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Here comes Vi and my Uncle Larry with their little mutant Ben

They’re the reason why cousins shouldn’t marry

They’re here to plague my life again.

Mom’s in the kitchen basting the spam, Dad’s in the sitting room swilling down his beer

Me and Grandpa don’t give a dang

Because we really hate this time of year.

It’s another white trash Christmas, I think Santa missed us

It’s another, real mother of a white trash Christmas this year.