A favourite saying used by bullies and bully sympathizers is to tell the victim that they somehow brought the bullying on themselves. Victim blaming has been an effective tool to justify bullying since bullying has been around. It means that the victim is at fault over the bullying (s)he receives. This is totally not true.
Like with so many of my posts, I am speaking from first hand experience on the matter and I transferred many of those experiences when I wrote “He Was Weird.” When I first moved into the town that influenced the story, I naturally wanted to make friends. However, with my Asperger’s and DAMP, I wasn’t sure how to go about it. It didn’t help that on my first day, some kids surrounded me asking a bunch of questions that sent my mind into overload. In an attempt to impress, I told some accounts of my life that were highly exaggerated, although some of that was caused by the anxiety I was put under. Many of the children immediately ‘took offense’ at all my supposed lies. As a result, the bullying began and it continued for the three years I lived there.
Many times, when I was bullied, the bully or bystanders would say that it was all my fault, mainly for being weird. In fact, some bullies took it upon themselves to try to beat the weirdness out of me. That if they beat me up or punched me enough times, that I would ‘act normal.’ The problem was that with my mind, I was acting normal. Especially in cases when I was performing some action another had done minutes before. When he did it, everyone thought it was cool, when I did it, I was just being weird. Does anyone else see a bit of hypocrisy here?
The worse excuse to justify the bullying I received was the fact that I didn’t fight back. Of course when I did, it would be made worse and often times, I would be blamed for starting it and that they were somehow justified in what they were doing to me. However, in most cases, I was bullied just because it seemed amusing to the bully.
Whatever the perceived motive of the bully, I didn’t bring any of it on myself. Yes, someone may have been annoyed at my supposed fake stories but that was down to their intolerance. They had no right to make my life hell in the way they did. One teacher even said that I invited trouble. If I did, it was only because a bully was looking for an invitation to give me that trouble. They could have left me alone but they chose otherwise. However, I don’t blame anything I endured on myself.
To buy He Was Weird, go to: https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1461615586&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird