Over the past four months or so, I have posted about most of the bullies from those three horrible years of my life who influenced me in writing “He Was Weird.” Now that it’s all over, I sit back and now ask myself if it was all worth it. Well, from my angle, the answer is “Yes.”
First of all, I got all the bad experiences of the bullying off my chest although I achieved most of that when I completed the writing of “He Was Weird.” The main advantage was that because I had written the book when I posted about those experiences on here, I did so without reliving them. It’s in my past and now I can say that I will no longer let it influence any events in my life. Then there is the added bonus of actually naming those who made my life so miserable. What’s better is that the way in which I did it, I now feel that I have the power, not them and as I stated in each and every post, my offer of forgiveness is there should they seek it and express true sorrow. Will any of them do it? Probably not, but the fact that it’s out there makes me feel empowered.
On the flip side, while I feel empowered, I also feel a slight bit paranoid. My paranoia is linked to this time last year when I went back to that town and donated copies of the book to the public library and the local school I went to. The town in question is full of lawyers, some of them have characters based on them. My fear is that they will not only try to deny any wrongdoing towards me, they will challenge me to prove their wrongdoings in court via a lawsuit. I would not be at least one bit surprised if a former bully has taken his former victim to court and won because the victim couldn’t completely prove the bullying. Only in America, although the UK is getting just as bad that way.
If not denying their bullying, they might attempt to take power back by trying to wear their bullying as some sort of badge of honour. Being a bully warrants no such badge and I will be quick to remind them of that. However, while both of these things are a worry, they are not a big enough worry to take any power from me.
So, was naming all of those bullies and experiences worth it? Certainly, if it sells more copies of the book. Apart from that, it completely closes a terrible chapter in my life. A door which I left open for far too long and influence too many instances in my life since. Part of that was down to my Asperger’s Syndrome but much more of that was my fear to express those dark moments and try to forget and move on. It was only be taking control of those things, getting them out in the open and then closing the door that I could finally do that.
Next post: The Advantages of Group Bullying
To buy He Was Weird: http://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1447783346&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird