Throughout my entire life, people have been frustrated on account of me, believing that I don’t hear them and call into question my hearing ability. Let me say that my hearing’s fine, in spite of over three decades of listening to hard rock and heavy metal music. The problem is not with my ears, it lies with my brain. After all these years, I am convinced there is some sort of block or loose connection in the wires that lead from my eardrums to my brain.
One problem with my brain is that during my waking hours, it very rarely shuts off. In many instances, I find it distracting, especially if I’m driving along in the car and a song I really like plays on the CD player. I have to concentrate really hard on the song, otherwise, some random thought will enter into my mind and I will miss the song. I hear the song, but it doesn’t really register. It’s the same with interpersonal communication. Often times, I know that the person is talking to me but because some other thought is occupying my mind at the time, I don’t register what has been said. Sometimes, the result is that the person gets upset because they are telling me something that might be important and it hasn’t gotten through. I have had these problems in the past with friends, work colleagues, teachers, girl friends and family.
My first thought is to apologise to all of these people, which I do but in doing so, I hope that these people will realise that I wasn’t simply ignoring them or being plain ignorant. I am interested in what people are saying and am doing my best to listen. However, I now know that I can’t concentrate for ultra long periods of time and that the best setting is one to one with no outside distractions like TV.
I have also come to the conclusion that this problem is too a symptom of Asperger’s Syndrome and DAMP and further cements my belief that I have both of these. One source calls it a phantom of the brain but for me, this hits the nail right on the head. There is a phantom inside my brain that stops information from getting there or does the opposite and allows too much to get through at once causing an overload in my head. Either way, the results haven’t always been pleasant.
Book link: I don’t really go into this in “He Was Weird.” It gets touched on. For instance, Mark’s fifth grade teacher uses it for an excuse to put him in the box. In sixth grade, Mr Fluyt explains to Mark’s mother about her son’s problems in concentrating and how he can sometimes miss the point of a lesson. His lack of concentration is a frustration for teachers and a point of amusement for bullies.
I believe that I am not alone in suffering with this. If fellow sufferers read this, I would love to hear your thoughts. If you don’t but know someone like me, I hope you will be more understanding in the future.
Next post: Concentration
To buy He Was Weird: http://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1425404373&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird