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Once again, I know this isn’t going to be the post advertised in the last one. I feel that one can wait one more week as there is something else that this ageing person (I’m 53 on Saturday) needs to talk about. The other day, I was attempting to back out of the parking space at the supermarket when at least five or six cars seemed to suddenly come out of nowhere and drive past preventing me from backing out. My response was all of those who drove past were saying, “Mike’s trying to back out so let’s all drive behind him so he can’t.” Now, as my wife so quick to point out, those cars weren’t deliberately trying to prevent me from backing out of the parking space but to me it seemed that they were.

Throughout my life, it has often seemed that there was some kind of conspiracy against me. People or society as a whole has either changed the rules or acted in a way that seems to thwart me at every turn. Let me tell about the most obvious one (at least to me.) When I was serving in the Marines from 1979 to 1983, it seemed that while men’s hair styles were shorter than the early 70s, men with long hair weren’t seen as weird. I, because I was serving my country, was sporting a very short hairstyle because haircut regulations in the USMC even then were very strict. So, when I got out in 83, I was looking forward to the prospect of growing my hair again. What happened was that the vast majority of men cut their hair very short just when I was able to grow mine. Naively, I thought that once people learned that I had been in the service and was just letting my hair down, literally, they would understand. Wrong!

It was the same with partying. Because of the strict disciplinary regime military personnel have to live under, when they do get the chance to let off steam, they do so in a big way.  There was and probably still is a party till you drop mentality in the armed forces. I took this attitude with me when I left the Marines and thought I would find like minded people when I attended the local community college. It should have dawned on me that this wasn’t the case when no one took notice of my suggestion to hit the local bar after a class was cancelled one day. That would have prevented me from making one major faux pas. At the end of the college year, the Spring Bash was held and I attended the bash armed with some pretty powerful drinks. When others politely declined my offers to share, I thought, “more for me.” The result was me ending up passed out on the park bench puking my guts out. Put it this way, I would have been more popular that day if I had turned up with a nine millimetre glock and just started blowing people away. My conclusion from these two scenarios was that when I left the service in 1983 and was ready to grow my hair and party down, everyone else cut their hair and conformed just to spite me.

So, there is a genuine conspiracy against me, at least according to my Asperger’s mind. Like I said in an earlier post, all computerised and mechanical objects are programmed not to work properly for me. The conspiracy is even more true when I am driving in the car having to get to a certain place at a certain time. The ensuing traffic jam is because all of the vehicles on the road are now there to slow traffic down and make sure I am late. Then there is the case when at work or wherever that information doesn’t get passed to me. Surely, they’re doing it to make my life miserable. The examples go on.

So you see, the world is really out to get me and there is a genuine conspiracy against me. Okay, maybe not, but with the workings of my mind, it’s very very easy for me to feel there is.

Next post: Interracial Bullying

To buy He Was Weird, go to: http://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Was-Weird-Michael-Lefevre/dp/1909740942/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1401798362&sr=1-1&keywords=he+was+weird

 

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