Things That Prove My Insanity- Creation v Evolution

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Asperger's Syndrome, Autism, Bible, christianity, Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, films, Jesus Christ, Mormons, religion, solar system

Edge of Space

Let’s begin with one that has been swirling around in my mind for many years, my thoughts on the origin of our world. True, I was brought up in a Christian household and attended Sunday School nearly every Sunday as a child and went to church on most Sundays as well. Therefore, I have been taught all about how God created the Earth, sun and moon and everything else. However, I did receive a good education and attended college and therefore have heard non religious theories about how our world was formed and evolved. Having absorbed all of this information and processed it around my strange but wonderful mind, I am now ready to put forward my own theory. We’ll call it Mike’s Theory.

First of all, evolutionists and some creationists as well have the wrong view of how God might have created the world. They think of God as some sort of cowboy builder going around the space with a big cigar in his mouth, okay I’m kidding about the cigar, and saying, “Ooh, I think we’ll put a planet here and maybe if we hook it up with that star over there, we can get light for it” I could go on but I won’t. Here’s the thing people on both sides of the argument forget. If God created everything, he also created the laws of science and would have used those laws in forming our world. Therefore, he would have sent heavenly bodies flying across the solar system and crashing into each other. The moon could very well have been formed by a smaller body crashing into our Earth and then breaking off with the bit which would become our moon stuck in Earth’s gravitational pull. In any case, would have been much easier for God to use these scientific laws as opposed to creating a world out of nothing. After all the resources required would have already been there for him.

God the cowboy builder and I suppose that’s his companion Jesus behind him.

Of all the religious theories about creation I have heard, my best conclusions came during my decade in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, also called the Mormons. They don’t believe that the world was created out of nothing either. In fact, their belief says that matter was already floating around in space where God would have wanted to make a world so he just went there and organised the matter into something. Again, he would have used the laws of science to help him in organizing his world.

Now comes the length of time it took for our world to form. I don’t think the world was made in six 24 hour long days. While, I’m not trying to convert anyone to Mormonism here, I do think their interpretation of day works for me. There are several definitions of the word day. First, there’s the 24 hour period we all know. Then the Bible says a day is like 1000 years but the meaning of day I use here is the unspecified amount of time. Right now, we are living in the day of technology. Can anyone say when that day began or when it will end? I can’t. So, each of those six ‘days’ where God created the world were unspecified times. Any of those days could have lasted millions of years for all we know. It would have taken time for the Earth to heat and cool and then for oceans to form and then plants, animals and finally humans. The length of time of each of those days is not known to us.

Now onto humans. Even the Bible says that animals were around before humans. Again, animals could have been around for millions of years and many species, including the dinosaurs, would have come and gone. Eventually ape type creatures would have also appeared and they being the closest relatives to man, would have been the springboard to which man was created. There could have been Neanderthals and Crow Magnon people before modern humans were on the Earth and even co existed with them. We don’t know and while religious literature gives us no indication of this, it is wrong to discount that they were never there.

So I guess I am a creationist however, I believe that biblical and other religious accounts of how our world came to be aren’t complete. Maybe the ancient writers thought we wouldn’t understand all the science or more probably, didn’t understand it themselves. Whether or not you believe in God creating the world or evolution, you have to admit, whoever did it did an amazing job. It’s just a damn shame that humans seem intent on messing it up.

If you think I’m weird for my theories, then you should read He Was Weird, here’s the link: https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1504541929&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

 

 

 

 

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Things That Prove My Insanity- Introduction

Tags

Asperger's Syndrome, Autism, D.A.M.P., opinionated man, Politics, religion, sports

The only truly logical person I know.

During the half century plus six years, I have been alive, many thoughts have come and gone in my mind. This is a trait with many people with Asperger’s Syndrome and DAMP, two things I believe I have but have never been formally diagnosed with. You can believe that many a topic from sports to politics to religion have danced around my brain daring me to make some sort of sense of it all in my mind. I have come to my own conclusions on many of these topics while others are still providing lots of questions inside my brain. Therefore, what I am going to do now is to share my thoughts on many things here on Peaceful Rampage.

I’ve never been very vocal about my thoughts, mainly because out of fear that they won’t match others. See, one issue I have spent a lifetime grappling with is my belief that if someone has a different view than me, then mine must be wrong. I wrote a post about this many moons ago called, “I’m Always Wrong,” if you would like to read this. These days, I have come to the understanding that my beliefs might not agree with others and in many cases I am probably in the minority. After all, I was only one of 2% of Americans who voted for Jill Stein for president last year. So, I know that what I am going to post over the next few posts may not agree with the norm, I am going to do so anyway because the objective here is to point out things that prove my insanity. Some of my beliefs and theories may seem outlandish to some.

Green Party Candidate Jill Stein

I hope that you will come along for the ride. You may find what you read amusing and even enlightening but you will also get an insight into the workings of my weird and wonderful brain. Anyone who doesn’t agree with any of the points I make, they are free to tell me they disagree here. I am open minded although unlike me of the past, I won’t automatically change my thoughts to your way of thinking. The only thing I ask of everyone is that if any debate should develop, people express their opinions in a civilized manner and not resort to hurling insults at one another.

One last point, my other fear is that I am straying away from the original objective of this blog, to sell my book “He Was Weird.” It is my bizarre hope that once people are introduced to my insane mind, they will see what motivated me to write the book and hopefully but it.

To buy He Was Weird, go to: https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1504034377&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

Interest or Obsessions?

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academic achievement, American football, Asperger's Syndrome, Autism, BBC, books, bullying, He Was Weird, ice hockey, Interests, intolerance, music, obsessions, schools, solar system, stereotypes, World War II

What is normally found with people who have Asperger’s Syndrome is that many are really focused on their personal interests, sometimes to the point where it looks like an obsession. From my experiences, many of the people I work with have their own interests and can become very obsessive over them. Take the two service users I work with most of the time. One likes to read the Teletext pages on his TV to keep abreast of world news and he has a ritual in town where he counts cars. The objective of this is only clear in his mind. The other gentleman has different interests and can border on obsession. He is interested in wars, especially both world ones, naturally disasters and attacks on humans by large predators. I’m talking sharks and crocodiles mainly. He helps to satisfy these interests by purchasing DVDs, post cards and models and if we didn’t keep it in check, would spend all his money on it.

I realized many years ago that my interests have sometimes bordered on obsession, especially when I was a lot younger. Like my client, I too liked war. In fourth grade it was the Native American wars with the US Cavalry and one George Armstrong Custer became a hero of mine. The war interest re-established itself inside my mind in my last three years of high school but this time it was World War II. I began collecting the Time-Life books on it, which I still have.

General George A Custer

However, my interests came and went, sometimes with the school year. In fifth grade, war changed to sports and that changed within itself when I hit sixth grade. My fifth grade interest in American Football gave way to ice hockey. While I still loved those sports in seventh grade, they took a back seat to an interest in the solar system after learning about it in school. I especially have a fondness for the planet Uranus, don’t ask where that came from. Thanks to the film in 1975, my freshman year in high school was spent in what some called obsession of Rollerball. And for those who read my 80smetalman blog, I would be lying if I didn’t admit that I had an ongoing love for music, at least hard rock and heavy metal anyway.

My favourite planet other than our own, Uranus

While these interests came and went, they never left my mind totally. My fourth grade interest in General Custer laid dormant in my mind enough for me to write my junior year history essay on the Battle of Little Big Horn. He also propped up when I watched a documentary on the Civil War and was quite pleased that he played a role in the Union victory at Gettysburg, even if it was done by a series of reckless charges. World War 2 interest has always remained with me although like most of America in the 1980s, I too was fascinated with the Vietnam films. I still enjoy watching “Rollerball” and love American football and ice hockey. However, my interest in the planets in our solar system is the most recent one to return.

Of course I can say that my interest in it never left. It made a strong comeback in 1999 when the BBC aired and eight part series called “The Planets.” I really enjoyed that series despite being a little disappointed that NASA found my favourite planet boring when Voyager II flew past. But as it’s the rule with the BBC, if I really like something they show, they never show it again. Recently, I finally purchased the series on DVD and am watching it again. It might be out of date by now, for instance, the planned Cassini mission to Saturn has happened in 2003, but that hasn’t stopped my enjoyment of it. Plus, whenever I get the chance when supply teaching, I will teach a lesson about the solar system.

The problem with having strong interests is how the ‘rest of the world’ perceives it. In school, I was often ridiculed and even bullied for having these strong interests. “Is that all you think about?” was a standard question asked of me a lot during this time. People’s justification for their intolerance and bullying was that my constant talk about my interests annoyed them. However, what I should have said to them back then was their slight ‘annoyance’ was no excuse for violence or threats of it. In many cases, these so called annoyed people simply let it annoy them as an excuse to bully. A simple, “I’m not into that” would have stopped me from talking about it.

I wonder how many people with Asperger’s Syndrome were bullying victims because of people’s ‘annoyance’ with their interest or obsessions. I know Mark was in “He Was Weird” and like when I went through at the time, the adults blamed him for going on too much about his interests. That’s a big trait of someone with ASD. They are interested in it so much, they want to talk about it. Those in the ‘normal’ world need to understand that and while they have every right to not be interested in the interests of another, bullying, intimidation and violence is not the way to get them to stop.

To buy He Was Weird, go to: https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1500801442&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

 

 

 

 

 

Patterns of Abuse | How To Recognize a Mind Fuck?

Tags

anxiety, Asperger's Syndrome, Autism, bullying, teasing

This Hits the Nail on the Head for Me

 

American Badass Activists

Fuck being a victim, or continue experiencing abuse after it’s spotted.

If I can recognize it, and when I do recognize it, done. No apologies. And an extra go-fuck-yourself automatically included. Free of charge. 

The trick is how to recognize an abusive relationship when Autistic (or Neurodiverse) traits make it not understood until far too late.

Cutting ties to an abusive person includes a few consistent patterns in my experience — actually all my past abusers from childhood to recent (physical, sexual, emotional or gaslighting type) shared these traits:

I’m to blame. They are the victim and I’m the one that caused the issues and at fault for the abuse. If the abuser suffers any consequences for their behaviors, that’s some fault of mine they had to suffer.

The abuser is always publicly, loudly, quietly, always the victim. Someone is always at fault for their behaviors and no responsibility is…

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Music Can Soothe, Even in a Crowd

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anxiety, Asperger's Syndrome, Autism, confusion, D.A.M.P., Download, music

Three weeks ago, I went to the Download Festival. For those who don’t know, Download is a huge three day heavy metal festival that takes place every year at Donington Race Track in the UK. I had a great time over the three days, enjoying some magnificent musical acts as well as a wrestling event on the Saturday. I saw bands, I’ve grown up with or have been listening to for ages as well as bands who I had never heard of but impressed the hell out of me. I won’t go into details about the festival but if you want, you can read all the details on my 80smetalman’s Blog.

The Download Festival

What I’m going to write about in regards to Download is a self discovery I made about myself that weekend. Normally, I get very anxious in huge crowds. Many people with Aspereger’s Syndrome do. While I can control it, being in a crowded super market does send the anxiety levels up several levels. What can really send it up very high is when I’m in a crowded aisle and can’t find the item I am looking for. If I can’t find what I am seeking straight away, it’s not unusual for me to leave that aisle and come back later when it’s not as crowded.

It would appear to be obvious that at a festival with tens of thousands of people, my anxiety levels would have gone through the roof. They didn’t. In fact, they stayed quite low, even during the Saturday Night Headliner, Rob Zombie, when everyone was packed in so tight, they could hardly move. My only worry was that I wasn’t able to take as many pictures of Rob as I wanted to because I could hardly move. So the question is: Why I wasn’t so anxious then?

My answer to this was the fact that I was enjoying the music. Rob Zombie not only delivered some great music, he also had a kick ass stage show. The fact that I was enjoying myself with the music I love so much overrode any anxious worries about being in a crowd. This happened a lot throughout the weekend. Enjoying a weekend of great music, I had no anxieties about crowds. Even crowd surfers, although a nuisance at times, didn’t send me into overload. It has been said that many people with Asperger’s Syndrome or what has been called ‘pure’ autism can find relief in music and that music and help soothe their anxieties. I found it true in my case during this weekend.

I did have one anxious moment on the Sunday. After one of the bands finished, I was supposed to meet my stepson and his friend. Failure to locate them combined with walking around and through a massive crowd did begin to send my levels up. There was no music going on at the time to calm me down either. Fortunately, I did find a seem in the crowd and went through it and not long after I found my stepson and therefore, avoided any mental catastrophe. If I did have a meltdown, it wouldn’t have lasted long because the next band would have been on stage soon enough.

To buy He Was Weird, go to https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1498766467&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Humble Thank You

Tags

Asperger's Syndrome, Autism, confusion, D.A.M.P., empathy, Great Britain, Mothers

Thanks to all of those who visited my last post about heading north. Even four likes makes me feel good to know that there are others out there who can empathize. Having returned from Grimsby, I can say that my mother in law is as well as can be expected. However, her dementia is severe enough that she will probably never return to her home and will live out her remaining days in a nursing home. In her case, that’s not such a bad thing. But thanks to all who shared their concern.

I’m Not Alone With My Strange Thoughts

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anxiety, Asperger's Syndrome, Autism, books, fights, films, Gender, He Was Weird, ice hockey, sexism

Throughout my life, I have been made to feel that there must be something wrong with me if I have interests which are not considered ‘the norm.’ What is normal anyway? There have been times when I have made to feel abnormal because of certain interests. In this case, as seen in last week’s post, it is my excitement when I see women engaged in acts of physical aggression.

Maybe it’s because of my Asperger’s, though I’m not using it to justify, but I have openly admitted that I get enjoyment out of the above. However, I think most men do, at least I’m honest about it. Throughout my life, whenever a female fight broke out, all males in the vicinity flocked like predators to a wounded prey to watch and they’ll be the most vocal about it. I’ve even witnessed occurrences in films and television where men have reacted the same way as if a live event. The problem is that most men don’t want to admit it, especially around women. I have been in this boat as well. However, my problem is that I could never keep a lid on it for long. That’s a trait of Asperger’s, most people who have the condition are sometimes too brutally honest about things like that.

Another reason why I know I’m not alone with my thoughts on this subject is the fact that it has now become so available thanks to the internet. It is extremely simple for anyone to find a women’s wrestling or a catfighting website. Plus there are plenty of material on Youtube. So if these things are so easily available, there must be a huge demand for it.

Before anyone simply writes this off as a typical man thing, I have also observed many women react the same way when men went at it. I mention in “He Was Weird” that at the elementary school, there seemed to be a fight every week. This was based on truth. There seemed to be that many fights at my school in fifth grade. Except for one girl bout, all the other fights were boys. When these broke out, the girls were just as quick as the boys to come, watch and cheer. Furthermore, there seems to be just as many females as males at pro wrestling events and I’ve heard ladies get rather vocal when fights broke out in ice hockey games. My own personal experience was when I went to a wrestling event and the advertised women’s match never took place. I questioned this with the ring announcer who gave a plausible explanation for why that match never happened. However, when I was questioning it, some woman walking past remarked, “He’s just mad because he couldn’t perv out on the ladies.” My response was, “So, it gave you another men’s match for you to do that.” She seemed to smile at that but I thought it was a good comeback.

Ronda Roussey and Michelle Rodriguez in Fast and Furious 7. Possibly the greatest movie female fight ever.

Now that subject is exhausted let me move to another one where I don’t think I’m alone in my opinion. This is the case of visiting Eastern Europe, which has become a popular tourist destination in the past thirty years. However, I have no desire to see Eastern Europe. If anything, I had more of an interest in visiting Eastern Europe before the last thirty years, when it was under Communism. I’ve been told if I said that to any Eastern European over thirty, they’d probably slap me and I wouldn’t blame them. Communism did suck for those living under it at the time but I wanted to see that for myself. For me, the collapse of Communism has taken away my desire to go there. Now, Eastern Europe has become just another tourist trap.

I’ve been told that not many people share my view but I think there are more people who do than what those others think. Like me, Eastern Europe has lost its appeal to these people because it’s not different on account of being ruled by Communism. I wonder how many. Now, I don’t want those countries to go back to Communism just so I can visit. That wouldn’t be right but don’t expect me to want to go there.

To buy He Was Weird go to https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1494270733&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

 

 

 

 

 

Does This Make Me Weird, Perverted or Something Else?

Tags

Asperger's Syndrome, Autism, BBC, fights, films, Great Britain, He Was Weird, sexism

Par for the course now, many of my posts lead onto further posts and last week’s had led to my thoughts now. Last post, I talked about how I would be wary if the British Broadcasting Company (BBC) made a movie about my book, “He Was Weird.” I won’t go back over covered ground so if you’re reading Peaceful Rampage for the first time, then go back and read that post at your leisure.

What I am talking about here is one particular scene from the book. It has been called by some, the girl fight. Most readers deduce from the story that Mark’s one love interest, Lisa, is also getting bullied. Mark’s actions have an impact on her and her family. In fact, her father takes her away for the summer because of all the press attention afforded her through her brief liaison with Mark. She returns home after the summer and goes back to school. On the first day, she is accosted by her bullies, actually her chief bully and the bully’s followers. When Lisa tries to avoid confrontation, the chief bully remarks, “What are you gonna do? Get a gun and shoot me like your boyfriend did in New Jersey.” At this point, Lisa snaps and goes for her bully resulting in a one sided mauling of the bully.

Thoughts of how this fight would be made on the big screen fall into two camps. Camp one is the BBC. Like I said in the previous post, the BBC shies away from violence. Plus, there is a strong feminist core with the corporation who would think it wrong to see two girls engage in a fight no matter what the result or intention. Many readers are with Lisa in this part. However, in a BBC film, the fight would have been relegated to a face slap with the bully running off in tears, vowing to get revenge on the assailant. To me, that wouldn’t have been enough revenge against Lisa’s bully.

Camp two comes out of Hollywood. Throughout the century of film, there have been a good number of movies that had female fight scenes. Just check out Youtube. Therefore, Hollywood would have had the fight in its full glory. The downside to this is that it would not have been so one sided. From what I’ve seen from Hollywood, Lisa and her foe would have rolled around on the ground for a bit with some punches thrown both ways before Lisa finally prevailed. For me, that would have diminished the impact of the revenge she finally gets on her bullies. But to Hollywood, that wouldn’t have mattered because the men in the audience get to see a good ‘girl fight.’ BBC and Hollywood, one extreme or the other.

Ronda Roussey and Michelle Rodriguez in Fast and Furious 7. Possibly the greatest movie female fight ever. Would it be like that in “He Was Weird?” 

Now this brings me to the crux of the post. See, I would have been one of those men in the audience who would have been glad to see that female fight. I have always loved watching such things, starting when I saw my first lady’s wrestling match on TV when I was eight. With my Autistic anxieties, I’ve been afraid to speak out about it out of fear of being branded a perv. Especially as I find myself unable to explain exactly why this is the case. Furthermore, I fear that some people out there think that I put that girl fight into the story in order to get some sort of erotic thrill out of it. I assure you, that was not in mind at the time I wrote it. In “He Was Weird,” I wanted to show that Mark’s violent way of dealing with his bullies gave other victims the courage to stand up to their bullies in a less violent way. Lisa surely gets her revenge on her bullies. Hopefully that would be the conclusion of all of those who read that part. My fear is that should it be made into a film, that impact would be lost.

To buy He Was Weird go to https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1493759398&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Confusion of Religion and Music

Tags

Asperger's Syndrome, Autism, books, christianity, Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, confusion, contradiction, He Was Weird, Marine Corps, Mormons, music, religion

Many Born Again Christians who knew me in my teens and young adult years blamed the Marine Corps for my straying from the faith. Many but not all because some blamed music. The funny thing was the fact that there was a great deal of truth in that but not as some might imagine. See, I wasn’t turned from my faith because I began listening to Motley Crue albums, no, music played a role in my disassociation with Born Again Christianity in a different way, which I will now explain.

When I was fifteen, I worked the first of three summers at a Bible Camp based on the one mentioned in “He Was Weird.” My musical knowledge at the time was limited to AM radio and it was meeting people at the camp who had much more extensive musical knowledge who enlightened my musical experiences beyond that of mainstream radio. During the summer of 1976, I was introduced to musical artists such as Bob Dylan, Led Zeppelin, Jim Croce and even KISS. Although I knew of the Beatles, thanks to one friend, by the time the summer finished, I could practically sing the Sgt Pepper album by heart. What all of these musically wise co-workers all had in common was the fact that they were all very strong Christians. When the summer was over, I further investigated my new knowledge and began exploring musicians on my own initiative. That’s how a became a big Jefferson Starship fan. Furthermore, my musical knowledge would grow deeper when I would return to work at the camp over the next two summers.

Sure, there were those of the older generation and some younger ones who declared rock music to be of the devil. It was after the third summer when I heard someone from my local church youth group state that KISS was an anagram for Knights in Satan’s Service and I stopped listening to them. But for the most part, I listened to what I wanted without any finger pointing. In addition, when the church went roller skating, no one stopped the rink deejay from playing main stream music. So, I saw nothing wrong with listening to music.

My musical knowledge and appreciation expanded thousands fold when I joined the marines. It opened up my experiences to all sorts of music including my love for Southern Rock. Therefore, when I left the service, I had all sorts of musical knowledge and experiences to build upon and was as knowledgeable as many of my contemporaries. As for being a Born Again Christian, I still had the faith but by that time, I was using Ephesians Chapter 2 verses 8 and 9 to justify not bothering with the works. That didn’t stop one of my old friends trying to bring me ‘back to the fold.’

I went to church with my friend and even to some of his young adult evenings. I found them fun but there was no spiritual uplifting for me. Then at one such function, those Christians began talking about the evils of rock music and how it was of the devil. My friend even confessed that he was having a difficult time in destroying his record collection to which one person advised him to simply put them in the bath and turn the water on to warp them.

This is what I found confusing. I had come to love rock music through friends who were just as good Christians, maybe better, than the ones who were now denouncing music. This contradiction caused great confusion in my mind because I saw nothing spiritually wrong with most music. If anything contributed to my divorce from this form of Christianity, it was this confusion over music.

Yes, KISS was still a religious football kicked around by these Christians as an example of the evils of rock and roll but further artists were being thrown in. Michael Jackson was attacked because he was a Jehovah’s Witness and buying his records was supporting that ‘false’ faith. Then more anagrams came in. The band WASP was awarded two: We Are Satan’s People and We Are Sexual Perverts. Furthermore, female artists Stevie Nicks and Grace Slick both supposedly practiced witchcraft and a couple of years later, so did Ann and Nancy Wilson from Heart. To me, it was just getting ridiculous. Then the final straw came after Live Aid when these so called Christians condemned the artists who performed saying they should have given 10% of their money instead of twenty minutes of their time. I wonder how many of these ‘Christians’ gave that much of their money. If it wasn’t that, my final straw with Born Again Christianity would have come a year later when these persons would show up at concerts and tell us we were all going to hell for seeing a concert.

WASP

My attitudes towards  music remained with me when I began investigating the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, (Mormons.) During one of the discussions, I was ready to come out and ask the missionaries teaching us if I joined their church, would I be expected to burn my AC/DC albums. Fortunately, my then wife was a bit more diplomatic and managed to steer the conversation to that vein so my question was answered.  Mormonism is more of a play on the conscience. When listening to any music, one is supposed to ask themselves, “Would they feel comfortable listening to it if Jesus were listening with them?” If the answer is no, then don’t listen to it. When I was young in the faith, there were a few albums I could answer yes to. Most had swearing in the lyrics and there was one song where the singer came right out and sang “Hail Satan.” But most of what I listened to I felt okay with. So, if anyone asks, music had nothing to do with my choice to leave the faith.

Contrary to what some Born Again Christians might think, I haven’t chosen music over God. In fact, I can listen to Christian rock just as I do non-Christian rock. I do really like Stryper. Just don’t tell me that I’m worshiping Satan because I listen to music because I’ll tell you where to go.

To buy He Was Weird, go to https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1484762670&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

Religion is the Biggest Contradiction of All to Me

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Asperger's Syndrome, Autism, Bible, Book of Mormon, christianity, Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, contradiction, He Was Weird, islam, Jesus Christ, Marine Corps, Mormons, religion

Sometimes when I write a post, it opens my mind up for further contemplation on the subject I’ve posted about and paves the way for future posts. This is a good thing as I don’t have to dither on what I’m going to write about each week. Last week’s post on how contradiction has negative effects on me has been successful in influencing this week’s post.

Probably the biggest contradictions I’ve had to deal with in my life is those imposed on me by religion. For those who haven’t been following Peaceful Rampage from the early years, allow me to recap history. In my teens, I was a stalwart Born Again Christian. Like so many people who possess traits of Asperger’s Syndrome, I believed what was taught ultra literally. Not just what I read in the Bible but what was said by ministers, Sunday School teachers and others who I perceived to have standing in the church and to be good Christians. However, there were times that these people seemed to contradict each other and at times, the scriptures and that effected my faith.

The two biggest contradictory occurrences both happened when I was 17. During that summer, I worked away at a Christian summer camp and had a relationship with a female colleague there. When I came home at the end of the summer, I was determined to carry on the relationship despite the fact the girl lived 85 miles away. Naturally, to do this was complicated but I tried to have faith. Some, including members of my family thought that I was wasting time chasing after a girl so far away. However, what kept me on course was messages from two ministers who basically said that one night stands, short term and meaningless romances were a sin because that wasn’t love, it was lust. Therefore, I concluded that if I treated what I had with that girl as a summertime romance, I would be sinning against God. This contradiction messed with my head for the two years, I considered myself to be with this girl. It only ended when she rejected my proposal of marriage and that played a major part in my departure from wanting to do what God wanted.

The second instance started when I was 17 but lasted a good seven years and revolved around my time in the Marines. Some people in the church and my mother weren’t too happy my decision to enlist. They thought that me being such a good Christian, that I would become corrupted by the evil heathens that made up the US military. At the same time, however, many of them would pontificate Romans 13 and obeying the government. Ministers and teachers both stated that if we were called to go to war, we have the obligation to go. Furthermore, some, especially some of the younger Christians used to tell how the Vietnam draft dodgers were all in danger of hell fire for disobeying the Lord. This was a contradiction that in my mind, bordered on hypocrisy. Saying that you should obey your government in one hand but the other, discouraging young people from actually serving their country. That for me was the final straw with the Born Again faith. While I admit that I did become corrupted in the military, it wasn’t because of the evil heathens but because I got to the end of my tether with these contradictions. Saying that, I never renounced my faith in Jesus. I still professed to have faith but and justified it with Ephesians Chapter 2 verses 8 and 9. My statement was that if you’re saved through grace and not of works, why bother with the works?

In my very late twenties and thirties, I did find a faith that was right for me. That was the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints or better known as Mormons. I didn’t find contradiction with the teachings save one, which I will go into in a moment. I will not go into any argument as to the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon. I look at it this way, we can accept the Bible and Muslims, the Qu’uran, so why should the Book of Mormon be any different? Besides, if Joseph Smith did make it all up, he must have one hell of an imagination.  Another point about it is that I have read this book and found absolutely nothing blasphemous. However, I have found a contradiction. Mormons believe that murder is an unpardonable sin. Also, if somebody had something valuable of mine and refused to give it back, even after I had given him money for it, and so one night, I waited for him to be passed out drunk, killed him and got my possession back, I still would be guilty of murder. In the opening chapters of the Book of Mormon, this happens when Nephi kills a man named Laban because he refuses to give back the brass plates belonging to Nephi’s father. It is written that the spirit of God commands Nephi to do this but why would God have somebody commit and act which is really an unpardonable sin? This contradiction gets to me and saying that it’s not important isn’t the answer because it’s important to me. For the record, this wasn’t the reason why I eventually left the LDS faith.

Now for the shameless connection to “He Was Weird.” In the story, Mark does become a Born Again Christian but God never delivers him from his bullies. When he sites the ‘turn the other cheek’ passage for not standing up to his bullies, he is rebuked and told that it doesn’t mean he needs to be a punching bag. The contradictions with his faith are one of the things that lead him to use Deuteronomy Chapter 20, verses 16-17 to carry out his big climax.

At the moment, contradictions in religion have resulted in me becoming a spiritual anarchist. I believe in the teaching of Christianity including Mormonism but to follow any faith would be detrimental to my mental well being because of the fact that I would believe things so literally and contradiction would cause nothing more than stress and anxiety. Therefore, I have chosen to remain happy.

To buy He Was Weird, go to https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1484157798&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird