As a parent, I would rather send my children to a high school where I know they will get a good education which will prepare them for college and life in general as opposed to one who would wins state championships in sports.
By the way, I am not anti- school sports. I just don’t think sports should be pushed over learning in high schools.
For the third week running, events on Facebook has given me inspiration for a post. Two weeks ago, I wrote about a would be ‘admirer’ who eventually showed her true colours. Last week, I received heat from the pro-gun lobby because I mentioned how I can teach in a school in Britain and never have to worry about being shot. This week’s post is a sort of summing up of the two and further reflections from my Asperger’s mind.
It’s no secret that the world wide web is full of cowards who will run people down and be downright horrible to them but wouldn’t dare say anything to someone’s face. I’m sure many of us have encountered such person, especially if you make a comment on Facebook which others disagree with. In fact, there have been adverts on British television stating that if you wouldn’t say something in person, then don’t say it online. I share an example of one ad.
Cyber bullying is wrong, plain and simple. However, the situation with the stalker has led me to see things from another point of view. When that ‘admirer’ asked me for money, I unfriended and blocked her straight away. Friends have said that I did the right thing, although I am confident that I had done so to begin with. On the other hand, if this had been during those years I was bullied, I wouldn’t have had social media to instantly break contact with this person. I would have done so face to face and there was danger that the person in question, along with many of her friends, would have made me out to be the bad guy for not giving her money or being a jerk for unfriending her. With the internet, there was little chance of that ever happening.
My take on this is why the net gives cowards the strength to bully people they normally wouldn’t, it gives opportunities for victims to stand up for themselves without any repercussions. I don’t think there is anyone waiting to beat me up for unfriending this would be admirer. Final thought here is that while cowardly bullies use Facebook to abuse others, people who do get bullied in the ‘real world’ can use social media as a way to stand up for themselves without fear of any repercussion.
Eva is still winning matches thanks to me
Still on the subject of my Asperger’s mind, I had another occurrence affected by it. Recently, I wrote a script for my favourite wrestler, Eva. When I emailed her to thank her for making my script look so good, she responded that she could tell it was my script. Typical me, I immediately worried that my scripts were getting too predictable. Right away, I saw something negative. This again, was a result of the bullying I endured in my youth, that nothing I did was ever good enough. Fortunately for me, Eva clarified things by telling me that it was how I lay out my scripts and that they’re so easy to follow. Plus, she enjoys working out my scripts. So, I have a smile on my face as I write this.
In “He Was Weird,” Mark felt this way a lot. That whatever he did was wrong or not good enough. Fortunately or unfortunately, he had the opposite when he was learning how to shoot and that gave him the confidence to carry out his deed.
Last week, I watched an interview with a teacher in Tennessee who said that she would never carry a gun into a classroom. I’m with her on that score but that’s not the point of today’s post. Her interview reminded me of something which happened in the not too distant past. As an American living in the UK, I often get asked if I miss the US and why would I want to live in the UK as opposed to the US. In this instance, I was asked this by a teaching assistant when I was working as a supply teacher in a school. My response was “In the UK, I will go into a classroom and never have to worry about getting shot.” The teaching assistant saw things in a totally different light.
After watching the interview, I posted those same words in the comments section and sure enough, the gun nuts and Fox News watchers came after me. More than one comment was about me getting stabbed instead and a couple more mentioned the tragic murder of British soldier Lee Rigby. According to Fox News, everyone in Britain is going around stabbing each other and even noted US Senator, Marjorie Taylor Greene, compared Britain’s knife crime to US gun crime. So, I retaliated by hitting them with a few facts.
First, the men who murdered Lee are rotting in prison and will do so for a long time. Now, let me get to the true facts. The United States still has a noticeably higher knife crime than the UK. Taking on board population, the knife crime rate in the US is 4.96 per million people compared to only 3.26 in the UK. If you don’t believe me, you can check out the facts here.
So gun nuts, I’m afraid you have been given the wrong information. The knife crime problem is not the epidemic that Donald Trump, Marjorie Taylor Greene or Fox News would like you to believe. Yes, knife crime is a problem here in Great Britain but it’s not as bad as the US and there is certainly no gun problem in the UK. I will point out one fact which one of my responders pointed out. Yes, I don’t like paying a TV license and compared to American television, I would rather be commercialed to death.
Over the past week, I have had an event which brought back all sorts of memories in my Asperger’s mind. After responding to a monologue by Bill Maher on Facebook, I was contacted by a lady who asked me to send her a friend request because she was on board with what I said. Seeing no harm, I did so, which she accepted.
Almost straight away. she started instant messaging me on Facebook and we had some conversations. Next, she requested a picture from me and seeing no harm, I sent her one and she did sent one back. The lady began complimenting me on how handsome I was and how she loved seeing my face and my smile. I kept my responses friendly but not overly so. When she sent me a picture of herself, I would tell her she looked pretty but nothing more. In my youth, I would have said she was smoking hot or beautiful in an attempt to impress. I didn’t need to do that here.
Almost as soon as we started conversing, I told her that I am happily married. While she seemed to accept it, not much later on in our Facebook chats, she seemed to forget this. She would keep telling me how handsome I was and how she can’t go a day without talking to me. One would think she was falling in love with me, although we never met face to face and our encounters have been online chats. It sent alarm bells but I kept talking to her out of kindness, though I told her she was wasting her time pining for me. That didn’t seem to deter her either.
Conversations kept on in this vein although I never divulged any personal details about myself and her compliments kept coming. It got to the point where I talked about it with a friend and that friend gave me advice on how to deal with it and I was glad I was able to talk to somebody about it. The conversations kept going and one secret I did divulge is my vow from 36 years ago that I would never go with an American woman ever again. She says she was from California. When I explained why, she seemed to accept it and let me know that there are some good American women out there, not that I’m looking.
Last night, the bomb dropped. While we were chatting, she started going on about how she didn’t have any money and asked if I could send her $150 for food. I immediately ended the conversation and this morning I ‘unfriended’ her and blocked her. Most of my mind is telling me I did the right thing, that this woman was buttering me up in the hopes I would send her money. However, there is this little voice inside my Asperger’s mind from the past saying that I’m being an a**hole and cruel hearted to this woman. While I have been exploited by women in the past, this voice reminds me that not all women are out to take a man for what they can get and I’m overreacting. Fortunately, my experiences have enabled me to push that voice to one side and one major assistance comes from the fact that I am married to a woman who wouldn’t do that nor would my ex wife had done so nor the lady I had a three year relationship with between my two marriages.
My past plays deeply into the whole matter. These days, I have no issue saying that in my adolescence and early adult years, I was a bit of a loser in regards to women. Even in the service, most of my dealings with the opposite sex, not all, were business transactions. I won’t say more on that subject. As a result, any woman who was nice to me I thought fancied me. It turns out some might have but because of my Asperger’s I didn’t see it or procrastinated. Forty years ago, I would have sent this woman some money in the hopes of a getting with her. Thank God there was no internet back then.
Another issue is that I have always been ‘nice to a fault’ and people have exploited me for it. One reason why was that when I stood up for myself and said “No,” people would all come out against me making out that I was some sort of meanie for doing so. This made me hesitant about saying no and gave me a ‘damned if I do, damned if I don’t’ outlook on life. Fortunately, life has taught me otherwise. FFI: You can click the link and read a previous post.
I have to admit, there is still this little voice inside me suggesting that I am being cruel to this woman and that some readers might attack me for it. However, I am confident that most of you would say that I did the right thing blocking her. In any case, the who thing has sent my Asperger’s mind into a whirlwind.
Whosoever then, looketh upon a woman to lust after her, that is looks on her as to lust and cast about her as to obtain, he is rightly said to have committed adultery with her in his heart.
Matthew 5: 27-28
Note, this verse states that if a man looks upon a woman with lust, he has committed adultery. It doesn’t say that it’s not the man’s fault is the woman is wearing a bikini or a mini skirt or otherwise might be deemed to be inappropriately dressed. It’s not the woman at fault, it’s the man looking at her who is. People should remember this.
After the first day, although it wasn’t always easy, Sean did his best to avoid the terrible trio. For the most part, he was successful. Often, he went home with Jeremy who lived in the opposite direction. They would often play computer games or do homework together despite not being in the same class. He would stay to close to dinner time and then go home without fear of meeting any of his bullies.
School, unfortunately, didn’t afford him the same protection. Tim might have been in his class but didn’t do anything on his own. Sometimes, he would get an angry look from Eddie or John or possibly some of the others in that group but that was all. However, something inside him told Sean not to let his guard down.
Then one chilly day in November, while on the school playground during lunchtime, it happened. Without warning, Sean was suddenly surrounded by Eddie, John, Tim, two other boys and a girl from his grade and two sixth graders. As the pack grabbed their victim, Eddie turned to Jeremy and warned, “Get out of here and if you tell anyone, we’ll come after you.”
With his prey completely subdued, Eddie returned his attention to Sean. “You’re being weird again!” Eddie shouted in Sean’s face before striking him across it with an open hand.
“I didn’t do anything,” Sean tried to protest.
“Yeah, you did, you keep acting weird. Into all that Star Wars shit and you suck at sports.”
“That doesn’t make me weird,” Sean came back in a bold attempt at defense.
Eddie’s response came in the form of another slap across the face, followed up by a punch to the gut.
“Hit him again,” one of the subduers egged him on.
However, Eddie needed no encouragement. He delivered another fist to Sean’s midsection and then a couple more blows to the chest and arms. When they tired of their sport, they let Sean go but not before a stern warning from Eddie, “If you tell on us, you’re dead!” As soon as the tormentors departed, Jeremy rushed to his friend’s side. Helping Sean to recover, he suggested, “You need to tell somebody.”
Sean shook his head, “It will be worse for me if I do.”