When most people think of bullying, they usually get images like the one above, a bigger stronger person picking on a smaller weaker one. However, it is just as likely that the reverse can be the case in regards to bullying. The smaller person will be the bully because if the bigger one retaliates, they will still be seen as the bully and the sanctions will be on them. This happened to me quite a lot as a child. Smaller children used to bully me in sometimes subtle ways sometimes, in more traditional ones. When I would try to retaliate or stand up for myself, the story got twisted and I was made out to be a bully when I was actually the victim. In many cases, the smaller person was immediately thought of as the victim.
One instance, which I put to paper when I wrote “He Was Weird,” happened when I was in fifth grade. A third grader stole my hat and when I tried to get it back, he punched me so I punched him back. However, a couple of other fifth graders threatened to beat me up for ‘picking on a little kid.’ It did not matter that the kid had taken my had and hit me first. Now that I think of it, the one fifth grader, who I based the Tommy Allen character on in the story, used the guise of me being the bully to bully me. That’s another thing, bullies use things like that as justification. In this case, I was picking on a little kid when in fact the little kid had started it. The incident expanded to the point that some people actually accused me of picking on all little kids, a total falsehood.
I am going to share another incident which didn’t occur in the time frame of “He Was Weird.” I played street hockey in high school and one day I was playing in a pick up game where there some ‘little’ kids were also playing. A couple of these kids on the other team had big mouths and were constantly taunting two of my friends and me during the game. Knowing it wouldn’t be right to hit them, I got the idea in my head to use the game to my ends. When one of the loud mouthed punks was dribbling the ball, I gave him a pretty good body check, perfectly legal. Unfortunately for me. the kid left and went and got some bigger kids who turned up in mass and forced me to get down on my knees and apologize to the kid and his friends.
Six months later, I thought the incident was forgotten as I seen many of those bigger kids in school and nothing was ever said. But I had the audacity to turn up and play in the street hockey league. They didn’t like that. In fact, they said they would make me their main target whenever our teams played because I went around checking little kids and that went on for the remaining two years of high school. The weird thing was that while not much was ever said outside of street hockey, it was a different thing when the games were on. Some of those kids used that one instance to foster hatred against me two years on. Ironically, that original little kid offered the olive branch some eight months later and we were on good terms. My conclusion was that those bigger kids used that one incident as an excuse for bullying.
What is the solution to the smaller, weaker kids bullying bigger ones because they can get away with it by playing the victim? This was a dilemma in my Asperger’s mind all through my youth. When the smaller kid bullied me, adult response was, “He’s just a little kid.” However, when I stood up against that form of bullying, the response would be the same. It left me with a damned if I do, damned if I don’t feeling and often sent my mind into a massive meltdown. Therefore, I would like to know: What is the solution?
To buy He Was Weird, go to: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Was-Weird-Publisher-Generation-Publishing/dp/B00SLVHRFG/ref=sr_1_1?crid=36I8I1G32U0R4&dchild=1&keywords=he+was+weird&qid=1587474553&s=books&sprefix=he+was+%2Cstripbooks%2C148&sr=1-1