Much To Do About Nothing but Still Worried

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accomplishments, anxiety, Asperger's Syndrome, Autism, bullying, He Was Weird, lawyers, Michael D LeFevre, schools, soccer

Well I did it! Today, I went to the public library and the junior high school of the town where I experienced so much bullying between the ages of ten and thirteen and gave them both a copy of “He Was Weird.” In both cases, the librarian and the school secretary were very welcoming towards my donation of the books and both graciously thanked me, accepting the books. In the case of the librarian, it turned out that she lived in Ireland for twenty years and is a staunch Man Utd supporter. So most of our conversation was about English football. While we didn’t talk about soccer, the school secretary was just as friendly in taking my book. As a result, when I drove away, I had a strong sense of mission accomplished. None of the worries about beauracracy or people being awkward by hiding behind officialdom or my biggest worries about someone discovering that I am talking about their town never materialised.

For the next few hours, I was inwardly chastising myself for getting all worried over nothing. Then I realised, if I didn’t get all worked up, that wouldn’t be me and I would have gone the other extreme and possibly would have been caught unawares. Furthermore, there is still the chance that someone in that town will discover that the book is about them and mount a quest to take my scalp. Yes, that is a small worry but while I am prepared for it, I am not going to lose any sleep worrying about it.

All in all, mission accomplished. There are now two copies of “He Was Weird” installed in the town which influenced me to write the book. Most likely, no one will ever figure out that the story is based on me and my horrific sufferings of bullying in that town. Most hopefully, when someone reads it, they will come to realise that they must never ever let such things happen in their town. That itself would be a victory in my mind.

Next post will happen when I get back to the UK

To buy He Was Weird, go to: http://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1414619669&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

Full of Anxieties, But I Have to Do It

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Americans, anxiety, Asperger's Syndrome, Autism, bullying, He Was Weird, intolerance, lawyers, schools, Self Esteem, social settings, stereotypes

 

In just under four days, I am off to New Jersey to spend two weeks with my mother, who hasn’t been in the best of health since her accident at Christmas. I haven’t been to the States or seen my mother in eight years and as she is now 73, Christmas was a big wake up call for me. I’m definitely excited about it, getting to not only see my mother but my sister and my brother, plus the two nieces and one nephew I have never seen. I also will have the chance to officiate a high school football game in America although the Eagles are playing away both Sundays I am there so I will have to wait to get my chance to see an NFL game live.

If I’m so excited about going to the USA, why am I full of anxieties? Well, it’s nothing to do with going anything mentioned above. It’s in relation to my book “He Was Weird.” While I haven’t lived in the town where I suffered so much bullying and bad times that drove me to write the book, my family doesn’t live too far from that town. I could easily not do what I am intending to do but for my own piece of mind, I need to do. Do what? you are probably asking. What I plan to do is to go back to that town where I suffered so much torment and donate a copy of my book to the public library and to the school where the vast majority of the bullying took place. Sounds easy and maybe my fears are unfounded but my fear arises from the idea of what might happen if someone in that town twigs that I am writing about their town. Yes, it is what I am secretly hoping for but whether real or imagined, I am very anxious of the possible backlash.

First, that town is full of lawyers. Some lawyer may try to say that I am defaming the name of their town and sue me. They may also try to legally prove that none of the bullying I suffered ever happened or more probable, wasn’t as bad as I made it out to be. Believe me, it was. Now I know why there is a clause in TV and movie credits saying any relation to those living or dead is purely coincidental. If I said that, I would be lying because “He Was Weird” is definitely based on the hell I suffered and many of the names of the bullies are badly disguised. Therefore, I fear the danger of one of my bullies suing me claiming that I am lying. If approached by one of my old nemesis, my prepared response is “You might have influenced my creation of that character but the character isn’t you.” But I wonder if that’s good enough.

There is something that for me would even be worse that lawsuits. That is instead of the town trying to deny the hell they put me through, they would wear what they did to me as some sort of sick badge of honour. There is precedent to this belief. Apparently, after I moved out of the town, some of the locals boasted that they made me move, like it was all my decision. So instead of being ashamed of what they did to me or trying to deny or downplay it, they would be proud of it. Furthermore, they would go back to the age old bullying tactic of blaming the bullying on the victim, on me. Yes, my Asperger’s caused me to make a lot of social gaffs back then and there are times I wished I could travel back to that time and tell the young me to shut the hell up but it will never justify the hell many in that town put me through.

Another fear comes with something I am planning to post about in more detail in the future. Those who twig and respond to the book will be the ones who weren’t my worst bullies and will try the innocent, “I never did any of that to you” approach. Some will even claim to have liked me back then. One girl, who used to call me mentally retarded, said, when I bumped into her a year later, that she missed me. Maybe she was genuine but I know there were others who wouldn’t be. I have a good response to that in the area of actions speaking louder than words.

Odds are the town probably won’t twig that I am talking about them and even less of a chance that any individuals will associate themselves with any of the characters in the story. However, I have found that if I prepare for something like this, it’s not going to happen but if it does, I won’t be blindsided. Wish me luck as I go exorcise one very big ghost from my past.

I won’t make any formal posts for the next three weeks but I will pop up here every now and again in the mean time.

To buy He Was Weird, go to: http://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1413745743&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

Update! Another Victory For the Bullies

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bullying, intolerance, race relations, schools, teachers

There is some good news relating to my post two weeks ago, “Another Victory For the Bullies,” where a teacher was fired for standing up for a child who was being bullied. A recent news report has stated the the teacher will being filing a law suit in a bid to get her job back and has the support of a local civil rights leader. So far, the school district has not commented. FFI, click the link:  http://www.azcentral.com/story/news/local/scottsdale/2014/10/14/fired-fountain-hills-teacher-stands-actions-alleged-bullying-incident/17280625/

Let’s hope that common sense prevails in the end.

Asperger’s Type Confusion

Tags

19 Minutes, American football, Americans, anxiety, Asperger's Syndrome, Autism, bullying, confusion, D.A.M.P., He Was Weird, Jodi Piccoult, teachers

Some might say that I’m having an Asperger’s type moment and I wouldn’t debate you on this. My problem is that I started a series of posts teachers encouraging bullying and already, I had posted about my own experiences in regard to this and those experienced by Peter Houghton in Jodi Picoult’s novel “19 Minutes.” I have every intention to carry own with the thread and although last week’s post, “Another Victory For the Bullies” wasn’t officially part of the series, it certainly related to the thread. Now, some events have come up in the recent weeks that had me wondering what to do.

See, in the world of Michael, (that’s me for those who didn’t already know) this spanner in the works had my brain housing group spinning as to what to do. I could carry one with the thread I am currently posting on as there were three more posts to write in it but if I did that, I might forget to post on the developments happening now and they would be lost. The alternative would be to post the developments but I then worry about the lack of continuity in the thread and readers might get annoyed about it.

Most people would easily choose one or the other and have good logical reasons, at least in their own mind, about their choice. The worry with me, as with many who suffer with Asperger’s Syndrome is more the consequences of their choice. The dilemma is too great and whatever they choose, the choice is going to be wrong. That’s me in a nutshell. Worse for me is that my mind brings variables into the argument that might not even be there. That’s why I am convinced I have DAMP. DAMP sufferers perceive the world different than your average person. I know many instances from my past that some things that seemed very logical to me, seemed foolhardy to many other people and the thought of this creates extreme anxiety within me.

You’re probably wondering what event is so different that I would worry about the whole thing. To most people, this would seem like nothing but to me, it is a big deal. See, next week, I’m going to the USA for two weeks. I haven’t seen my mother, brother and sister for eight years and my mother’s accident at Christmas time was sort of a wake up call for me. My sister has been running around for her and I thought my visit would give her a break as well. Plus, I have two nieces and a nephew I’ve never met. I have some other activities on the agenda as well. One of these is the opportunity to do something I have always wanted to do since I have been officiating American football in the UK. Bearing anything unforseen, I will be officiating some high school games and I’m looking forward to that. Another and being an American male, I’m a little ashamed to admit this but I have never been to a live NFL game. If the Philadelphia Eagles are at home either of the two Sundays I’m there. I hope to go to the game. If I get to do one of both, this would lead to a second post of things I would still want to do, some of which you might find interesting or at least amusing.

In my mind, I hear some of you shouting, “Listen to your instincts!” but my problem is that I don’t trust my instincts. Right now, they are telling me to post about my experiences and carry on with the teachers encouraging bullying thread after. This is supported by the fact that I may not have access to a computer whilst I’m in the States so the continuity is already broken. Taking a deep breath, I am going to go with my instincts, I just hope I can drown out the other side of my mind telling me I’m making a mistake. BTW, in “He Was Weird,” Mark has a very big debate inside his mind.

Neat post: TBA

To buy He Was Weird, go to: http://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1413229026&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

Another Victory For the Bullies

Tags

academic achievement, Arizona, bullying, He Was Weird, injustice, race relations, schools, stereotypes, teachers, teasing

Yet again, this is not the post advertised in last week’s post. This time, I have a very good reason for not doing so. It seems that knuckle head behaviour has struck yet again, this time in Arizona when a teacher was fired for sticking up for a pupil who was being bullied. For more details of the story click the link: http://www.kpho.com/story/26683767/racially-bullied-student-talks-about-fired-teacher-sticking-up-for-him

This particular case goes very well with the thread I’m doing at the moment. I have had my own experiences where teachers’ actions have influenced the bullying of a child and have highlighted it in mine and other books about bullying but this case takes the biscuit. The boy in question, like Mark in “He Was Weird,” was bullied from the first day he started his new school. He tried to address it but the school staff didn’t seem that bothered and as a result, the bullying worsened. Then a teacher goes and attempts to help the bullied child and she is the one who is fired for using threatening language. It was never clear the words the teacher used in this instance, so where’s the proof?

What this does is send a clear signal to bullies in that school that they can do whatever they like to make another child’s life a complete misery because if a teacher steps in to help, the teacher will be the one in trouble. Furthermore, it will make a teacher think twice about dealing with bullying incidents out of fear for their career. That school should hang its head in shame and the union should fight the case all the way to the state supreme court.

Another important point I have left until now is the fact that the bullied child was black and the bullies where white. The bullying included many racial slurs aimed at the child. The fact that the bullying was racially motivated makes it even worse. Now before I get swamped with responses from a few ignorant white people citing all sorts of instances where white children have been bullied by black ones; let me say that I condemn all bullying no matter who is the giver or receiver of it. Bullying sucks, period. Since this was a school with predominantly white pupils, the incident makes the school look racist. In fact, this goes straight back to the 1950s.

I surely hope common sense prevails here and the teacher is vindicated and allowed to teach elsewhere. I wouldn’t teach at that school again if it had been me. Best yet, I hope the teacher gets zillions in compensation. I have shown that teachers’ actions can sometimes influence pupil bullying but it is also the teacher’s duty to detect and stop bullying whenever it occurs in any school. This tragic case of a teacher getting fired for doing just that is completely wrong.

Nest post: Endgame

To buy He Was Weird, go to: http://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1412619512&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

Do Teachers Encourage Bullying? A View From Jodi Picoult’s “19 Minutes”

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19 Minutes, academic achievement, bullying, He Was Weird, Jodi Piccoult, opinionated man, school shootings, schools, teachers, teasing

Thanks to the generous help from fellow blogger Opinionated Man, http://aopinionatedman.com/ I have had quite a few new followers in recent weeks. Therefore, I feel the need to mention that when I first started Peaceful Rampage, I compared and contrasted aspects from my book “He Was Weird” to four other books that were about school shootings. Obviously, one of these was “19 Minutes” by Jodi Picoult. I won’t go into unnecessary details about the book but you can read my previous posts about Jodi’s best seller. A little boasting here, but she read two of my posts about her book and she emailed me stating that my comments were very thoughtful and very fair. Although I was slightly disappointed that she won’t take up my idea about a joint writing venture on the subject.

With this post, I am relating “19 Minutes” to my previous post about teachers encouraging bullying. Let’s start with the protagonist, Peter Houghton, the boy who gets badly bullied from day one to the point where at 17, shoots up his school. That’s all we really need to know about him here. Now, let’s look at the teachers. First, there is Ed McCabe, a math teacher who tries to help Peter somewhat, even bailing him out of a potentially bad situation when Peter goes to a gay bar. The reason why I say somewhat here is that Ed does little or nothing about the bullying Peter is getting from the jocks. While he doesn’t actually encourage the bullying, he does nothing more after Peter refuses any help from the teacher. Peter continues to get bullied. The twist in the story is that he is the only teacher who Peter shoots in his rampage but it has little to do with his previous interactions with him. Ed McCabe sacrifices himself to save the children in his class.

The second teacher in the story is Dusty Spears, a gym teacher and sports coach at the school. He passively encourages the bullying of Peter by turning a blind eye to it and using the handwringing “boys will be boys” excuse, even at Peter’s trial. It can be argued that Spears is a typical sports coach in the sense that since it is the players on his team who are bullying Peter, he takes a even more distorted view of the bullying. After all, he wants to win and having one of his students suspended or even kicked off the team by the school won’t help his cause. Therefore, he does bury his head in the sand and leaves poor Peter to his fate.

In both cases, there is a case that both teachers contributed to the bullying of Peter which led to him snapping and shooting up his school. True, that of the gym teacher was more apparent and contributed a great deal more, even encouraging the bullying by his attitude about it. While it’s not actually mentioned in the story, I can plainly see that the bullies would have taken this non action as a green light to do whatever they want. The fact that he seems to defend their actions is even more damning. However, the math teacher isn’t blameless either. While I can sympathise with the enormous workload of teachers having taught myself, Ed still could have informed senior management or wrote a statement, anything to draw the appropriate attention to the bullying. That would have saved many lives in the story. The sad and shocking thing is that this readily happens in real life too.

Next post: Teachers Encouraging Bullying Viewed From Nancy Garden’s “Endgame”

To buy “He Was Weird” go to: http://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1412193796&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird