Thank You, Consequences, Anxiety and Stereotypes

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First of all, I would like to express my deepest thanks for those who commented on my last post, “Sh*t for Brains Strikes Again.” People were very supportive of me and all comments are deeply appreciated. Down deep, I know that in reality, I am not stupid or retarded or have sh*t for brains. Furthermore, I know that I blew a silly mistake way out of proportion. At the time, I justified it by saying that it was the straw that broke the camel’s back because I have made too many silly mistakes like this in the past. This time, it just got to me too much but I have found like so many things from my life, putting it down on here helps me to get it into perspective and get it off my chest.

Saying all that, I still feel that I am suffering the consequences from my little silly mistake from last week. What I feared would happen actually did. Because I lost my notepad at the festival, I had no notes to refer to when I posted about the festival on my 80smetalman blog. Therefore, a post that might have taken half an hour to write took over an hour and a half to two hours to do so. I had moments just sitting at the computer going “Uh uh” in an attempt to recall moments from the festival. Even when I did, there were anxieties as to whether or not I got my facts totally right. When I write, I pride myself in getting my facts right, something Hollywood doesn’t seem to care about and that leads me to my next point.

As an American living in the United Kingdom, I have heard much criticism of Americans by British people over the historical inaccuracy of many Hollywood films. First, let me say, actually scream, that Hollywood is NOT America! Most Americans know that movies based on history are over romanticized and largely inaccurate historically. Hollywood’s attitude is why let a little thing like historical truth get in the way of a good story? Although it doesn’t help that the British media finds one ignorant redneck in the Backwater County, USA who believes Hollywood is historically right and then projects the false belief that all 300 million Americans believe the same. No they don’t!

Family Guy

Family Guy

However, this stereotype has effected me in my writing, especially in the case of my first book, “Rock and Roll Children.” When I wrote that book, I was so obsessed with historical accuracy, I feel that the story has suffered from it somewhat. I worry that if I get something historical wrong, that people in Britain will point an accusing finger at me and say I’m a typical American. No, I wouldn’t be a typical American, I would be in the same tree as Hollywood and I don’t want that either. Bringing it back to the festival, it all has me worried that I’m going to do the same there. I know it sounds daft but it’s real to me.

That was all the reason why I railed on myself in that post last week. That and the fact that in ancient times, mistakes like that resulted in being called names which I believed I deserved at the time. Now, I know better and I try to put it behind me. Writing about it here is a great help and I appreciate you for taking the time to read it.

To buy He Was Weird go to: https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1471888978&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sh*t for Brains Strikes Again

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Yes, that’s what I call myself sometimes because sometimes I do something which is ludicrously stupid and it has some consequences. Well this past Sunday, I made a hum dinger. This past weekend, I went with my stepson, his girlfriend and friend to the Bloodstock Festival. For those who don’t know what that is, it’s a big heavy metal festival that takes place every year in the middle of England. I have another blog which is about heavy metal in the 1980s which is named after my user name here on WordPress, 80smetalman. At the moment, I am in the process of writing all about the festival on that blog. Before going, I thought it would be a great idea if I took a note pad to make notes of the bands I saw and general goings on from the weekend so when it came to write about it, I have something to draw on so when I sat down at the computer, I wouldn’t be there trying to claw back memories. Well, it was going fine until the very last band of the festival. During the break, I decided to go for something to eat and because I kept my notepad and pen in my back pocket, I took it out so I could sit comfortably to eat. That was good, however, when I got up, I didn’t take the notepad with me. Unfortunately, I only discovered that I hadn’t done so until I was nearly home later that night. That meant that an entire weekend’s worth of effort went down the drain and now I am reduced to doing something I was trying to avoid on the other blog.

Now, I know everyone makes mistakes. I also know that what happened wasn’t the end of the world and it for most people, it’s nothing to get upset about. However, what upsets me is that I have been doing stupid stuff like this for over 50 years! My mistakes include things like forgetting to take my trip money into school with me the day before the trip when that money was left where I sat for breakfast every morning. Another time when traveling on a plane, I put my car keys through the metal detector and failed to get them on the other end. I had to wait several hours at the airport I flew into before they were put on the next flight and returned. See, my mistakes have semi serious consequences.

It’s not only me, things like this have effect on others as well. They have gotten angry and upset with me over it and sometimes they show their anger by calling me names like the one above. Some have threatened violence on account of it. Obviously, it has also been the catalyst for much of the bullying I suffered in my early life. The problem is that I think that I deserve it. It was my stupid forgetting of something that caused them to be angry with me and their reaction is justified. Some people have a short endurance point with these things and we part company although true friends have learned to endure. It doesn’t make me feel any less guilty when I do something stupid and it effects them.

I have tried all sorts of exercises, drills and memory techniques to try to avoid doing these ridiculous things. Some of these have had limited success. In the end, I will still forget something or to do something and I will be back here calling myself sh*t for brains.

To buy He Was Weird go to https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1471338074&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

I Did Not Copy Columbine

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Columbine Shooting

Columbine Shooting

Recent feedback from someone who has read “He Was Weird” stated that the climax of the story when Mark goes and shoots up the school pretty much followed the script of the two boys who carried out the Columbine shooting. If this was the case, then I can say with total certainty that it wasn’t intentional. While I knew some of the hard facts behind the Columbine shooting, I refused to look at the details in order not to plagiarize from the shooting.

Like some of the other books I’ve read about school shootings, there are some similarities with Columbine in “He Was Weird.” The Columbine shooters begin their spree outside the school and Mark also begins his shooting spree in the school playground. However, Mark never goes into the school building because he feels that the playground provides the perfect killing fields for his massacre, which it does. So it’s not completely the same. However, there is a bigger similarity between the two shootings. As Klebold and Harris approach the school to carry out their shooting, they see a friend of theirs and tell him not to go into school. Mark does a similar thing it “He Was Weird.” The day before his planned attack, he tells three classmates who have been friendly with him that he wants to meet them the next morning off school grounds so he can give them something. This way, they are out of the way when Mark carries out his true intentions. In both cases here, the shooters don’t want their friends to get caught in the crossfire.

I know for a fact that Columbine influenced other books on the subject of school shootings as well as mine. The most obvious one was in Jodi Picoult’s “19 Minutes.” In that story, Peter, like the Columbine shooters, sets off a series of pipe bombs in his car to cause a distraction except in Peter’s case, they have more of the desired effect. Mark uses no such things in his rampage in “He Was Weird.” In fact, the Columbine shooting is mentioned quite a bit in the story and we discover that Peter, watches “Bowling for Columbine” as an inspiration.

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19m     wnttk

 

While Kevin doesn’t copy the Columbine shooters in “We Need to Talk About Kevin” by Lionel Shriver, they definitely are mentioned a fair number of time in the story. Kevin uses them as proof that his massacre was much better planned and executed. He scorns Harris and Klebold for killing themselves at the end.

In the other school shooting novel I read, Nancy Garden’s “Endgame,” there is little evidence of Columbine in the story. Gray simply steals his father’s pistol, goes into school, blows away the main bully and then starts shooting indiscriminately. That brings me to point out further differences with “He Was Weird” to the Columbine shooting. While writing the story, I did play with the idea of when Mark has carried out his shooting and the only ones left on the school playground are his casualties, that a teacher comes out and tries to persuade Mark to put his guns down. Mark responds by shooting the teacher dead but that sounded too much like Columbine and a teacher also gets killed in the Picoult novel. Therefore, I avoided it.

Quite obviously, the Columbine shooting has inspired a ton of media. There are films, books and television programmes all inspired by that fateful day. I can say that I was inspired by it as well when I wrote my book. However, I didn’t copy the shooting when I wrote about mine.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1470772727&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

 

 

I See Myself As a Victim Because I Was a Victim

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bullying-commercial

At my very first counselling session nearly thirteen years ago, the counsellor began with having me tell my life story, so I did. I unloaded how I was bullied as a child, especially those three years of hell which would eventually encourage me to write “He Was Weird” to how I was made a social outcast and even persecuted when I got out of the service for the crime of growing my hair long. The counsellor listened and added some thoughts along the way like the fact that one would have thought that people in college would have been more accepting of my eccentric dress and hair styles. However, when I finished, the counsellor’s response was, “You see yourself as a victim.”

Why I saw myself as a victim was the basic theme for the entire year and a half I was in counselling. At the end of that time, although probably before then, we reached the conclusion that the reason why I thought that I had ‘VICTIM’ stamped across my forehead throughout my life was because I was in fact victimised. Having suffered all sorts of bullying in my early life from direct threat and violence to exclusion to exploitation, eventually, no matter the situation, I saw myself as the victim. As a teen, I was the victim because I was a Christian and persecuted for Jesus’s sake. When I left the marines, I was the victim because the civilian populace who didn’t serve their country, didn’t understand what I had gone through. Even when I first came to England, I was a victim because I was American. Years of conditioning in that way has led me to go into victim mode whenever I encounter some adverse situation. Hell, even machinery is on it. I am convinced that all mechanical equipment is programmed not to work properly if owned by me.

Okay, that last one was a joke but it does show that if one is made to feel a victim long enough, they will believe they are one. Especially if they have a condition like Asperger’s Syndrome. It is also why many African Americans seem to play the race card because they actually feel they are victimised for being black. On that note, many Caucasian Americans think that their African counterparts are playing the race card to use it to their advantage, to get welfare, jobs or even get away with committing crimes. Yes, there are those who do but most don’t. Coming back to me, I too have learned to play the victim card to my advantage. Most recently, now that I have come forward and spoken out about how I was treated as a child, I have been accused of trying to get people to feel sorry for me. I don’t want sympathy but I would like the understanding and tolerance I didn’t get way back then.

Today, I still sometimes struggle with going into victim mode. I have to keep reminding myself that I am not a victim but saying that, this doesn’t give anyone an excuse to blame the victim in any bullying situation. Because most people who see themselves as victims, most very likely were at one time.

To buy He Was Weird, go to https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1470160732&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

 

 

 

Why Am I So Weird? Would You Accept My Answer?

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Throughout my childhood, I used to get asked the first question all the time. Often, the inquisitor’s motive for asking was so (s)he could tease and patronize or even bully. Sometimes, I tried to give some waffled explanation but often times I would say “I don’t know” because in all honesty, I didn’t. On the rare occasion, I would make a stand and say something like, “Because I take after you.” This met with mixed results, not all of them favourable.

Four decades or so on, after much self searching and outside research, I believe I can answer that question. I am utterly convinced that I have DAMP, (Deficiencies in Attention, Motor Skills and Perception) which is also linked to Asperger’s Syndrome. My personal symptoms are the appearance that I talk to myself and go further by sometimes acting out what I’m thinking. These are the two major ones that have plagued me for so many years and gave many people the belief that I was weird or mentally retarded. I got called that a lot as a child. A less severe but relevant symptom is the fact that I don’t always see things the way a so called ‘normal’ person would. This has also contributed to my branding and was worse with the more intolerant people of the world as well as some teachers. Then there was the one that people didn’t see. What they saw is me appearing not to ‘get it’ and draw the conclusion I was some sort of thicko. What they didn’t realize was that I was processing all the available factors in the problem, including ones that might not be relevant and trying to make sense of it all. Often, that would result in overload and sometimes melt down but to many, that was sufficient evidence that I was weird or other things. In reality, it was just my DAMP and Aspergers Syndrome that was the force behind it all.

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Now that I have answered the first question, it is time for me to ask the second one. Do you accept my explanation? I honestly believe that if I were to return to the town and meet the people who influenced my writing of “He Was Weird,” they wouldn’t be so accepting of my explanation. They would accuse me of making up my condition because after all, I was such a liar back then, why should anything change? Sorry, I can’t show the sarcasm intended in that last part of the last sentence. Many of them would simply say that I’m just trying to make up that condition in order to elicit sympathy. No, I don’t want people feeling sorry for me. Whatever the reason, most of those involved wouldn’t accept my explanations for being “so weird” back then, especially if it contradicts their thin justifications for the bullying they put on me then. So, I’m not going to worry about what those narrow minded persons think. However, as for you reading this, I hope you will take the evidence on board and make up your own mind and hopefully will accept my explanation.

To buy He Was Weird, go to: https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1469560500&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Man Could Lose His Career for Standing Up to a Bully

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The Sun

The Sun

Normally, I don’t agree with most of the things printed in the British newspaper, “The Sun.” However, last week there was an article in it that not only caught my attention but made me quite angry. The article was about a man who confronted a ten year old boy who had been bullying his son and daughter. The bullying was so bad, that the son needed hospital attention for his broken wrist and the daughter came home nearly every day in tears as a result.

The son in hospital with his broken arm as a result of bullying.

The son in hospital with his broken arm as a result of bullying.

Doing what the vast majority of parents would do, the father went in to the school to address the bullying his children were suffering. Unfortunately, this attempt and a number of furhter attempts did nothing to effect the bullying. One day, he saw his children’s bully and confronted him. According to reports, the father put his face right in the face of the ten year old boy and yelled at him, threatening the boy if he didn’t stop bullying his kids.

The parents of the boy called the police and the father was duly arrested and charged. Funny thing is that when the father approached the police over his children’s bullying, they said they couldn’t do anything as it was a ‘school matter.’ Anyway, to make a long story short, the father had to plead guilty for using threatening language and was fined £120, plus £85 court costs and another £20 victim surcharge. To add insult to injury, the father now faces losing his career as a midwife because he now has a criminal record. What this leaves me to conclude that this is yet another victory for the bullies!

Sure, the father probably went too far in addressing this matter but he was only trying to protect his children. I also think the magistrate was more than a little condescending when he told the father:

‘It is ironic that you were complaining about bullying when your own behaviour was clearly bullying.

My belief and I don’t think I’m alone here is that had the school and police done something about the bullying in the first place, instead of declaring it to be the other body’s problem, then the father wouldn’t have needed to resort to this action. Furthermore, from what I know, seen an experienced, this bully now thinks he’s untouchable and will only go on to make other children’s lives hell.

To buy He Was Weird, go to: https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1468934259&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

 

An Insult to All Sufferers of Aspergers Syndrome

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Recently I responded to a piece I read about bullying. Although it’s not the point of this post, the article said that adults shouldn’t be so quick to intervene in all instances of child bullying. Perhaps the writer has a point here but my response was in defense of those who aren’t able to stand up for themselves. When challenged on this point, I brought up people who suffer from Aspergers Syndrome and that many people with the condition aren’t lack the skills to properly stand up for themselves. One person responded that Aspergers is no longer considered a medical condition and it is something used by maladjusted people whose parents are of the same ilk to get away with unsocial behaviour. I countered that he should meet the people I work with but still, what this person said about those who have Aspergers Syndrome is not only pig ignorant but an insult to those who genuinely have the condition.

Oddly enough, I do touch on this in my book “He Was Weird.” When Mark is officially diagnosed with the condition, not only does it bring more bullying onto him, some of his peers bring up doubts about him really having anything wrong. One classmate states that his father says that Mark’s family is playing on his condition to get a ton of money off the government and that they are living off the taxes of working people like a welfare cheat. Of course, because Mark doesn’t know if it is true, the bullies assume it must be.

It seems to be a widespread problem, especially in America although The Sun newspaper in the UK tries to make a big thing of it there, that not only those with Aspergers Syndrome but most people with any sort of special needs are lying about their condition. If not lying, at the very least exaggerating their condition so they don’t have to work and simply trying to live off welfare. Americans are particularly mistrustful of anyone who qualifies for and accepts financial help from the government. The media doesn’t help here either. Journalists may uncover a person who may be trying to cheat the government with a false condition but then they will sensationalize it to make it out that many more people are taking the piss while ignoring those who genuinely suffer from such conditions. The result is that mistrust develops by people who are considered able bodied or minded of those who aren’t.

Today, I saw a television ad that put forth the following statistics. Nine out of ten people with special needs will never be offered a job and more importantly more than half those with special needs will have experienced bullying. I do wish that the bullying statistic was more exact because I think the number is much higher than suggested in the ad. However, what they do convey is that persons with special needs aren’t trying to cheat the government or make excuses for themselves.

Speaking particularly of people who have Aspergers, I can say that the vast majority of those who have the condition are genuine.  As far as it being a medical condition, a look on the National Autism website will explain it all. What people with Aspergers Syndrome need is support and understanding. What they don’t need is ignorant people making light or denying the existence of a condition that is genuinely real for them.

To buy He Was Weird, go to: https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1468439371&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

 

 

Independence Day and Workplace Bullying

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4july

Today is July 4 and for Americans like me, it is a big day, even though I now live in Great Britain. I don’t have the day off from work but that doesn’t stop me from celebrating. In the past, I have had some Independence Day barbecues, which many a British person has completely enjoyed. So, I have no problem celebrating my birth country’s biggest holiday in the country whom it gained its independence from and no one in the UK has a problem with me doing so. But it wasn’t always so.

During my first few years in the UK, I worked in a factory in East London. I started as a cleaner and worked my way up to a compounder where I was making industrial fragrances. When I was in the ‘lower’ jobs, I seemed to get on with the majority of my working companions. However, that changed when I actually began the job that was equal to them. Now I admit that starting out, I made a lot of mistakes and while I am not making excuses here, many of those were fueled by anxieties from previous employment where getting the job done was above all else. It didn’t help that as always with my Asperger’s, I was branded weird, nothing new there.

While my direct supervisor would say later that all the compounders had issue with me, there was one guy who was the main spark behind it all. This particular gentleman typified all stereotypes about English hooligans from the film “Green Street.” He used to fill small vials of chemicals from the factory and take them to football matches to throw at rival supporters. One time, right before the 1990 World Cup, a Dutch lorry driver came into the dressing room to use the toilet, this person informed him, “Hey Dutchman, see you at the World Cup.” Anyway, because of my perceived mistakes and the fact that there was only one other foreigner working there, he took issue with me and got his friends to join him. It started small, he and his mates would call out “wimp” when I was a long way down the corridor. Later, they got a little bolder and say it very lowly when I was there. One time, when I confronted them on it, they did the denial thing trying to make out that I was hearing things or making it up. To me, that is the most cowardly form of bullying.

Things digressed after that to the point where I had to involve my manager. There was a meeting with supervisors over it where the one informed them of all of my so called mistakes so not much was done about it. Then the climax happened. A few years earlier, I had been off sick on July 4 and came back to some innocent teasing. During the time mentioned, I happened to be genuinely off sick on that day again but this time it was worse. I returned to having “July 4, we know” on my locker and on a wall in the one office, there was written, “Independence Day Sickness, we know you’re lying.” When I had to talk about my sickness over that time, with my manager, I got the impression that he was thinking the same thing, so I didn’t say anything. However, some well meaning English friends were very quick to point out that if I had been of African or Asian origin, the race relations people would be in there collecting heads on platters, so I called the Commission for Racial Equality. Unfortunately, the person I spoke to very patronizingly told me that white Americans don’t come under the Racial Equality Act. She even went on to make excuses for those who were hassling me over it. So, I felt like there wasn’t anything I could do.

Fortunately, the hooligan would leave the company two months later and his mates would leave me alone after that. Things would be bearable again and I would leave the company a year later. Still, the act of being called a liar because I was sick on Independence Day tugs at the corner of my mind, especially the way the Racial Equality Commission handled it. However, there are many more people in Britain who accept that I celebrate the holiday and know that I wouldn’t lie about going sick on July 4 more than counteracts that brief experience.

To buy He Was Weird, go to: https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1467662529&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Need to Justify Everything

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This has been something I always find myself doing. Anything I do or say, I need to justify it for some reason or another. But why do I feel the need to justify myself? That is the big question. It has only been recently that I have realised that I really don’t need to justify everything.

So why? The answer comes from my early years when I suffered social exclusion, teasing, ridicule and like in “He Was Weird,” outright bullying and it resulted in me believing that whatever I said or did, it was going to be wrong. Mainly because, someone else said that it was wrong. Therefore, out of fear of some reprisal, real or imagined, I would offer some sort of explanation to deflect the verbal and sometimes physical onslaught I perceived to be coming my way. What aggravated the situation more was as a child and teen, others coming up and asking questions about me or my life and why I did something. Some of these curiosities were genuine, however, there were others who simply wanted ammunition to use against me or they wanted to tease or patronize.

In “He Was Weird,” this sort of situation happens in the very first pages. On the first day of his new school, at his first at bat at kickball, Mark clears away some stones that are in his way before the ball is rolled to him. Then, like he did at his old school because he played for an American Football team called the Tigers, he let out a roar when he kicked the ball. Nothing was said at the time but at lunch, there were a couple of kids wanting to know why he did those things. Due to his autism, Mark was perfectly honest. Unfortunately, it is on account of his condition, he explains it in a way that children could use it against him. Instead of saying that the stones are in the way, he states that he was making himself a runway. To his future tormentors, this was all the ammunition they needed.

Like Mark, I often thought that I was always wrong or misunderstood and therefore, I had to explain everything or justify myself. At times, this may be warranted but often times it’s not. Now, I realise that I don’t have to justify things in my personal life or I do something that someone doesn’t understand because they choose to be narrow minded. However, if you ask and are genuinely interested and I feel that you should know, I’ll tell you.

To buy He Was Weird, go to: https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1467053292&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

 

One Extreme to the Other

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This has been the story of my life for most of it, especially during my early years. In fact, an former girlfriend once told me that I had led a very contradictory life. I have to agree with that. After all, in the space of a few years, I had gone from someone who had grown up in a staunch Republican household and served in the Marine Corps to a fully confessed Marxist. To quote the college chaplain at Queen Mary College in London, the American dream wasn’t working out for me so I began looking East. However, my affair with Karl only lasted about a year.

I went from this

I went from this

To this.

To this.

If you read my experiences with religion, you might remember that I had similar experiences with it. In my teenage years, I was a hard core Born Again Christian, eager to go out and live for the Lord. By the time I was eighteen, I was beginning to get disillusioned with it all because it wasn’t solving all my problems. As a result, I began going totally the other way. Inside, I felt that if I couldn’t be the best of the best, I would become the worst of the worst. In my thirties, I had another dance with religion when I joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, (Mormons if you haven’t guessed.) In many ways, that was and still is the right faith for me. However, no matter how much I tried following the rules of the church, it didn’t seem to be enough in the end and then when my first marriage ended, that was the catalyst for me moving from any religion. For a while, I did go the other way again. I think I was having a mid life crisis and tried to recapture my early and mid twenties. I even broke out the old heavy metal attire and followed a local band around the pubs of Bristol. That didn’t last long. It ended when I was sitting in a coffee house in Amsterdam, all fuzzy from some of the goodies available there and realising that I wasn’t twenty-five anymore.

These are the two big examples of the extremism of my life. There were many small instances as well. One reason why I let bullies get away with so much was because when I did stand up for myself, I would totally skits out. Often times, the trigger would be something really small but all of the other larger events fueled the explosion. People would only see me lashing out and conveniently forget anything that was done to me. Of course, with my Aspergers mind, the condemnation from ignorant onlookers had me thinking that I was in the wrong and it became a case of damned if I do damned if I don’t. One can imagine what that did to my mental health.

Most things in my life swayed back and forth between the two extremes. That middle ground didn’t exist for me or I couldn’t see the grey area. At first, I took the lesser of two evils approach and that worked for a while. However, it did cause problems when I couldn’t determine which was the lesser evil. Now a days, after years of painful trial and error, I find the grey area much easier to spot and head there straight away and work out a compromise in my mind. That works best for me.

To buy He Was Weird go to: https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1466625482&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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