A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.
Last week, after watching a presentation on Facebook on how in the US, you have to be 21 to drink alcohol and 25 to rent a car, but you can buy a gun at 18, I stated that I found this aspect about America rather embarrassing. Note: I am NOT embarrassed to be American and I love the country I was born in. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have jumped through flaming hoops at the US Embassy in London to keep my American citizenship when I naturalized as a British citizen back in 1990. I’m digressing as usual but I pointed this out on that Facebook presentation and I got a lot of stick from right and left about it.
Naturally, I got the predictable redneck responses telling me that I was embarrassing and to move to Canada. It’s a bit late for me to do that. The main theme of responses was that owning a gun is a constitutional right while drinking a beer isn’t. One person pointed out that children have been using guns since guns were invented. My response is: Does that make it okay? As I told people on that meme, I am not for repealing the Second Amendment, which gives Americans to right to keep and bear arms. However, because it’s a constitutional right doesn’t mean it’s a good thing. Look at the fact that there have been ten mass shootings across the US over the past weekend. That is why I stick by my belief that the age of gun ownership should be 21 unless you serve or have served in the armed forces. Then it should be 18. After all, the US military is a well regulated militia and in my view, my belief does not conflict the the Second Amendment.
Of all the insults hurled at me, the biggest one came from the left where one stated “Brilliant Einstein.” This person wrongly thought that I wanted to lower the drinking age to 18 so young adults ages 18-20 could get drunk and go out and buy a gun. I pointed out that I wanted the opposite, the gun age raised to 21 but he didn’t come back on that one.
It’s very tempting for me to go off on a tangent about the gun debate and I could easily do so. The point I want to make is that even with a hot potato topic such as guns, where there are many differing opinions, we should be able to state our case without any patronizing, name calling or just plain abuse. The problem with social media is that there is a cloak of anonymity about it. Chicken shits can be as abusive as they want and say things to people they wouldn’t dare say in public and get away with it. I think that is wrong. Here on Peaceful Rampage and on my other blog, 80smetalman, I welcome everyone to voice their opinion, even if it’s unpopular or even illogical. You can start here if you like.
Shameless link to my book: There are instances in “He Was Weird” where Mark does offer an unpopular opinion or a point of knowledge and the bullies come down on him for it. Since the book is linked to my own experiences, it is one reason why I feel so strongly about it. No one should be attacked for putting forth an opinion or point of knowledge.
Rachele Hambleton and her 12 year old daughter Betsy
One question I think many parents grapple with is when should they stop intervening on their children’s behalf. As a parent myself, I have also grappled with this question. It is even more of a battle when the child is being bullied. I know, I have been on both sides of this issue as a target and a parent of one. So, the big question is: when should parents stop fighting their children’s battles?
As a parent, we want to do what is best for our kids. My mother was no different. I am sure that when I was going through that bullying hell, she went through one of her own, wondering whether or not she should come to my rescue from the bullies. There were times I told her about the bullying but she wouldn’t do anything. Probably as a means to get me to stand up for myself, but with my Asperger’s, I wasn’t sure how. I ponder that it might be the guilt from that era which was why she picked up the cudgels on my behalf on two occasions in my adult life. The first time was when I was in the Marines, when I discovered an ex girlfriend had been cheating on me the whole time I was away serving my country. Mother phoned this girl and told her a few home truths and what a mess she was. The second time was in my early forties where after a big row with my ex wife, she emailed my ex saying she was a spoilt brat.
I never asked nor expected my mother to do this for me but inwardly, I was glad. Of course, I got stick from both exes for getting my mother to fight my battles for me. My ex girlfriend tried to make out that it happened more than once but I know it wasn’t the case. Though she did say to one of my friends, “When you see Mike, tell him to stop getting his mother to do his dirty work for him.” Like I stated above, I had no idea my mother had done this until three days after the event.
Back to bullies and no parent wants their child to be bullied. However, parents deal with it differently. My mother’s long term boyfriend, who I drew some inspiration for the Ted character in “He Was Weird,” said that if his sons came in saying they were being picked on, he’d pick on them. This is a misguided attempt to toughen boys but it doesn’t work. In most cases, bullied boys won’t tell of any bullying because they fear worse consequences from their father. Victim blaming was rife back then.
With that said, there is a more important reason why targets won’t tell their parents they are being bullied. It’s a backlash from the bullies themselves. After what I called ‘The Episode’ in “He Was Weird,” actually happened, my mother did say, “Enough is enough” and went into the school to sort it out. While justice was served, the one bully, the one who influenced the David Fitzpatrick character, used it against me. Not long after, I had many bullies calling me a baby for getting my mother involved. While, the bullying took short break, it came back stronger with some bullies using the fact I might tell my mommy to get at me more.
It’s no secret that bullies will use any means at their disposal to get at the target. In the case of parental involvement, the target is made out to be a wimp for getting his mommy in and of course, people would side with the bully. This is another way of discouraging the target to fight back against the bullying. It also had an effect on me a few years later. In “He Was Weird,” there is an incident which I have nicknamed, ‘The Smiley Incident.’ Smiley is the nickname of the adult who pulls the Mark’s shorts down in a PE lesson. In the book, it is reported and Smiley is dealt with by the law but Mark is subjected to further bullying because he had Smiley fired and arrested.
This did actually happen to me two years later when I was a Freshman in high school. Someone actually nicknamed Smiley pulled my shorts down but because of the bullying from a few years earlier and the perceived backlash if I had reported it, I never did.
These days, parents are more willing to take action when their child is being bullied and thankfully, schools will take the bullying more seriously. Saying that, there is still a long long way to go in regards to this and parents and schools still have to do their part in stopping bullying.
Last week, Cherie White wrote and posted this poem on her blog, Chateau Cherie. I was so moved by it that I asked her permission and am sharing it with you now.
Don’t apologize for being who you are. You’re just the way God made you.
Don’t be sorry for being a woman, a man, your race, nor having brown hair, blonde hair, blue or brown eyes. For those are the things that make you you. Be happy and secure with it.
Don’t apologize for being a Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, nor for holding certain values- for valuing your god and family. For those are the things you hold dear.
Refuse to be sorry for wrongdoings committed by others. You cannot control others’ actions, nor should you be expected to pay for their sins. That is between them and God, and they’ll be judged for it one day.
You’re not responsible for any sins other than your own.
When I wrote the joint post with Chateau Cherie about a month ago, I had an very interesting response from one reader. Before I talk about the response, let me refresh your memory or if you are a new visitor, give you a rundown of that post. Cherie and I were both targets of bullying when we were much younger and have written books about it. Since our bullying occurred more than thirty years ago, (fifty for me), we wrote a post about what our bullies would say these days about our books and if we called them out on it. We both believed that our bullies would remain unrepentant and would still see their bullying as something to be proud of. You can read the post here:
There was a good bit of response to the post but it was one in particular who is inspiring today’s post. The responder pointed out that some bullies are actually ashamed of the harm they had caused with their bullying. However, they may be afraid to come forward and admit they were wrong. He even shared an experience of when he bullied his brother leaving him feeling hurt for many years. He did apologize for the harm he caused to his brother. It could be a fear of a backlash from the former target or just the shame in knowing they were such a bully.
Those responses has given me food for thought over the past few weeks. What if the bullies who made my life hell during the three years I lived in Margate, New Jersey were actually sorry? Would they be willing to admit it and apologize? While my memories from the bullying experiences make me skeptical, I also believe that nothing is impossible.
Even now, skepticism abounds within me. I fear that they may only be sorry because of the anti-bullying backlash which is becoming more widespread. The town would openly apologize for all of the harm caused and even go as far as giving me some sort of official certificate declaring their heartfelt sorrow. While, I would graciously accept their apologies, my mind questions their motives. They might think that making this open gesture will shut me up, not that there’s any need for that. I said my piece when I wrote “He Was Weird.” Basically, the town would be putting on a good show for the media but I wonder if down deep, they were still resentful.
Now I know that I shouldn’t look deeper into things but that’s an effect bullying has. It leaves the targets to question the bully’s motives, despite how genuine the bully may appear. Saying that, if anyone from that town did apologize, I would accept it wholeheartedly. My hate was released when I wrote the book so there’s no need for me to have any now.
Unless you’ve been living on Pluto over the past week, you would have undoubtedly heard about actor Will Smith slapping comedian Chris Rock when Mr. Rock made a comment about Smith’s wife Jada who has cut her hair very short because she suffers from alopecia. My question about this incident is: Was Will Smith being a bully or was he simply coming to the defense of his wife? Whoever wrote this letter to the Berkshire Gazette, (I am assuming it is Berkshire, England), definitely has a strong opinion on the matter.
Letter: Will Smith sets an example for bullies
Mar 30, 2022
To the editor: My congrats to Will Smith for setting such a fine example to children on how to deal constructively with angry feelings.
Him being a father and all, how can you not give him credit for that? If school bullying becomes more of a problem, don’t be surprised if Smith’s physical assault on Chris Rock at the Oscars is an inspiration, including Rock’s refusal to press charges.
Rock shouldn’t have shot his mouth off about Jada Smith like he did. At the same time, assault is assault. Slapping, punching, pushing, shoving — all assault. Will Smith’s actions were illegal. Him being a movie star makes it no less true. He should be arrested, charged and jailed.
Here’s the issue as far as I’m concerned. For generations upon generations, boys have been taught that the best way to get what they want in life is by using their fists. Many bullies adopt this philosophy and use it to the utmost when they bully. Therefore, it can be said that Smith was being the bully when he slapped Rock for his comments. In line with the above letter, it does send a message to children that violence is the way to solve things.
On the other hand, it is understandable that Smith was coming to the defense of his wife. It is no secret that Rock’s comments were totally out of order. Therefore, some will say that Smith was being chivalrous and not a bully. I can see the point here. My wife suffers from male pattern baldness and has found it easier to shave off all of her hair. She has been completely bald for five years. No one has ever said anything derogatory or insulting to her about it but if someone did, I might be tempted to act in similar fashion to Smith. However, I also know that any punk would not be worth risking arrest and all the implications which go with it but that wouldn’t stop me from voicing my disapproval at any comments. I would inform them of her condition and making comments about it isn’t right.
Here’s my conclusion. The slapping was a one-off incident and not bullying. I don’t think Will Smith will go around slapping Chris Rock again, nor will he use it as a threat in the future. That would make it bullying! Saying that, it does send a message to bullies that violence is the answer when it’s not.
On a lighter note: I am also sharing this piece on how the Houston police drove a boy who suffers from cerebral palsy to school after he was pushed out of his wheelchair by bullies because the boy dressed up for Career’s Day as a police officer. Well done to the Houston police. Please watch the video as it is a very heartwarming story.
Today’s post is a collaboration with Cherie White, whose book “From Victim to Victor” I reviewed a few weeks back. Cherie and I had similar experiences with bullying and we both overcame and have gone onto lead good lives. Since our bullying experiences were several decades ago, we discussed what might our bullies would say now if they had found out that we were talking about them and their bullying of us. I present now Cherie’s and my thoughts on the subject.
It’s been half a century since I lived in the town where I was so badly bullied for three years. I have no interest in the town nor would I care to see anyone from it, even those who I considered friends. In reality, I don’t think they would remember me and that’s the first point. If they found out that I was talking about them and how much they bullied me, they would complain that I was bringing up something which they had forgotten a long time ago and that I should let it go. On the other hand, some of those would find it amusing that their bullying still burns in my memory. They would take some comfort in the misbelief that their bullying was still tormenting me some fifty years later. Here’s some of the things they would say and my counter to them.
1. Why are you bringing up something that happened 50 years ago?
80smetalman says: It’s easy for a bully to move on but not quite so easy for the target to do the same. The psychological damage caused by bullying can last for many years after the event. If not controlled, it can effect the target’s confidence for a long time. While the memories do eventually fade, they won’t totally go away. In my case, I didn’t drive the final nail into that coffin until I wrote my book, “He Was Weird” nine years ago.
Chateau Cherie says: I agree- it’s much easier for bullies to move on than it is for the target. And the psychological damage can last a lifetime. However, I refuse to let my bullies live in my head rent free. Therefore, I chose to take something bad that happened to me and turn it into good. When I wrote and published my book, “From Victim to Victor: A Survivor’s True Story of Her Experiences with School Bullying,” I got to say what I really wanted to say all those years ago but couldn’t because I had allowed my classmates to silence me. And, let me tell you, it was a healing power like no other! Because the book was my mouthpiece!
2. We had forgotten about you until you brought this up.
80smetalman says: Again, it’s much easier for the bully to forget than it is for the target, and I believe that most of my bullies would have forgotten about it and probably forgotten about me. However, as the target, I will not forget the bullying I suffered back then. On the positive, I have been able to put it behind me and move on achieving great things in my life.
Chateau Cherie says: Absolutely. Bullying is in the eye of the target, never the bullies. When I wrote and published FVTV, and when a few of my classmates read it, I receive a huge amount of backlash from them, as was already expected. I got threatening emails and messages, they accused me of lying about everything. There were other remarks as well, telling me to “get over it,” and that they “were going to meet me in a back alley somewhere one day.” It’s funny how my bullies really exposed themselves once I spoke out. And in threatening and attacking me like they did, they only proved that everything I’d written in the book was true all along. Don’t you just love it when the masks begin to fall off?
3. You’re still a pussy whining about it.
80smetalman says: Actually, people have said the exact opposite. That I am brave for speaking out about it. Already, I can hear in my mind those bullies trying to be sarcastic about the last statement, but the truth is that I do think I am brave for coming forward. Bullies thrive on the notion that their targets will never speak up about it. Therefore, doing just that gets them all in a twist.
Chateau Cherie says: Yep! I got that reaction too, only slightly different. They told me that I must be crazy for bringing up old stuff. And the classmates who made this statement never denied what they did. But I can tell you that everyone outside of the Oakley HS crowd told me that they admired my strength and bravery for speaking out about the abuse I suffered at the hands of my classmates. Therefore, I don’t let my former bullies’ attacks bother me. I have a huge number of supporters and that, in itself, makes anything my classmates have to say irrelevant. My bullies counted on me to be silent and keep their dirty little secrets and when I finally began speaking out, that’s when the floodgates of hell opened and they unleashed their vitriol once again, 30 years later. It only goes to show that bullies seldom change, they only grow bigger and get worse as they get older. I don’t hate my classmates, but I do pity them. It takes some miserable people leading pretty miserable and boring lives to take pleasure in inflicting such abuse on another human being.
4. I had that effect on you that you still can’t shake it 50 years on, I must be good.
80smetalman says: No, you were just a bully. Bullies wear their bullying as some sort of badge of honour and many of mine would take pride in the thought that their bullying was still getting to me. If they want to think their bullying was something to be proud of, then they are the sad ones. I have shaken it off for good when I wrote my book.
Chateau Cherie says: I couldn’t agree more! Bullies are the worst kind of pathetic. My bullies from Oakley, Tennessee would love to think that they are still living inside my head. But nothing could be further from the truth. And yes, many of them still pat themselves on the back for the evil they did year ago. However, they’re not smart enough to realize that, people like them- bullies- are a pitiful bunch. People bully because they cannot get what they want in life by any other way than by force. When someone has to use force to get their wants and needs satisfied, it speaks volumes about them. It says that this person has no communication skills, no people skills, and no persuasion skills. It also says that this person is only compensating for the qualities they lack and for their own flaws and shortcomings. That’s a pretty sad and miserable person in my book, and they are to be pitied.
5.You’re just using your so-called Asperger’s as an excuse for all the weird things you did and now you want us to feel sorry for you.
80smetalman says: The other excuse the bullies would use was that Asperger’s wasn’t around back then, so they didn’t know better. Now that they do, they can realize that my ‘weird’ behaviour was down to a mental health condition, their bullying wasn’t ever going to cure it. Furthermore, I don’t want their sympathy, I have been without it for 50 years now so their ‘feeling sorry’ for me wouldn’t be any good now.
Chateau Cherie says: I’m neurotypical and don’t have ASD. However, my bullies did accuse me of being mentally imbalanced anytime I stood up to them. And they would probably say something to the effect of, “we have no sympathy for the mentally ill.” And like you, I don’t want their pity. I’d much rather have them hate me than to pity me because there’s dignity in being hated. But there’s no dignity at all in being pitied.
6. We inspired you to write a book, you should thank us.
80smetalman says: No you didn’t. What you inspired me to do was to clean the final skeleton of the many you put there out of the closet inside my brain. If you don’t remember, I had a very fertile imagination and I am getting ideas for stories coming into all the time. So, I should thank you because you making my life a total misery gave me inspiration? No, I shouldn’t have had that sort of ‘inspiration’ to begin with.
Chateau Cherie says: My bullies would say the same. I guess I would say something differently. I’d tell my bullies, “Yes, you did! You also inspired me to advocate for the very people that people like you seek to destroy.
You inspired me to speak out about the evil you did and to call every one of you out for your stupidity. You inspired me to take the lemons you give me and make lemonade. So, thank you. In trying to tear me down, you ended up building me up. And I’d say it with sarcasm and a smirk. And it would really take the wind out of their sails.
Michael’s Conclusion:
The easiest thing to say is that I should forgive, forget and move on, well I have. Those bullies will never realize the harm they did to me during those three years but if they were to find out that I called them out on it, the vast majority of them would react in the ways I’ve have stated here. However, there may be one or two who would actually apologize. To be blunt, bullying wrecks lives and that can have a lasting effect many years down the line. I write this not for me but as a warning to present day bullies and to let targets know that life can get better and that you can rise above the crap and lead a good life.
Cherie’s Conclusion:
I have forgiven my bullies but I’ll never forget. Because if we forget, we’re likely to continue suffering the same treatment from other bullies. In other words, I hold no grudges nor ill will toward my former bullies. I wish them well. But I’ll never be able to trust them and, therefore, would rather sever all ties and move on with my life. It’s the safest way and I can ensure that everyone on both sides are happy.
I can say that a couple of my former bullies have apologized and for that, I’m grateful. The vast majority of them have not apologised and that’s okay. Many of them still hold the same resentment of me today as they did thirty plus years ago. Again, that’s okay. They are the ones who must live with themselves and with their anger and hatred. It’s their issue, not mine.
I agree with Michael that bullying does indeed wreck lives and it can stay with the target for the rest of their lives if they don’t educate themselves about the bully mindset, put in the inner work to get their confidence back and create enough positive experiences in their adulthood to balance out the negative experiences they had with bullies as a child or teen.
Bullying is traumatic for the target and the aftereffects of it can last for decades. However, I want targets to be assured that, life gets better…much better! There is life after bullying and you can begin to flourish and move on to a life filled with love, success, peace, and happiness. I’m living proof of this. And if I can do it, anyone can.
If you’re a target or survivor of bullying, always believe in yourself no matter what! Love and accept your flaws and imperfections, for we all have them. And love yourself for all that you are. Know that you have value and that you matter! You are enough!
Recently, I had a review of my book, “He Was Weird” on the blog Chateau Cherie. I would personally like to thank Cherie White for all of her comments.
Michael D. LeFevre, better know to the blog community as “80smetalman” has a book out entitled, “He Was Weird.” It took me a while, but I finally purchased it and, let me tell you, I’m so glad I ordered and read this book! The novel was engaging, engrossing, and very difficult to put down. It is an emotional roller coaster and will keep you on the edge of your seat.
“He Was Weird” is a fictional account of the bullying Michael suffered at the hands of his classmates during his time in school during the 70’s, only the story is set in the present day with fictional characters.
The protagonist is a boy named Marvin Leversee (later Mark Leversee, after his mother has his first name legally changed) who is found later to have Asperger’s Syndrome and DAMP (Deficits in Attention, Motor control and Perception), neurological disorders that, sadly, mark him as ripe for psychological torment at the hands of his classmates.
It seems that this poor kid can’t catch a break. The bullying he suffers quickly becomes a vicious pattern that escalates so much so that he can’t so much as blink without being ridiculed, name-called, and physically beaten. The poor young man also endures bullying from teachers and school staff as well.
Day by day, Mark endures this horrific abuse and his cries go ignored as most of the adults, school, and local police look the other way until the worst and unexpected happens.
The pressure and rage inside Mark builds to a horrific climax that shakes the entire town of Ramsgate, NJ and Mark finally gets their attention. This culmination of events also pits adults and kids who were once close friends against each other- turning once lifelong friendships into bitter enmity.
My heart goes out to Michael for all he endured during school and I support him one hundred percent! The character of Mark represents Michael and the emotions he felt during the years he was bullied, though Michael’s real-life outcome was much better than that of Mark.
This is a book I highly recommend for not only targets of bullying and their families, but everyone. You will get a targets-eye account of what it’s like to be the object of vicious bullies with no reprieve in sight. You will also get a front row seat to what can happen when a target is pushed too far and finally snaps.
“He Was Weird” is available on Amazon and other online bookstores. Order your copy today!
As I promised a few weeks earlier, I am writing my review on Cherie White’s book, “From Victim to Victor.” It’s an account of how the author endured years of horrific bullying and eventually overcame it and has gone on to lead a full and glorious life. As I read the book, Cherie’s experiences had me reflecting back to my own bullying experiences and comparing and contrasting them. Her well written, no holds bared account was very eye opening and very honest. While she was the target of such awful bullying, she doesn’t try to play the victim card and expect you just to give her sympathy but she does earn it!
Like Cherie, the bullies came out for me on the first day I started school in my new town. It seems neither of our towns were tolerant of new arrivals. I was immediately branded weird while without even getting to know her, Cherie was thought of as thinking she was better than everyone else. It was clear in the book that it wasn’t the case. Another similarity is that the bullying didn’t always end when we left school. Cherie’s happened on the school bus while in my case, I was targeted while walking home from school. Another similarity is that we eventually found someone lower down to unload our frustrations on. We sometimes were the bullies and fair play to the author here, she doesn’t try to justify it or sugar coat it in any way. This has given me thoughts for a future post but this isn’t about that.
Our schools showed little or no interest in our plights. However, while teachers at my school showed feigned some interest in what I was going through, although they were quick to believe the bully’s version of events over mine, teachers and the principal at her school blamed her for the bullying she was suffering. While I had some instances of victim blaming, she had it all the time. This includes parents. My mother thought my bullying was my fault because I didn’t fight back but Cherie was afraid to even speak to her parents about it as she felt it would have been worse for her. It eventually became that way for me.
Cherie White
Not that they weren’t there already but my sympathies were totally with Cherie at the end when she moved out of the town where she was so badly bullied. When I moved out of the town, I had no more connection with anyone living there. I think they were just as glad to see me go as I was to leave. And for both of us, our lives drastically improved when we got to our new towns. Our grades improved and Cherie was able to use her singing talents while I made the basketball and baseball teams. Unfortunately for her, the bullies caught up with her. First, she was accused by residents of her former town of destroying the high school. Then she was called up by some of those bullies and threatened with violence and even death. Thank God, I didn’t have that and that is why Cherie is a true victor!
In conclusion, I will go out on a limb and declare Cherie White’s book, “From Victim to Victor,” the Bible for anyone who has been involved in bullying in any way. Whether you have been a target of bullying, a parent of the target, a teacher or other school official or even a bully, then this is a must read for you. I know that the experiences of the author with stop and make you think, it did me. However, the best message this book can send is that even if you are being bullied, it’s not forever and you can overcome and go onto lead a full life. You can overcome!
After reading this book, I feel unworthy to post a link to He Was Weird in this post.
I would have liked these guys to respond to my calls.
Originally, last week’s post about whether the police should be involved in bullying incidents was going to be a one off. However, this past week or so, I have been reading the book by author Cherie White titled: “From Victim to Victor.” It’s Cherie’s own account of how she was badly bullied in junior high school and then high school and how she eventually was able to move past her experiences and lead a great life. At the moment, I’m still on the victim part and not to the victor but when I do finish reading, I will give a full review of it here.
For the purpose of today’s post, I want to share a part from Cherie’s book which is related to the subject of involving the police. In this instance, one of her bullies (and there were many) follows her home from school after she refuses to give up her seat on the bus and attacks her in the street in the presence of her brother and his friends. Cherie’s injuries require hospitalization and her father decides to go the legal route against the bully. Without wanting to divulge too much, the bully is given probation and ordered to stay away from Cherie and pay her medical bills.
Reading this account, it had me reflecting back to my own experiences and my post about involving the police. In one instance, my mother did threaten to press charges on two bullies if such a thing was to happen again. My fear would have been that even if I had pressed charges on those or any other bullies, I don’t think they would have even received the sentence Cherie’s bully did. At worst, they would have possibly been handed a restraining order or some light ‘slap on the wrist.’ Worse though is that there would have been a good chance that they would have been acquitted! See, the father of one of the bullies my mother threatened to press charges on was a well respected lawyer in the community. Many lawyers did live in that town so if not the father, there would have been another highly paid attorney to do the job. Combining that with the fact that I was a kid nobody liked, there would have been a good chance of an acquittal.
Another point I would have had in common with Cherie is the aftermath. She received a lot of bullying from a friend of the bully that was reported to police. In my case, a light sentence or acquittal would have encouraged the bullies more. After all, the son of the lawyer wore what he had done to me as a badge of honour and boasted about being threatened with being charged. I knew he was confident that lawyer daddy or one of his associates would have got him off.
In spite of the gloom scenario I have just painted, I think there is a time when enough is enough and if the school or parents won’t address the bullying, the police should be called when it escalates and believe me, it will! If the police don’t do anything, then it should be the newspapers. No one should have to suffer the bullying torment that Cherie and I both had to suffer.
In my book, “He Was Weird,” there is a scene where Mark, the protagonist, is beaten up and his bicycle wrecked. When his mother learns of what happened, she goes into the school and has the parents of the two perpetrators brought in for a meeting. In this meeting, she informs the other parents that should something like that happen again, she would seek to press charges. In other words, she would involve the police.
This did actually happen to me and it happened pretty much as how I describe it. It also had a contrasting effect on the two boys involved. One boy was genuinely sorry and even offered me the use of his bike while mine was being repaired. (The bike repair is another story.) On the other hand, the other boy wore the whole thing as a badge of honour. He went around saying that next time, I was going to have him arrested for assault and battery. As a result, I was made out to be some sort of wimp because first, I got the school and my mother involved and then the idea of the police. As often times with bullies, these two boys were seen as heroes.
Now I admit, I may have made a mistake after the event. I thought that people would leave me alone if faced with the threat of being arrested. Therefore, if anyone threatened me with bodily harm, my response would be that I would have them arrested for assault and battery. In fact, one of the boys would sometimes warn the bullies that I might do that because I did it to him. The actual fact was that we didn’t actually press charges, we just said we would next time. However, this didn’t deter any bullying but in fact some bullies would carry on more to see if I would actually go through with it. One teacher even said I was using it to pick fights. After a few occasions when I told my mother of the bullying and she didn’t go to the police, I knew it wasn’t going to happen.
While it didn’t happen to me in real life, in the story, Mark’s mother and grandfather is able to get a restraining order on another of his bullies. Unfortunately for Mark, it only encourages more bullying as the bullies would taunt, “I want you to get a restraining order on me.” I do believe that would have actually happened. Then shortly on in the story, the bully continues the bullying because he knows the police won’t do anything even though there’s a restraining order in place. The police don’t believe the bully is violating the order.
Another point in relation to this is that one of the bullies in the initial instance’s father is a top lawyer and well respected in the town. Something I convey more in the story, although this bully never said that everyone should beat me up so his father’s law firm can give them a discount defending them in court. If my mother did press charges against this bully, daddy or one of his criminal lawyer friends would have got him off. There was also the case that one of my other bullies and there were many, was the nephew of the chief of police. In small town politics, no charges would have ever been brought against him.
So, it begs the question, should the police intervene in instances of bullying? Well, if the target is at risk of physical harm or the threat of it, then definitely. Furthermore, schools or rich daddy lawyers should not be allowed to block any police action. Furthermore, some legislatures and local governments are taking steps to make bullying a crime. I think that might be a good thing.
Peaceful Rampage 