Christmas Song Lyrics: Mundane Gifts


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Have you ever noticed that you sometimes get the same boring gifts every Christmas? The song, “Didn’t I Get This Last Year” sung to the tune of the carol, “Do You Know What I Know” highlights this fact.

Said her nephew Tim to his Aunt Louise

Didn’t I get this last year? Didn’t I get this last year?

Same thing every year, Aunt Loiuse

But I got that last year. But he got that last year.

Some socks, some socks, some tiny BVD’s

That I can’t up past my knees.

Could you return them please Aunt Louise?

Other gifts in the song include:

A tie

A plant

A coupon for some fries.






Christmas Lyrics: I’m Getting Sued By Santa Claus


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Imagine if you were sued by Santa, the nicest man on the planet. This song takes a look at it.

Christmas Day will not be merry

Explaining to the children will be hard

It’s Christmas Eve tonight and our beagle picked a fight

With some reindeer grazing in the yard.

I sent the dog outside to do it’s business

I forgot to hook his leash up to the peg.

First he and Cupid came to blows

And bit Rudolph on the nose

And when I got there he was eyeing Prancer’s leg.

Now I’m getting sued by Santa Claus

He’s claiming mental anguish in his case

Yeah, I’m getting sued by Santa Claus

And my kids won’t even look me in the face.

Song Lyric Quotes: Christmas Ditties


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I’ve decided that up until Christmas, I will get everyone and me in the spirit by posting lyrics from Christmas songs on here. Be warned, these will not be traditional carols but satirical and otherwise amusing Christmas songs. Many will be parodies of traditional Christmas carols. So let’s start with “Leroy the Redneck Reindeer.”

Rudolph was under the weather, he had to call in sick

So he got on the horn to his cousin Leroy

Who lived out in the sticks.

He said, Santa’s really counting on me

And I don’t want to pass the buck.

Leroy said I’m on my way and he got in his pickup truck.

When Leroy got to the North Pole, the reindeer sniggered and laughed

They never seen a deer in overalls and a John Deere tractor hat

Santa stepped in and said now all calm down because we all got a job to do

So like it or not Leroy’s in charge

And he’s gonna be leading you.

And it was Leroy the redneck reindeer

Hooked to the front of the sleight

Delivering toys to all the good old boys

And girls along the way.

A down home party animal he was having the time of his life.

He mixed jingle bells with a rebel yell

He made history that night.

It’s Sometimes Hard to See The Positive


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The Phillies celebrate World Series glory in 2008.

Two months ago, I wrote a post titled: “Maybe I Should Just Quit.” The post was in regards to some problems I encountered when organizing my latest softball tournament, I organize two a year, and as a result, I was thinking of the possibility of stepping down from organizing the tournaments. In the end, I said I wasn’t going to step down for many reasons and decided to keep on organizing.

Since I wrote that post, a new development has entered into the equation. Shortly after, I was approached by someone who was representing the school where the tournaments are held expressing that the school was interested in taking over organizing the tournaments. They see it as a good way of raising funds for the school’s budding softball programme. I definitely see their point here. After two months of giving the issue serious thought, I have decided to step down and allow the school to take over organizing the softball tournaments.

While I feel relieved that the burden has been lifted from my shoulders, there is lots of anxiety running through my brain as well. Part of me still thinks I’m just using the offer from the school as an excuse to give up organizing the tournaments. At least, I worry that others will see it that way. Furthermore, since I’ve made the announcement to the British softball world, I have had several “likes” from people on Facebook on my declaration. My worry was that these people are clicking “like” because they are glad that I’m no longer organizing the tournaments and this was their way of diplomatically saying “Good riddance” to me. This worry comes about because I know that I have made mistakes during the sixteen years I’ve organized the tournament. On the other hand, I have had many positive comments thanking me for my efforts over the years. However, this does not fully stop me from worrying about the negative.

It is true that people tend to focus more on the negative than the positive in most given situations. This goes even more for people with Asperger’s Syndrome and related conditions. Even though there have been a lot of positive vibes sent my way, I can’t help thinking about the negative. Simply telling an Aspie to focus on the positive doesn’t solve the problem, especially with my past where I have been made to feel inferior to everyone all throughout my early life. These things do stick in the mind and even all these years later, it’s very difficult to shake off. Another worry, I’m not writing this to fish for compliments but am now worried people might think that.

This is not only mine but but typical of the mental minefields that people who have Asperger’s Syndrome have to walk through. The worry that something they have done might not be right in someone else’s eyes in spite of all their efforts plays heavily on an Aspie’s mind. It sure does mine. Hopefully, this worry will go away when I log back onto Facebook and see more positive comments.

The LA Dodgers

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Song Lyric Quote: Bonfire- Proud of My Country


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I made this trip to Vegas with a friend of mine

Some people heard we were German

And they called us Nazi swines.

Do you think it’s fair to blame me

For the things I haven’t done?

So ctell me, how long will this be going on?

I want to know if you don’t know

That you’re hurting me and my country.

Yesterday’s gone and we belong,

To a new German nation who has found its home.

I say hey, I want to be proud of my country

Proud of its people, proud to be free

I say hey, I want to be proud of my country

Proud I was born here

Proud to live in Germany.

I agree it is time to stop using history as a stick to beat people or groups with.

I’m Speaking Out About It Now


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There is a scene in my book, “He Was Weird,” which I call the “Smiley Incident.” To bring those who haven’t read it up to speed, Smiley is a substitute PE teacher at Mark’s school. While Mark is playing basketball with his fellow students, Smiley begins calling Mark, “Coordination Plus.” Then at one point, when Mark has his back to him, Smiley pulls Mark’s shorts down thus humiliating Mark in front of his entire class resulting in him getting teased about it for the rest of the day. When he goes home after school, Mark tells his mother about the pulling down of his pants. His mother and his grandfather immediately contact the police and have Smiley arrested.

As is the case with Mark throughout the story, even though Smiley pleads guilty to indecent assault as part of a deal and is banned from working with children for five years and put on the sex offenders list for two years, it doesn’t end well for him. Fellow classmates who support Smiley take the consequences he faces for his action out on the victim. This leads to Mark being further bullied and even to physical violence because he told his parents and had Smiley sent away.

Like with so many instances of bullying mentioned in the book, this too happened to me. However, it did not happen during the three years of bullying hell which I suffered and inspired me to write “He Was Weird.” In my freshman year in high school, I did encounter a man nicknamed Smiley who volunteered as an assistant wrestling coach, I’m not totally sure of that fact, at my school. He did join in with us playing basketball at one of my PE classes and he did call me ‘Coordination Plus.’ Most importantly though, he did pull my shorts down. However, I did nothing about it. In fact, I never mentioned it until 14 years ago when I was in counselling.

Why didn’t I report it back then? Well the main answer to that is that if I had, nothing would have been done about it. Attitudes were different in 1976 and while this doesn’t excuse it, it does highlight the fact that if I had reported it to the school, Smiley would have gotten a mere slap on the wrist at most and I would have been made out to be the weak ‘pussy’ for telling on him. This was why I was so easily able to write about the reprisals on Mark in the story because I genuinely feared that would have happened to me if I had reported it. I probably would have been beaten up by the wrestling team, so I feared. That’s why I never said anything. Ironically, when working as a substitute teacher a few years back, I did tell a class of children around the same age Mark was in the story about it. They overwhelmingly stated that I should have had Smiley done. Oh, how things have changed.

For those same reasons, I have never told my mother. She passed away in March never knowing that her son had been indecently assaulted in high school. I believe at the time, if I had told her, she and my grandfather would have reacted the same way Mark’s do in the story and even though it was 1976, would have tried to have Smiley prosecuted. They probably would have succeeded in getting him banned from the school. However, my fears were that all of the above things mentioned would have still happened to me. I would have been the bad guy for reporting it, even more so because I got my mother involved and there would have been a backlash. Therefore, I never told anyone. Besides if I had brought it up to my mother years later, it would have only caused her more grief, so I’m glad I never told her.

One final reason why I am only posting about it now after all these years is down to my own Asperger’s fueled anxieties. Former abuse victims have been coming out and telling about their awful experiences and I praise them highly for doing so. That leads to another anxiety; having my shorts pulled down isn’t nearly as bad as some of the sexual abuse others have suffered. Because what I experienced isn’t horrific, I felt I had no right to talk about it. It’s only now that I do and what it has done is make me even more empathetic to those who have suffered worse things than I. Also there’s my anxiety that because people are coming out about their abuse, I will be seen as simply jumping on the bandwagon. While it might sound daft, I do hope that people don’t really think that.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

To buy He Was Weird, go to:

It Doesn’t Matter What You Call It If There Was a Gun Involved


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Yesterday, I saw a presentation, I think it might have been Youtube but I haven’t been able to find it yet, about the misreporting of school shootings in the USA. Today, I’m kicking myself for not keeping the Google Alert where I found the article but that’s down to my mental health. Following my normal routine, I automatically deleted the alert, then a few hours later, I realized that this would be a good subject for my next post. That’s my delayed action memory at work here and that’s why I can’t show you the video.

Columbine Shooting-

What this video claimed was that the US Education Department says that there have been 240 school shootings this year when in fact there was only 11. Their evidence said that the Education Department backed up by the ‘liberal’ media has stretched the definition of a school shooting to substantiate their agenda. The presenters in the video said that the media claimed that any discharge of a weapon in or near a school was called a school shooting when it fact it wasn’t. Examples included a gun being accidentally discharged in a school and someone committing suicide with a gun while sitting in his car outside of a school. To this group, these weren’t school shootings and the liberals were only calling it such to strengthen their campaign against the National Rifle Association for tougher gun laws. Their conclusion was since the number of school shootings was actually so low, there is no need for tougher gun laws. 

Let’s look at this. First, maybe the ‘liberal’ media has gone too far in calling any gun discharge a school shooting and maybe there were only 11 school shootings in the real sense of the term. In my opinion, that is still 11 too many and therefore, does not change my desire to see tougher gun laws in America. Looking at the their descriptions of school shootings that weren’t, there was a gun near a school, that gun was fired and in some cases, even with the suicide, there was a casualty. Call it a school shooting or not, in these cases there was a shooting of some kind. The semantics of what people want to call it makes no difference. Furthermore, if anything, it further forwards the argument for gun control. The NRA and other organizations playing around with technical terms has little to do with it.

Shameless plug to “He Was Weird:” There would be no question what to call the shooting which happens in the story, it was a school shooting and according to one reader, a brutal one. Arguing about what to call it would have made no difference, especially to all the victims.

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