Like most of the world, I too was angry about the death of African American George Floyd at the hands of a police officer who knelt on Floyd’s neck for eight minutes and forty-six seconds. Therefore, I fully understand the protests around the world against racism, although in some cases, things have been taken a little too far but that’s for another post. Naturally, there are detractors who have been criticizing the protesters and of course, the true racists have come out of the woodwork. This has led to lots of back and forth and with my Asperger’s mind where everything gets through to my brain, it has caused some overload within it.
Race has always been a hot potato in society but for me, it has been a real mind boggler, especially with my past. FFI: Read my post: “Interracial Bullying- My Experiences” and you will have some clue why the subject of race has played so much havoc with my mind. With all that has been going on over the last few weeks, I could have been going into mental overload if I had let it. What it has done has brought out all the contrary points my mind has been wrestling with over the past few decades.
White people have always been reluctant to talk about race out of fear of causing offence. I am among them. Recently, some black people have stated that there must be an open discussion on race issues and that white people should not be afraid of speaking up because of their fears. I also agree with that. However, here’s where past experiences and observations come into play. The reason why I would be very reluctant to speak about race issues is because I have seen a number of black men, especially in America, who look to take offense at the slightest little utterance, even if it was clear that offense wasn’t intended, and immediately go wading in with their fists. Now I know that the percentage of black men who would actually do this is small but I’ve seen it enough times that I would be rather afraid to talk about race issues.
Robert E Lee
Another paradox I have come across is the current discussion of the Confederate flag. This flag represented a country which supported the continued practice of slavery of the African peoples. The South was wrong and the right side won the American Civil War. However, when I was in the service, I met many Southerners, some of whom, if it was up to them, would still be fighting that war. I say again, the South was wrong and I think the Confederate flag should be taken down and never spoken of again. It is a symbol of racial oppression. Now, here’s the second paradox which baffles me in this regard. When I was in the service, I met some African Americans from the South who actually had, ‘Southern Pride.’ One such person was even known to call people from the North, “Stupid Ass Yankees.” It would appear that this particular gentleman forgot about history but if I was to have reminded him of historical facts, he was the type of African American male who would have responded with his fists. Anyway, it all sounds a bit like Stockholm Syndrome to me.
I know that the black men who act in such an aggressive manner are in the minority, just like white people who join white supremacist groups. But what I experienced in regards to race has given rise to my anxieties in not wanting to talk about the subject of race. Likewise, I would have liked to have gone on Black Lives Matter marches but the fact I’m still in work over the lockdown has prevented this. Furthermore, more anxieties that if I was to go on a march, I would meet the black man who would question my motives for going. He might say that I was only on the march because it was the ‘cool thing to do’ or that I was trying to impress a girl who was on the march. Then again, I wonder how many white people who have gone on these marches will, twenty years down the line, use it proof they’re not racist. It’s all a paradox.
Hopefully, it can be seen why my past experiences has given me so many anxieties in regards to race to the point that I don’t want to get into any discussions on the subject. However, while, to quote “South Park,” I’ll never get it in regards to the plight of black people in the world. I would like some guidance so I can have some clarity in my own mind.
Thankfully, the main character in He Was Weird had to experience it. To buy the book, go to: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Was-Weird-Publisher-Generation-Publishing/dp/B00SLVHRFG/ref=sr_1_1?crid=36I8I1G32U0R4&dchild=1&keywords=he+was+weird&qid=1593458282&s=books&sprefix=he+was+%2Cstripbooks%2C148&sr=1-1
Peaceful Rampage 