn’t work. I need some other types of advice to get me to stop.

Shameless plug for “He Was Weird:” When writing the story, I did toy with the idea of making Mark a self-harmer but it didn’t fit into the story. Besides, I didn’t self harm that much when I was younger. Furthermore, in the reality of the time, if Mark did self harm in the story, his bullies would have tormented him more so they could watch him do it.

To buy He Was Weird, go to: https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1537212231&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

 

The Coward’s Way Out

Tags

anxiety, Asperger's Syndrome, Autism, books, He Was Weird, labels, mental health, stereotypes, suicide

Today’s title is what many people, sometimes myself included, call suicide. They claim if a person wants to kill themselves, they are taking the coward’s way out. However, I also believe that this is just a lazy label from persons who don’t want to deal with the subject. It is unfair to say that a person who wishes to end it all is simply taking the coward’s way out because no one, other than that person themselves, knows what’s going on in his or her head and that things have become so bad for them that they see there’s no other way out.

I’ve been here myself. The first time was when I was nine and one occasion, I actually did stab myself. Fortunately for me at the time, my sister had brought me a butter knife, which couldn’t do the job properly, actually, not at all. Looking back, my mother and then step father saw the whole thing as funny and told me not to be so stupid by wanting to stab myself. Back then, we’re going back nearly half a century, mental health was something to be embarrassed about, especially in the middle class suburban neighbourhood I was living in at the time. Therefore, I wasn’t given the help I most likely needed.

Over the years since, there have been other times when I thought of or threatened to commit suicide. Looking back at those situations, those were probably cries for help or attempts to elicit sympathy. I got to be careful here because I know that this isn’t the case for everybody. The irony here is that during the three years of bullying hell which inspired me to write “He Was Weird,” I never thought of committing suicide. It could have been that I thought someday, I would move out of that town, which I eventually did. Seeing another way out definitely removes any thoughts of ending it all.

In our millennial year, that all changed. My world came crumbling down all around me in several ways and I believed it was all down to me. I thought that I simply screwed everything up and maybe the world was better off if I wasn’t around to wreck things. Besides, people around me seemed to be getting on fine without me and that gave me even more incentive to end it all. Nobody wanted me around anyway so maybe I should make it that I wasn’t. I had even chosen the method, hooking up a hose to my car’s exhaust and killing myself with carbon monoxide poisoning. Furthermore, I vetoed my idea of having music playing in the car at the time because I didn’t want anyone to say that music caused my suicide. What made me hesitate, however, was my belief that I would be taking the coward’s way out. That hesitation made it possible to get a last minute phone call from the person who I thought had pushed me over the edge and it was that call which brought me back. I don’t think that person ever realized it but they might have actually saved my life.

Not everything was peaches and cream after though. It was a struggle but fortunately, I had a network which provided short term help and sound advice which benefited me greatly. That is why when similar feelings came around again a few years later, I recognized it and that time, I ignored certain stereotypes and put myself into counselling. Probably one of the best decisions I had ever made in my life!

My conclusion from all of this is that while the notion that suicide is taking the coward’s way out might have saved my life, it isn’t a true notion for everyone. Some might argue that a person who wants to take their own life is actually brave by carrying out. That’s not my point. We can’t see into another person’s mind nor truly feel the anguish they might be experiencing at the moment or what events from their past might have contributed to their decision. What everyone needs to be is more supportive and understanding and take mental health much more seriously.

To buy He Was Weird, go to: https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1536566786&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

Dodgy Tackle: The Conclusion

Tags

books, crime, Great Britain, soccer, sports

A few months later, Andy had settled back into anonymity, glad that his fifteen minutes of fame were well and truly over. He gave little thought to the fact one evening when he met a friend at a pub less than half a mile from White Hart Lane. He and his friend spent several hours in relaxed conversation, downing four pints each over the time. Therefore, he never clocked the five lads sitting in the corner looking over and pointing at him. It was also the reason why he didn’t notice those same men follow him out when he left the pub.

Having gone a few hundred metres and in sight of the tube station, five men caught up to and surrounded him. Seeing he was severely outnumbered, Andy quickly pleaded, “Look, I don’t want any trouble.”

The shortest of the five, who was a good seven inches shorter than Andy, retorted, “Oh you got trouble, mate! We know you’re the guy who fouled Felipe Fonsecca.”

“We told you we’d get you,” another one affirmed. “We’re the White Hart Lane Firm.”

Thinking quickly, Andy offered up, “Look, I apologised to Fonsecca and besides, I’ve retired from football.”

“That’s not good enough,” the short one snapped. “You thought you’d be a hero to all the birds because they didn’t want him playing after he shagged some slapper who then cried rape.”

Andy realised that whatever he said would not make any difference to this mob. So, he did the only thing possible; he attacked. Picking out the largest of the five, he landed a right cross on the target’s jaw, knocking him back and temporarily stunning him. Unfortunately that would be his only offensive move because unbeknown to him, one of the other four had secretly readied a lead pipe which he viciously clubbed Andy on the back with sending him forward and giving the others time to surround him and unleash a barrage of punched and kicks. After a few minutes and their victim sufficiently weakened, four of the mob grabbed Andy and held him still so the man with the pipe could smash his kneecap. When that was accomplished, the mob left their prey in a heap on the ground, barely conscious.

He was in hospital for three days before the local police came to interview him about the attack. Andy did his best to tell what happened and confessed that the attack was because of his foul on Fonsecca. One officer seemed sympathetic but his partner commented, “I thought you should have been charged for that tackle.” Andy also mentioned the threats he got from the White Hart Lane Firm. The two officers took everything down and informed him that they would be in touch.

During his five week stay in hospital, the police only returned twice. The first time, they brought their file of known members of the White Hart Lane Firm, which Andy identified the short guy. The second time was to inform him that the short guy had an alibi. He also learned that the police blocked the re-dramatisation of his attack on “Crimewatch” on the grounds that Andy’s notoriety may do more harm than good. That meant that when Andy finally did leave the hospital, there seemed little chance of his attackers ever being brought to justice. He now realised that while he never should have fouled Fonsecca the way he did but he didn’t deserve any of this.