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The LA Dodgers

Often there are times when we all feel this way, that we should just quit. It could be school, a job, a sports team, a band or any number of things. Quitting does often relieve the stress that comes with whatever the quitter is doing at the time. That no longer have to do the thing which was causing hardship in your life can often be a major release. However, while quitting might rid one of the short term stress, it often doesn’t solve the problem and can create more.

The option of quitting something came upon me two days ago. Twice a year, I organize a softball tournament in my hometown where teams from all over Britain come to play. Yes, they do play softball in the UK. For the most part, the tournament was a big success but there was a few issues as well. During the sixteen years I have been running the tournament, there has been very few injuries. This last one, however, was like a combat zone. There were at least six possibly serious injuries, including three people getting hit on the head with a ball and one more in the mouth as well as a very worrying ankle injury. To make matters worse, even though I am a qualified first aider, (I saw my certificate today), I froze when the injuries happened and my Asperger’s kicked in because there were more injuries on this day than all the tournaments going back 16 years combined. Plus, the first aid kit I kept in my car wasn’t there when I needed it. At the tournament’s conclusion, a couple of the umpires expressed their dissatisfaction at the way the injuries were handled and are going to report it to the British Softball Federation. While, I have been told not to worry about that too much it only makes me worry more. After, all I have Asperger’s and things like this play hell with my anxieties.

To further fuel the flames, the following day I received an email from the manager of the venue where the tournaments are held stating that there was a lot of litter left behind. He also made a very good point that the tournament was played by adults so there was no excuse for there to be so much litter after. I have to agree with it but the ultimately, the responsibility lies with me as the organizer. My big worry here is that he might not allow the tournaments at the venue any more and there is no real suitable place in the area to hold it. At best, there is one place but that venue is only capable of putting three diamonds on it as opposed to the four I normally have and teams will be playing on a incline. So, it’s easy to see why I don’t want to lose the venue.

As a result, I have thought of simply falling on my sword and stepping down as the tournament organizer. I even have a logical argument that I can still assist with the tournament in a support role in many ways. Not having to organize and be responsible for it would relieve many anxieties. However, if I was to quit, I don’t think anyone would be willing to take over and the tournaments would end. I also believe that many softball players would be disappointed if the tournament went away, just for the sake of getting to play more softball if nothing else. The main reason that keeps me from simply quitting is because like my post about suicide a few weeks back, I see quitting as taking the coward’s way out. I would be quitting just because a couple of things didn’t go right and not facing those challenges.

At the moment, I don’t intend to step down. Saying that, my anxieties are such that I worry that anyone who knows me through softball who reads this is going to accuse me of trying to get sympathy from everybody. That’s not the case, besides, with my experience, it would probably have the reverse effect and everyone would be telling me to quit. No, the best thing here is to learn from my mistakes and soldier on. I already have ideas for addressing the problems.

Shameless tie in with my book, “He Was Weird:” In the story Mark quits the football team because he doesn’t get to play even when his team wins 24-0. His heart was no longer in the game anyway and like my own experience which this story line is based on, quitting the team leads to further bullying from his former teammates.

To buy He Was Weird, go to: https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1539210927&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird