Have a Stressless Christmas

Tags

Americans, anxiety, Asperger's Syndrome, Autism, Christmas, holidays, self-harming

Preaching to the choir here because everyone knows that Christmas is a time for relaxation and all that, the run up to it is rather stressful. For someone with Aspergers Syndrome, that stress can be multiplied many-fold. I am no different. That was why when we went to do the major food shop before Christmas, my anxiety levels were at a concerning high.

For the most part, the shop went relatively well without any significant rises in my anxiety levels. There was a small blip when we went to the booze aisle and the cider my step-children like wasn’t there and those levels rose slightly when I couldn’t find my traditional bottle of Black Tower wine but fortunately, there was an assistant there to show me exactly where my wine was, crisis averted. Normally, the checkout counter is a real stresser for me as I try to pack the shopping in a practical way. This can be hard when items sail down the conveyor belt too fast. Again, my step-daughter and step-granddaughter were great in assistance. I wish I had maturity at thirteen that my step-granddaughter has.

Even after the shopping was done, those anxieties didn’t go away. It didn’t help that while driving home, some nitwit who wanted to be Lewis Hamilton nearly drove up my bum and then honked his horn at me like it was my fault. That made the levels climb a little but once I got to KFC, they went down again. Food has always been a great de-stresser for me.

Back home, I had to not only deal with putting the shopping away, I had to clean the kitchen before doing so. My wife went and step-daughter went to another store to get the few things the first one ran out of. It was when they got home, I had the short sharp rise. I had left the keys in the door and in my mind, I committed a horrible crime. While punching myself in the head brought the anxiety levels down, I wouldn’t recommend it as a strategy for doing so.

The food has been bought, the presents are under the tree and now I am looking for a nice relaxing Christmas. Though I have to work Christmas Day and Boxing Day, I don’t expect it to be any stressful as there will only be one service user there and he’s no trouble. However, my point is that Christmas can be stressful and it can cause high anxiety in people, even cause them to snap. Here’s a light-hearted song by Weird Al Yankovic about Santa snapping, it’s all in good fun.

So, with that, I wish all of you a Merry Christmas. Oh yeah, it is tradition that I make the awful joke that Americans don’t celebrate Boxing Day. They have Wrestling Day instead. Drum roll please.

My impression of what Wrestling Day would look like

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

School in Literary Bullying- Endgame

Tags

Americans, books, bullying, Endgame, guns, Nancy Garden, school shootings, schools, teachers

If the occurrences in the novels on bullying and school shootings had actually happened in real life, then what happens in “Endgame” by the late Nancy Garden would be the most damning of any school in any of the stories. In “Endgame,” the bullying starts almost straight away as the protagonist, Gray Wilton and his friend are set upon by senior football players, led by alpha-male, Zorro. However, when Gray reports the bullying to Mr Vee, the PE teacher, the teacher’s response is “sticks and stones.” Later on the story he tries to further justify his lack of action on Gray’s plight by saying, “Boys will be boys.”

Sadly, this seems to be the state of affairs in American high schools. The jocks are mollycoddled and patted on the head for abusing the “freaks” and “weirdos.” Like in so many cases, Mr Vee didn’t want to get involved in the situation because it involved his boys, the football players. However, Mr Vee isn’t the only teacher guilty of doing nothing to stop the bullying hell Gray was going through. Later on in the story, Gray conveys to his lawyer how teachers would stay in the classrooms so they could remain oblivious to any bullying happening out in the school halls and therefore not have to deal with it. Furthermore, when Gray comes to school in the mornings, there are no teachers in the area giving Zorro and his cronies carte blanche to do whatever they want and they do make Gray’s life hell. Eventually, he takes back ways and hidden passages into school so he can avoid the bullies. What we have here is a school that pretends they don’t know that bullying is going on in their school because of the fear it might get the star football player into trouble.

There is one teacher who shows Gray some support, that is the music teacher who tutors him because of his ability to play the drums. However, this teacher’s efforts are limited. One reason is because Gray’s father thinks his son playing the drums are a waste of time. The other is when Gray’s drum kit is destroyed before the big Christmas music show, he immediately knows that Zorro is responsible. The teacher seems to believe Gray. However, when Zorro is exonerated, he gets his revenge on Gray by forcing him to drink paint. No teacher is anywhere to witness this and the music teacher is powerless to do anymore.

R.I.P Nancy Garden

The multi-million dollar question is: With no support from the bullying by a school that doesn’t seem to want to know, is it any wonder that Gray took matters into his own hands? I’ll be the first to say that going into a school with a gun and shooting those who have wronged him was not the solution to the problem. Taking a life never is. However, if I was one of the victims or their parent, I would be tempted to sue the school on the grounds that their non actions in preventing the bullying contributed to the later atrocity. The school knew about the bullying and did nothing by pretending it didn’t know. That’ just not acceptable and though this is a book, I can see it happening out there in the real world.

To buy He Was Weird, go to: https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1513883369&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Look At Schools in Literary Bullying: Part 1- Nineteen Minutes

Tags

19 Minutes, books, bullying, Jodi Piccoult, school shootings, schools

In my reviews of books about school shootings, I’ve looked at the shooters, the parents, the bullies and even explored how much an influence music was in the story. So now, I’m going to take a look at the schools in each case and ask, “Could the school have done more to prevent the bullying and possibly stop the tragedy that resulted from it?”

In this post, I will begin with “Nineteen Minutes” by Jodi Picoult. In this story, the protagonist, Peter, is bullied from his first day of school until the fateful day nearly twelve years later when he goes into the school with two pistols and two rifles and carries out a shooting rampage that kills ten and wounds eight. Could the school have done anything?

Early in the story, when Peter is Kindergarden, the teacher sees he’s getting bullied and her answer to the problem was to teach him how to stand up for himself. As we see it doesn’t work and Peter’s life continues to be a living hell. After that, there is practically no evidence of any school trying to deal with Peter’s bullying. Yes, school staff seem to know it’s going on but don’t seem to want to do anything about it.

The most damning evidence against the school comes at Peter’s trial. First, the gym teacher is called to the stand and he states that he is familiar with the school’s bullying policy but he never sees the need to address it. Jodi does leave the reader, at least me anyway, with the impression that the teacher’s lack of concern for Peter’s plight is down to the fact that the bullies are the top jocks in the school. Therefore, he turns a blind eye to his boys while they make their victim’s life a misery.

Second is Peter’s friend, Derek, who is called as a witness for the prosecution. He testifies under cross examination the bullying he and Peter went through in school. When asked why he didn’t tell the school about the bullying, he says that the school wouldn’t have done anything and it would have made the bullying worse. Now, you are probably thinking that the school would denounce Derek’s statement but there is no indication of that in the story.

From the evidence Jodi produces in her novel, I am left to conclude that the school did nothing to halt the bullying of Peter. In reality, the school would have tried to hide behind the excuse that it was never officially reported to them but everyone knew it was going on. Plus, the fear of the victims or further reprisals from the bullies if they told on them is even more damning of the school. Therefore, the school is just as guilty for the deaths resulting from the shooting as the person who carried it out.

To buy He Was Weird, go to: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Was-Weird-Publisher-Generation-Publishing/dp/B00SLVHRFG/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1512983398&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

Are the Schools At Fault?

Tags

19 Minutes, books, bullying, communication, Endgame, He Was Weird, Jodi Piccoult, Michael D LeFevre, Nancy Garden, Rupture, school shootings, schools, Simon Lelic, teachers

Protest Outside Norman High School

Reflecting back to events of the past couple of weeks and over the entire time I have been writing, I believe that its time to venture forth and ask, “Are the schools at fault when it comes to bullying?” Looking at the recent event in Virginia where a mother was arrested and nearly charged with a felony for putting a recording device in her daughter’s bag to find out if she was getting bullied, I would say yes in this case. The mother did try going through the correct procedure of informing the school that her daughter was being bullied but had no response. Therefore, she did what she did out of exasperation. It might not have been the right thing to do as there are lots of privacy issues here but the school failed the mother, plain and simple.

I have no doubt that if the school intervened, there would have been no need for the mother to put a recording device into her daughter’s bag. But why are schools seem to be slow or inactive in dealing with bullying? As a teacher myself, I know how overworked schools and teachers are. In many cases, they aren’t simply ignoring a bullying instance, however, they are so stressed out over their workload that it gets pushed to the back-burner. BTW, I am not using this to excuse schools for not dealing with the bullying, far from it. Bullying cases should be fast-tracked to the top of the school’s attention so it can be dealt with before too much suffering happens.

Other reasons for schools not seeming to handle bullying is the simple fact that they don’t know it’s going on. Many victims are afraid to report bullying for many reasons like looking weak, worried the school won’t take them seriously or reprisals by the bullies outside of school. Of course, some school officials and teachers bury their head in the sand because they don’t want to have to deal with it, so they pretend to know nothing about it. Then they play dumb if pulled up on it. This is wrong and what should happen more is that victims should be totally encouraged to report the bullying they suffer.

What really grinds my gears, (sorry, I’m a Family Guy fan), is how some schools over react when victims or their parents decide enough is enough and take matters into their own hands. The latest incident in Virginia is a prime example and for another good one, read my ancient post, “A Victory for the Bullies.” I theorize that schools react this way because they have been seen as not dealing with the bullying, so, because they lack evidence against the bullies, use the letter of the law to punish the victims because that victim has just embarrassed the school by highlighting the school’s inability to efficiently tackle bullying. This is lame in my view and in my opinion brings more shame upon the school.

Family Guy

Ideas leading to more ideas about future posts has given me inspiration here. Using the novels I popularly use, “Nineteen Minutes” by Jodi Picoult, “Endgame” by the late Nancy Garden, “Rupture” by Simon Lelic and my own novel, “He Was Weird,” all novels where bullying results in a school shooting, I will look at each story and see how well the school handled the bullying in it. I tell you now, that I’m not holding out much hope for the schools here but it should make interesting reading.

To buy He Was Weird, go to: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Was-Weird-Lefevre-Michael-Paperback/dp/B00YRC6826/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1512406367&sr=1-3&keywords=he+was+weird

 

 

 

 

Thank God! Common Sense Has Prevailed.

Tags

bullying, Mothers, parents, schools, victimization

Last week, I posted about how a mother in Virginia was facing criminal charges because she put a recording device into her daughter’s back pack to see whether or not she was getting bullied. Yesterday, the charges against this mother have been dropped. FFI click on the link:

http://edition.cnn.com/2017/11/29/us/virginia-mother-bullying-arrest/index.html

All I can say is thank God somebody saw sense. There should never have been charges brought against this mother for doing what any parent would do if they suspected their child being bullied.