Not Looking For A Label

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academic achievement, Asperger's Syndrome, Autism, Facebook, He Was Weird, intolerance, labels, social media, Susan Boyle, teasing

Not too long ago, I posted about why I think I have Asperger’s Syndrome. When the post appeared on Facebook, many of my friends there stated that I was a great guy and that I don’t need a label. Of course, I am extremely thankful for all of the kind words those friends had for me and I told them all so. I also agree with them on not needing a label because I wasn’t looking for one.

Very recently a celebrity was recently diagnosed with having Asperger’s Syndrome. Many people suspected that something wasn’t quite right with Susan Boyle to begin with. When she made her big debut on Britain’s Got Talent, both Simon Cowell and Amanda Holden were patronising in their attitudes towards her when she first got on stage. They probably thought that she was going to be terrible. It was only when the nation got to hear that beautiful voice of hers and Simon Cowell saw pound signs flash before his eyes that she was in any way taken seriously.

Susan Boyle

As a child, it was thought that Susan had brain damage. This was because when she was a child, (she’s the same age as me) very little was known about Asperger’s Syndrome. As a result, she was thought to be stupid and treated as such. Other children often called her “Simple Susie” and made her childhood life a misery. Needless to say, she has the last laugh now but I bet that those more painful childhood memories haven’t completely gone away.

Compare me to Susan Boyle. No, I don’t mean singing, there’s no comparison there as I can’t carry a tune in a bucket. Throughout my younger life and probably a little in my older, I have been branded “weird,” “strange,” “simple,” “retarded,” “stupid,” “doofy” and that’s just the ones I can remember at the moment. Then there were the names directed as my supposed sexuality. “Faggot” was a popular one growing up. When I went to college and university and got good grades, the conclusion drawn was simply that I had book sense but no common sense. What is common sense anyway? It’s what society believes is normal train of thought but as I have stated previously, what seems logical to me doesn’t seem logical to many people. Unfortunately, the more intolerant and ignorant people in the world refuse to see it that way.

Book Reference Alert: Mark has the same problems in “He Was Weird” and I probably magnify it even more than what I have to deal with. His sixth grade teacher is rather impressed and frustrated with Mark. Frustrated because Mark sometimes missed the intended point of the lesson but impressed because he can pick out a small but important morsel of information that even the teacher can’t see. The problem for Mark is that his classmates don’t want to see this but instead want to pick on him for being stupid.

Susan Boyle and I have suffered similar occurrences in our youth. She has had the last laugh by becoming a superstar and if enough of you buy “He Was Weird,” maybe I can achieve the same. (Yes, shameless advertising) Neither of us are looking to be labelled. Asperger’s Syndrome isn’t meant to be a label. For me it would provide answers to many of the things that have gone on in my early life.

I would like to wish all of my readers a very Merry Christmas or if you don’t celebrate it, Happy Holidays. I hope to get out one more post before the New Year.

Next post: TBA

To buy He Was Weird, go to: http://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-LeFevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1387923909&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

 

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Bullying And The Walk On By Attitude

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Asperger's Syndrome, bullying, fights, He Was Weird, lawyers, Mothers

In a scene from “He Was Weird,” Mark is spectating a fight between two third graders after school one day. His mother, eager to go and seeing that the fight is decidedly one sided, steps in to break the fight up. However, the other kids watching aren’t so keen for the fight to end, so some of them throw themselves in front of her in an effort to bar her path. Also, one of Mark’s bullies at the time gets up in her face and demands that she lets them fight. Not to be deterred, she forces her way through and separates the combatants after which she, in no uncertain terms, lets the young crowd know how disrespectful they are. In Mark’s Asperger’s mind, the anxieties of what will be said to him the following day about his mother breaking up the fight plague him the entire evening and next morning. Fortunately, only one kid says something to him the next day and it’s in such a way that Mark is easily able to ignore it.

This actually happened to me and my mother pretty much as I described it in the book. The only thing I left out was that my mother gave me something to say if one kid in particular had said anything to me the next day since it was his younger brother who was on the losing end. She told me if he says anything to tell him that she saved his brother’s life. Fortunately, he never said anything.

That occurred back in 1972 and I fear that the situation for adults has only become worse. It seems that children are free to beat lumps out of each other and bully other children and if the adult steps in, they will come out the worse. I can’t help thinking that nowadays,if my mother had actually physically removed a child from her path, the parents would have immediately sued or worse, charged her with an assault. There have been many instances where something like this has happened.

In fact, it happens later in the story when Mark’s grandfather pulls a boy who has attacked Mark off of him. The boy goes home and tells his parents that the grandfather had assaulted him and he is arrested. While fortunately, the grandfather isn’t charged, the fallout for Mark is worse. The boy taunts Mark about his grandfather going to jail and his mother is upset because of the same fear and blames it on Mark not standing up for himself.

But my novel isn’t the only time I have written about this. Two years ago, I wrote a short story called “I Have Proof,” where a man witnesses a group of children assaulting and bullying another child. Tim, the main character, doesn’t directly intervene but discreetly takes photos of the incident on his mobile phone to show the police. Let’s just say the result isn’t so cut and dry but if you want to read it, click this link:

http://www.authorsden.com/visit/viewshortstory.asp?AuthorID=151208&id=53444

It is occurrences like these why adults are no longer willing to get involved in incidents of bullying. If they do, they will be the ones who end up in trouble, especially by those parents who do not care what their precious was doing, they are simply thinking “money.” Therefore, it is far less hassle to let the victim suffer as opposed to getting involved and coming out worse.

Now before anyone thinks I’m blaming parents for the walk on by attitude, I’m not. Sure there are a few who think “money” or “compo” at the first instance their child appears to be wronged but most parents aren’t that bad or so I hope. No, I blame the carpet bagging litigation crocodiles who will take any case wrong or right to fill their hungry appetites. Why do you think that when after Mark shoots up the school, they immediately descend offering closure to the victims?

Obviously, my first reaction is there needs to be changes to the law and loopholes need to be tightened up to prevent misuse by the crocodiles. However, I believe more knowledge on where they stand made readily available to adults. Maybe even free advice given by the crocodiles so adults know where they stand in regards to the law. Maybe then, we won’t have the adults walking on by when a child who is being bullied cries out for help.

Next post: Not Looking for a Label

To buy He Was Weird, go to: http://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-LeFevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1387315448&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

 

Sandy Hook Shooting, One Year On- My Thoughts

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Asperger's Syndrome, bullying, D.A.M.P., He Was Weird, intolerance, Jello Biafra, Michael D LeFevre, Sandy Hook, school shootings, siblings

Before I launch into this post, I would like to begin with a development from my last one about being nervous at a reading. I had another book reading last night in Bristol and wasn’t so nervous and it paid off. There was more enquiry about my book and as a result, I sold all three of the books I brought with me. There is a humorous twist to the evening. The venue, Hydra Books, had double booked the evening with another event. Therefore, I ended up reading parts of “He Was Weird” to the Bristol branch of the Socialist Workers Party. I read the part I always read but I also read the radio advert for a law firm and that greatly amused the comrades. They gave me their newspaper and suggested I get in touch with their office as they might be interested in reviewing it. So overall, a successful night. One other success was that I met a man who has met one of my personal heroes, Jello Biafra, a great night indeed.

Nearly a year has passed since the terrible shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newton, Connecticut. My heart still goes out for all of those who were gunned down on the day and their families who are still picking up the pieces and trying to figure out why this happened.

Sandy Hook Shooting

When I first heard the news, I was still writing the final chapters of “He Was Weird.” Although I had long since written the chapter where Mark had gone in shot up his school, the events still gave me temporary writer’s block, which lasted for over a week. For some reason, I felt it somehow wrong to finish my book so close to a similar tragic event. Even when I did get back to writing, it took a while before I got back into full swing and it wasn’t until February when I finished the entire story.

As I read and learn more about the event, I can say for sure that this was one school shooting were I can’t say “This could have been me.” I never ever would have dreamed as an adult going into a school and mowing down so many innocent children in cold blood. Still, I wonder if Adam Lanza and I were alike in one aspect. Reports have said that Lanza had a fascination with school shootings and this has left me asking myself if I have the same. In the two years it took me to write, I have read reports of school shootings and four other novels dealing with the subject though my motivation with the latter was more down to my fear of being accused of plagiarism. Still, that little gremlin perched on my shoulder is whispering that I might be. I do my best to ignore him.

Unfortunately, despite all the talk of gun control and making schools safer, more school shootings have occurred since Sandy Hook. The recent one in a middle school in Nevada where a pupil shot a teacher dead and wounded two other pupils before killing himself has me going back to my original thought of “It could have been me.” I am grateful that I never had any access to guns back when I was between 10-13 and that mass school shootings were unheard of. Otherwise, it very easily could have been me.

I wrote “He Was Weird” to close the door on a past that had continued to haunt me every now and again for the past forty years. Mark’s revenge was something I would have loved to do then but I’m glad that I am only able to write about it. I hope that “He Was Weird” will open debate on the subject and the causes of school shootings: guns, bullying, schools and law enforcement being inefficient in dealing with it and attitudes of parents and other adults. I don’t want any more tragedies, but I am afraid that more will continue to happen. To paraphrase my hero, There will always be some vacant stranger who is raised on guns, raised on hate, has a condition like Asperger’s Syndrome or DAMP and most people don’t or won’t understand it, perceive the stranger to be weird and bully him or her because of it, experience ineffective management of the bullying by schools, be made to feel a failure because of more successful siblings,  relatives or friends. Someone like that will always find a way to be pop star for a day and we will tune in and watch every time.

Nest post: Bullying and the Walk On By Attitude

To buy He Was Weird, go to: http://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-LeFevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1386874112&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

Why Was I So Nervous?

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academic achievement, Asperger's Syndrome, He Was Weird, Michael D LeFevre, presentations, Self Esteem, speeches

My attempt to criticise why I let my nerves get to me at a reading of my latest book. Before I go further, I would once again like to thank Annarosemeads for having the courage to post about her latest speaking experience. This in turn gave me the idea to post about mine here.

Very strange, I had read the same exact passage to the writers’ group in my local Stroud and I have experience galore in reading in public, especially as a supply teacher. So, why when I read “He Was Weird” to the writers’ group in Cirencester was I so nervous?
It could be that it was because I didn’t know any of the people there or maybe because I was the very first one to go up. But this wasn’t the first time either of those phenomena has happened to me in the past. There could be a further explanation. The fear that the subject matter of my book would not go well with the audience. Rural Gloucestershire is very peace loving and so a story about a school shooting wouldn’t be well received; no matter how much sympathy I heaped upon the main character before he commits his deed. Or it could be a combination of all these things.
I worry because I know I didn’t read very well that night. Nerves allowed my usual reading affliction of my eyes not being able to keep up with my brain. My mind is usually three words ahead of what my eyes are reading. Therefore, I stumbled over words and even skipped the odd one, so I don’t think it sounded as well as it could have.
Trying to take the positive, I did have one person inquire about the book afterwards and he said he was going to buy it in the local shop. (I did offer to sell him the copy I had but he said he was skint.) On the flip side, the organiser was talking about giving me my own evening at a future meeting but no such discussion was continued after. That has me a little paranoid.
I know I have to make it a one off because I have two book readings in the next month and a few schools are interested in me coming in and speaking to their pupils. The bullying theme behind the book has them interested. So, I must learn from this because I know that my book is definitely worth reading.

Next post: Sandy Hook- One Year On, My Thoughts

To buy He Was Weird, go to: http://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-LeFevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1386346271&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird