Interest or Obsessions?

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academic achievement, American football, Asperger's Syndrome, Autism, BBC, books, bullying, He Was Weird, ice hockey, Interests, intolerance, music, obsessions, schools, solar system, stereotypes, World War II

What is normally found with people who have Asperger’s Syndrome is that many are really focused on their personal interests, sometimes to the point where it looks like an obsession. From my experiences, many of the people I work with have their own interests and can become very obsessive over them. Take the two service users I work with most of the time. One likes to read the Teletext pages on his TV to keep abreast of world news and he has a ritual in town where he counts cars. The objective of this is only clear in his mind. The other gentleman has different interests and can border on obsession. He is interested in wars, especially both world ones, naturally disasters and attacks on humans by large predators. I’m talking sharks and crocodiles mainly. He helps to satisfy these interests by purchasing DVDs, post cards and models and if we didn’t keep it in check, would spend all his money on it.

I realized many years ago that my interests have sometimes bordered on obsession, especially when I was a lot younger. Like my client, I too liked war. In fourth grade it was the Native American wars with the US Cavalry and one George Armstrong Custer became a hero of mine. The war interest re-established itself inside my mind in my last three years of high school but this time it was World War II. I began collecting the Time-Life books on it, which I still have.

General George A Custer

However, my interests came and went, sometimes with the school year. In fifth grade, war changed to sports and that changed within itself when I hit sixth grade. My fifth grade interest in American Football gave way to ice hockey. While I still loved those sports in seventh grade, they took a back seat to an interest in the solar system after learning about it in school. I especially have a fondness for the planet Uranus, don’t ask where that came from. Thanks to the film in 1975, my freshman year in high school was spent in what some called obsession of Rollerball. And for those who read my 80smetalman blog, I would be lying if I didn’t admit that I had an ongoing love for music, at least hard rock and heavy metal anyway.

My favourite planet other than our own, Uranus

While these interests came and went, they never left my mind totally. My fourth grade interest in General Custer laid dormant in my mind enough for me to write my junior year history essay on the Battle of Little Big Horn. He also propped up when I watched a documentary on the Civil War and was quite pleased that he played a role in the Union victory at Gettysburg, even if it was done by a series of reckless charges. World War 2 interest has always remained with me although like most of America in the 1980s, I too was fascinated with the Vietnam films. I still enjoy watching “Rollerball” and love American football and ice hockey. However, my interest in the planets in our solar system is the most recent one to return.

Of course I can say that my interest in it never left. It made a strong comeback in 1999 when the BBC aired and eight part series called “The Planets.” I really enjoyed that series despite being a little disappointed that NASA found my favourite planet boring when Voyager II flew past. But as it’s the rule with the BBC, if I really like something they show, they never show it again. Recently, I finally purchased the series on DVD and am watching it again. It might be out of date by now, for instance, the planned Cassini mission to Saturn has happened in 2003, but that hasn’t stopped my enjoyment of it. Plus, whenever I get the chance when supply teaching, I will teach a lesson about the solar system.

The problem with having strong interests is how the ‘rest of the world’ perceives it. In school, I was often ridiculed and even bullied for having these strong interests. “Is that all you think about?” was a standard question asked of me a lot during this time. People’s justification for their intolerance and bullying was that my constant talk about my interests annoyed them. However, what I should have said to them back then was their slight ‘annoyance’ was no excuse for violence or threats of it. In many cases, these so called annoyed people simply let it annoy them as an excuse to bully. A simple, “I’m not into that” would have stopped me from talking about it.

I wonder how many people with Asperger’s Syndrome were bullying victims because of people’s ‘annoyance’ with their interest or obsessions. I know Mark was in “He Was Weird” and like when I went through at the time, the adults blamed him for going on too much about his interests. That’s a big trait of someone with ASD. They are interested in it so much, they want to talk about it. Those in the ‘normal’ world need to understand that and while they have every right to not be interested in the interests of another, bullying, intimidation and violence is not the way to get them to stop.

To buy He Was Weird, go to: https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1500801442&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

 

 

 

 

 

Patterns of Abuse | How To Recognize a Mind Fuck?

Tags

anxiety, Asperger's Syndrome, Autism, bullying, teasing

This Hits the Nail on the Head for Me

 

American Badass Activists

Fuck being a victim, or continue experiencing abuse after it’s spotted.

If I can recognize it, and when I do recognize it, done. No apologies. And an extra go-fuck-yourself automatically included. Free of charge. 

The trick is how to recognize an abusive relationship when Autistic (or Neurodiverse) traits make it not understood until far too late.

Cutting ties to an abusive person includes a few consistent patterns in my experience — actually all my past abusers from childhood to recent (physical, sexual, emotional or gaslighting type) shared these traits:

I’m to blame. They are the victim and I’m the one that caused the issues and at fault for the abuse. If the abuser suffers any consequences for their behaviors, that’s some fault of mine they had to suffer.

The abuser is always publicly, loudly, quietly, always the victim. Someone is always at fault for their behaviors and no responsibility is…

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Good Parenting Skills?

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books, bullying, Criminal Minds, Mothers, parents, schools, television

Today’s post is inspired by a comment made on my previous post when I talked about bullying as portrayed on television. David Prosser, I hope he doesn’t mind me naming him here, pointed out that parents teach their children how not to be victims of bullying but not how not to be bullies. David’s words of wisdom were spot on! Plus, it gave me food for thought about parents and bullying.

Absolutely true that parents teach their children not to be victims but not how not to be bullies. However, from my experiences, some of which I highlight in my book, “He Was Weird,” parents seem to like the fact that their children are bullies. They seem to wear this fact as some sort of sick badge of honour. Some even go as far to think that their offspring being bullies is a good reflection of their parenting skills. Their justification is that they have taught their children how to stand up for themselves, wrong! 

There is a major difference in standing up for oneself and being a bully. The two certainly don’t go hand in hand. Some of the best people I know who know how to handle themselves can do so without being a bully and more importantly, using their words instead of their fists. This is what parents should be teaching their children, not teaching or encouraging them to be bullies.

I have seen many instances when the parents of bullying victims have tried to address a bullying issue with the parents of the bully and the bully’s parents either dismissive or even patronizing over it. One famous response a bully’s parents has used is “You should teach your child how to fist fight.” So does mean if the victim, next time they’re bullied, picks up a baseball bat or even a gun and seriously harms or kills their bully, the bully’s parents will think that’s all right? I don’t think so. What needs to happen is for the bully’s parents to take a stand in encouraging their child in not being a bully. Linking it to that “Criminal Minds” episode, I believe that those murdered parents and the murdered teen would still be alive if the parents had taken a pro-active stance in teaching their child it is wrong to be a bully.

I have experienced this. In one of my worst instances of being bullied, my mother had the parents of both tormentors into school. One of the parents was reasonable about it but the other, a successful lawyer, was very dismissive about the entire affair. As far as he was concerned, his son could do no wrong and I was to blame for what happened to me. Yep, that bully’s parents also used the age old tactic of blaming the victim. What is needed here is more education, both to adults and children. It needs to be drummed home that all bullying is wrong and it’s not a status symbol if your child is a bully.

To buy He Was Weird, go to https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1499885767&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

 

 

 

 

Bullying As Seen On TV: Criminal Minds Part 3

Tags

books, bullying, Criminal Minds, friendship, He Was Weird, teasing, television

 

Some of the team from Criminal Minds

Not long in the past, I wrote a series of posts about bullying and school shootings as portrayed on television. Two of those posts were inspired by episodes of the hit American TV series, “Criminal Minds.” It was always my intention to write a third post from that series as the season of “Criminal Minds” that has just ended had a very good episode involving bullying. However, I had to wait for it to become available on Sky Box Set and recently it has. So, now I’m going to write about it, way hey!

In the most recent episode about bullying, the Criminal Minds team, officially called the BAU, get a case about a family who was murdered except for the teenage girl. At first, the team think it’s some kind of organized crime hit or a killing by a jilted love because the mother is having an affair. Not long after, another family is murdered only this time, the teenage son is allowed to live. It is at this point that the BAU come to the conclusion that the survivors of both family massacres are the intended victims. Someone wants both teenagers to suffer. A check through the school records show that both teens were accused of being bullies although nothing is put down on their permanent records. The school counselor is suspected as he was a former bullying victim and thought of as a joke by most of the school. Then things take another turn when, instead of the family, the teenage boy is murdered. Seeing the brutality of the murder leads the BAU team to reconsider the killer and established that it is not an adult but a bullied teen.

Cue the killer! We discover that he was a bullying victim and belongs to a group of other teen bullying victims calling themselves ‘The Anti- Terrorist Squad.” Note here, the programme does very rightly liken bullies to terrorists because for the victims, that is exactly what they are. The killer tells the group that he was the one who murdered their bullies and their families. However, most of the group doesn’t see him as the hero he thought they would. As a result, he takes the group hostage at gunpoint and marches them to the outdoor basketball court where law enforcement arrives. It is then we find out that the killer suffered a horrendous bullying incident when he was tied to a pole at those same courts, had a basketball thrown at his head, to the amusement of onlookers and left tied there til the morning. When he was found, no action is taken against the bullies. I say, no wonder he snapped.

I wonder what would have happened if the bullying I suffered during those three years was as bad as that. That I was tied to a pole and humiliated and abused like that. Unlike the killer, whose father was an alcoholic, my mother would have noticed that I hadn’t come home. When phoning my friends did not reveal my whereabouts, she would have phoned the police and in a small town like that, I would have been found.

If this had happened to me, I wonder what outcome there would have been on those who did it to me. Knowing my mother, charges would have been pressed and arrests made. However, some of those kids’ families had money and would have lawyered up and probably would have gotten off with a slap on the wrist. Some of the not so rich kids might have been prosecuted to the full extent of the law but what sentence would they have received? As for me, I probably would have been made more of a target for ‘getting my mother involved’ and getting so many kids in trouble. The bullying might have been worse in one sense as supporters of the bullies would have gone after me for their friends. Hopefully, that would have been the final straw with me living in that town and I would have moved out sooner, thus a silver lining there. But what baffles me is the fact that kids can do this to others while feeling totally untouchable. Again, is it any wonder kids snap and shoot up their school?

To buy He Was Weird, go to: https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1499199984&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

 

 

 

 

Yet Another Victory for Bullies, Thanks to the School

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books, bullying, He Was Weird, Newport Kentucky, schools, teachers

When I read about this last week, I had already written my weekly post for Peaceful Rampage and therefore, I thought I’d wait a week to see if there were any further developments. To my knowledge, there are none. The teacher in Newport, Kentucky who was suspended by her school for speaking out against bullying, remains suspended. If this is the first time you’ve heard about the story, then click the link below.

http://www.fox19.com/story/35501794/school-suspends-newport-teacher-for-speaking-out-about-bullying

In short, here we have a teacher who is concerned about bullying at her school, so she speaks out about it. The school in response suspends the teacher for the rest of the school year without pay. Furthermore, the school has refused to speak out about bullying and even downplaying, it stating that the bullying problems were down to that teacher’s lack of classroom management. However, bullying has been reported to have happened throughout the entire school.

What we have is a school who wants to downplay or deny any bullying going on at their school. Furthermore, they take action against a teacher who is brave enough to speak out about it. So, chalk up another victory for bullies.

My question is when are schools going to own up to the fact that bullying still goes on. While I can understand that no school is comfortable with bullying happening at it, the answer is not to sweep it under the carpet. This happens all too often and I had no problem highlighting the point in “He Was Weird.” Furthermore, the worse thing the school can do is to take action against the person(s) who speak up about it. Sometimes it’s even the victim! Instead, what we need is for schools to get it out into the open, identify all bullying and come up with effective strategies that not only stop the bullying but prevent it from happening in the future.

To buy He Was Weird, go to https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1496174939&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

Further Influences of Jello Biafra on He Was Weird

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books, bullying, christianity, Columbine, computer games, films, He Was Weird, Jello Biafra, Politics, religion, school shootings, schools, teasing

It would be a complete lie if I didn’t admit that a large part of my writing “He Was Weird” was influenced by the speech by Jello Biafra I heard in 2005. After all, it was that speech that made me realize that in the case of school shootings, this could have been me. Also like Jello, one of the reasons why it was never me was that I had no access to guns or any money to go out and buy them. What I can say was that speech made me think and reflect back to less happier times in my past and that got me to write the book.

For the record, I never intentionally plagiarized anything Mr Biafra said in that speech. If anything, I took what was said and went the opposite way with it. The best example was with Jello’s constant identification of religion. In some of the school shootings he refers to, Columbine included, he points out the “being bullied to believe” attitude that permeates many small towns in America. He attacks the attitude that if children had more religion in their lives, they wouldn’t do such horrible things. Yes, I find it difficult not to laugh at that notion too. So what I did in the book was to make Mark a Born Again Christian. Fairly early in the story, he accepts Jesus as his Saviour but that does nothing to quell the bullying hell he is suffering. While his conversion leads to the best week of his young life, it is also short lived. What religion does do for Mark in preparation for his big day is to give him courage to carry out his rampage via two verses in the Bible. I guess hanging the ten commandments up in the classroom wouldn’t have prevented the shooting in this case.

Jello Biafra

Another big part of that speech playfully attacks those who are convinced that Marilyn Manson and violent computer games like Doom causes school shootings. I never followed the argument that games like Doom desensitize a person from violence. Most kids and adults play these games as a release and nothing more. Killing aliens and monsters and even enemy soldiers on a screen is a good way to unwind after a tough day. However, in “He Was Weird,” Mark doesn’t own any CDs or computer games that would contribute to him carrying out his shooting. No Marilyn Manson or Doom, the only music the police find in Mark’s room after the shooting are by two Christian Rock bands and the only computer games are an ice hockey game and the Age of Empires series. Of course, the latter is blamed on Mark’s rampage by some people. They argue that those games gave Mark the military know how to carry out his plan that day. As a result, some victims try to sue Microsoft and others try to get the teacher who ran the computer games club fired. Well, they had to blame something I guess.

Marilyn Manson-

There are probably other things in Jello Biafra’s speech which also influenced my writing of “He Was Weird.” These are only minor points and if I remember them, I’ll post about those in the future. The biggest things were religion and the belief that music and computer games cause school shootings.

To buy He Was Weird, go to https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1495650963&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What I Would Like to See In “He Was Weird,” the Movie

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BBC, books, bullying, films, He Was Weird, Jello Biafra, Politics, school shootings, speeches

A few weeks ago, I posted about how overjoyed I’d be if someone was to make “He Was Weird” into a film. I think the great majority of authors would be. However, I also stated my reservations about it as well, especially if the film was made by the British Broadcasting Corporation, the BBC. Like all authors, I would be fearful of the filmmakers changing too much of the book or delivering scenes in a way that might miss the point I was trying to make when I wrote it. The school shooting is the prime example. On the other hand, there were things not in the book that I would like to be put into the film, only because those items don’t transfer well between book and film.

If you look at the page of everyone I thank for their assistance when I wrote “He Was Weird,” you would find that the last thank you goes to former lead singer of the punk band Dead Kennedys and now a days, a political spokesman and social commentator, Jello Biafra. It was his speech on school shootings that encouraged me to write the book. When I first listened to that speech, I had to reflect back on my own life, especially during the three years of bullying hell I went through and conclude that in the case of school shootings: This could have been me.

Jello Biafra

In any movie on the book, I would hope that segments of the speech would be used in key points. The most obvious one would be when Mark is riding his bike to school on the big day. While I believe and have been told that I do a reasonably good job in showing how he is feeling as he is riding his bike to school to carry out his extravaganza, this would be hard to capture on film. Basically, Mark has come to the conclusion that he is a failure to everyone and that the town of Ramsgate is responsible so it’s only right that he end his life as well as those of his tormentors. Jello provides the right words here. So, during Mark’s final trip to school, we could hear Jello commenting:

“There is nothing more dangerous than someone who has nothing to live for and therefore nothing to lose. Doesn’t particularly want to die but can’t see the point of living. Knows who wrecked their life and thinks ‘If I have to die, I’m taking them with me.” 

I truly believe that this would be a powerful build up to the brutal climax to come.

Another point where Jello’s words can be useful is right after the shooting. While news of it spreads around the world quite rapidly and the introductory words to the speech could be used in any of the newscasts following the shooting, my personal preference would be when Mark’s love interest Lisa is coming downstairs the next morning and is about to be told about Mark’s deeds by her parents. This can be playing on the radio in the background:

“Dateline Hellburbia! Wallmart wasteland USA! Monster teenagers shot up their school again.” 

Again, the power behind the speech would jar the people in the audience to the shock news that Lisa is about to receive.

The final use of Jello’s speech would come at the very end of the film and serve as a warning. While I do my best to end the story happily and we understand the why’s and how’s behind Mark’s actions as well as the effects it had on many people, the problems of bullying and other factors that might lead to a young person shooting up their school never disappear. So, while Mark’s sister Leslie and her boyfriend are walking off into the sunset before the closing credits, Jello’s voice will put a solid reminder to all with:

“No matter how much we drug, profile and ban music, some vacant stranger out there, raised on guns, raised on hate, mind fucked by pedophile relatives, molested by mind controlling drugs, smothered by successful older siblings and relatives will find a way to be pop star for a day and we’ll tune in and watch every time.” 

Not all of the above applied to Mark but most of it did. I think all of these parts of Jello Biafra’s speech would fit in very well in a movie of my book. Now, I await the offers from film companies, fat chance.

To buy He Was Weird, go to https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1494925485&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He Was Weird the Move? I’d Love It, But….

Tags

BBC, books, bullying, films, Great Britain, He Was Weird, Lionel Shriver, Michael D LeFevre, school shootings, television, We Need to Talk About Kevin

What author wouldn’t want their book made into a move? There may be some but I know that I would. Seeing my words turned into real life on the big screen would be the ultimate achievement. However, I would be more than a little worried if the filmmakers happened to come from the British Broadcasting Company, the BBC. This isn’t because I think that the BBC would tamper with the plot or anything like that. No, my worry is over the fact that in the past, the BBC has shied away from violence. Take the fantastic 1970s television series, “I Claudius.” Having read the book, there were numerous accounts of gladiator battles plus Claudius’s remarkable conquest of Britain. Therefore, I would have expected some sword play in the series but there was none. I found that disappointing.

The BBC did make a film about one of the books on school shootings, which I post about, “We Need to Talk About Kevin.” In my opinion, the filmmakers didn’t do the book justice. I won’t go into some of the scenes from the book that were left out in the film, which I thought shouldn’t have been. It’s the scene were Kevin actually carries out his school massacre. We only get a few seconds of Kevin shooting his arrows. We don’t see any of them hitting their targets or any reaction from Kevin or his victims. Hell, the bow he used in the movie wasn’t the same type described in the book. This is my reservation about the BBC making the movie of “He Was Weird,” the shooting would be left out. All we would see is a five second clip of Mark shooting his Uzi and that would be it. Such a thing would do my book a great disservice.

The shooting scene from “We Need to Talk About Kevin.” There’s not much more to it.

If a movie was to be made from “He Was Weird,” it would be imperative to see the school shooting in full. Some readers were actually glad when Mark finally gets his revenge on his bullies, although some of those said that they felt a little guilty about that after they read of Mark’s carnage. They’re right though, the audience needs to see Mark finally get is revenge after all his suffering up until that point. One piece of feedback went further to say that one can feel him releasing all of his hate when he double taps (he shoots them again) some of those he shot. I’m not saying we need to see blood and gore on “Saving Private Ryan” scale, although there would be filmmakers who would go to that extreme but we would need to see the shooting from the first shots all the way to the end. I would worry that the BBC wouldn’t do that.

Other parts of the book could be omitted or expanded upon depending on how the filmmaker viewed those bits. I would be interested to see how Mark’s “Week in Paradise” would have been covered. Again, there, I would worry that some filmmakers would age Mark in the film so they could have a sex scene. from that chapter.  I don’t see the need myself. Besides, that is where Mark officially enters puberty.

What caught the attention of New Generation Publishing was the ice hockey scenes. The head of the company told me he liked how the reader was reading about Mark scoring first the tie-ing goal and then the winning goal to give the Junior Flyers the championship. One second, you are celebrating with Mark on the ice, then all of a sudden, you’re back in his bedroom while he is celebrating because the computer is saying his team won. Therefore, I would hope that any hockey scene from the book, used in the film, would be real.

My beloved Philadelphia Flyers, are they celebrating with Mark?

They will probably never make a movie from “He Was Weird,” but here’s to dreaming. I wouldn’t tell the BBC no if they offered but I would hope that they wouldn’t cut out any of the shooting or the bullying because both form the basis behind the entire story.

To buy He Was Weird, go to https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1493150135&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bullying As Seen On TV: Criminal Minds- Part 2

Tags

19 Minutes, books, bullying, Criminal Minds, Endgame, He Was Weird, schools, teachers, television

Some of the team from Criminal Minds

For this post, I’m back on the subject of bullying as seen on TV. The television series “Criminal Minds” has given me three episodes worth of inspiration. The first one was posted about two weeks ago on school shootings. Today’s post was inspired by the eleventh episode of season nine, simply called “Bully.”

The story as far as I’m concerned, begins with a man being murdered while he was out jogging. What really astounds the BAU, as well as local police, is the ferocity of the attack. Here is a well conditioned man who appeared able to handle himself but he is beaten really badly to death. Things get more interesting when the team discover a young couple who suffered the same fate a year earlier. There is debate whether the two murders are linked and that provides an interesting counter plot but I’m not here to review the programme.

Another murder happens and that leads to the big breakthrough in the case. A husband and wife are murdered in their house and the team interview the young daughter who has to come back from university to deal with her parents’ affairs. She tells the team of a young boy who was believed to have committed suicide because he was bullied so badly. This boy was forced to wear girl’s underpants in front of the entire school. One can only imagine the humiliation and it makes me glad that I didn’t have such an ordeal. It turns out that the murdered jogger was a substitute teacher at the high school at the time and saw the bullying but didn’t do anything about it.

Here comes the murderer. We discover that in the years after he dropped out of high school, due to the bullying, he has become a physical fitness fanatic aided by taking steroids. Viewers get a full look at his now extremely aggressive tendencies. They also get a flashback to when he was bullied by having his head stuck down a toilet. In the end, the team locate him at the high school after he was beaten up but not yet killed another teacher who was present at the bullying of his friend but sorted the problem by making the victim and the bully shake hands. Unlike so many American cop shows, the murdering victim is not shot but taken into custody on the promise that he would get to tell his side of the story. After reading the books, “Nineteen Minutes” and “Endgame,” I wonder how much of his story would be told and would anybody listen?

While I be the first one to admit that murder doesn’t justify anything like this, I couldn’t help feeling a lot of sympathy for the killer. I know that Mark in “He Was Weird” would have felt it too. Both of us faced bullies but unlike the teacher who didn’t effectively deal with it on the programme, some of my teachers actually tried to turn it around and blame me, the victim. I highlight this quite a lot in the book. Another interesting personal link to this episode was that although I didn’t take steroids, I did join the marines after high school because I wanted it to give me the physical tools to deal with any bullies. Even though the horrendous bullying I endured was in junior high school, it had still left a mental scar that is still present today. It’s just faded a lot.

To buy He Was Weird, go to: https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1492712964&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

 

 

 

 

 

 

High School Does End

Tags

books, Bowling for Soup, bullying, Crime Scene Investigation, Criminal Minds, Jello Biafra, music, school shootings, schools, television

Bowling for Soup

My previous post based on the episode from the TV show “Criminal Minds” has given me food for thought. In that episode, ten years after a school shooting occurred at their high school, there was one group that saw continued to see themselves as above the others. They were even called the “Top Ten.” This group still excluded one young man who felt he should have been part of that group but wasn’t and was still excluded. That exclusion was what led him to start killing members of that group.

That episode and post, along with seeing the video for the song, “High School Never Ends” by Bowling for Soup, had me reflecting on my post high school days. In high school, I was nearly what one of the characters in “Crime Scene Investigation” used to describe his high school days, a ghost. I did engage in some extra curricular activities in school and I wasn’t bullied, except for the odd occasion but unlike most of junior high, I never walked the halls in fear. Saying that, I was considered a ‘loser’ or weird or other things by a number of students.

However, in my own mind, I did return to my old high school in triumph a few months after graduation after I became a marine. Walking the halls in uniform with stomach in and chest out and receiving no hostile or even patronizing rebuffs from anyone, I felt I put any specter of high school to rest. I had become a marine and had made something of myself.

At the conclusion of the previous post, I mentioned how I ran into some former jocks and had a beer with them. I was never friends with any of them in high school so I thought barriers had been broken down. However, I saw one of them a few weeks later and he gave me a patronizing “Hi.” Like those in the “Criminal Minds” episode, he obviously saw me in the same light as high school despite the fact that I had served my country and seen the world through my own eyes, which he had only seen on TV and textbooks.

I’ve never been to a high school reunion. I did try to go to my five year one but no one answered when I dialed the phone number given in the radio advert. By the time the ten year reunion came around, I was already living in the UK. By chance, my mother crossed paths with someone I was in high school with and who was on the committee for the reunion. Not wanting to go on record as ‘whereabouts unknown,’ I instructed my mother to tell this person that I was living in London and married with a baby boy. Since then, I have always speculated if it was announced I was living in London and what the reactions of my graduating class would be. I believe a good number of people would have been impressed that I was living in such a city. However, there would have been others, the ones who thought I was a loser, would have claimed that I was living in the biggest slum in London and working at McDonald’s. Neither speculation would have been correct.

Jello Biafra

Nowadays, I wonder if I’m still listed as living in London at reunions. I don’t anymore, I live in rural Gloucestershire. I amuse myself once in a great while by speculating what those from the Mainland Regional High School Class of 79 would make of me should I ever run into any of them. After all, while I’m not some corporate big wig or a star in the arts, although I have written and published two books, I don’t think I’ve done too bad. However, in the end, I choose not to worry about it because like Jello Biafra once said, high school isn’t all that important and it’s not the best years in most people’s lives. It certainly wasn’t for me. Although I didn’t hear him say this until 2005, I’m glad I followed his advice in regards to my high school years and those awful years before by pissing on its grave and getting the hell out of town. When you do that, the less significant those days become.

To buy He Was Weird, go to: https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1492123102&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird